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Monday, December 23, 2024

Cinema Playground Journal 2024: Week 51 (My Cinema Playground)

Multiplex Madness


Homestead
⭐️
Genre:  Thriller, Faith
Director:  Ben Smallbone
Starring:  Neil McDonough, Dawn Olivieri, Susan Misner, Jesse Hutch, Bailey Chase


Angel Studios barely knows how to make faith dramas.  The fact that they also seem to think they know how to make apocalyptic thrillers is honestly really funny.  The last time I saw something comparable from them was last year's multiverse sci-fi The Shift, also starring Neil McDonough.  That did not encourage me to think they should try genre-pushing again.  Homestead is apparently based on a book series called Black Autumn, so maybe Angel is hoping for their own dystopian franchise.  I sincerely hope the books are better than this.

Homestead takes place in the aftermath of some sort of attack on America that...did...things...?  Exactly what happened is kept extremely vague.  The only thing that we directly see is that a boat off the coast explodes and some sort of toxin is released into the air.  After that, the sky turns orange and the power grid goes out.  Apparently, the power thing was something separate, I don't know, but we are delivered exposition clumsily through a family who doesn't know what's going on, but somehow knows exactly what to do in this specific situation as they run to the car screaming "Just don't breathe the air!" (Hint: Your not calming your kids down in a crisis if your survival tip is "Just don't breathe.").  They then load up into a car and hit a button on the dash, as the car's computer says "Bioweapon Defense Mode Activated."  Is this standard issue?  Can all cars do this nowadays?  Am I screwed because I own a used car from twenty years ago?  Seriously, we're not even five minutes into this movie and I've already completely given up on it.  But long-story-short, they travel to Neil McDonough's ranch house, which acts as a safe haven for select families.  But he has to pick and choose who he lets in, while others sit outside the fence and look like lost puppies looking for a home.  It's like watching a stripped down episode of The Walking Dead that's refocusing to appeal to an audience that wants movies to be much fluffier, with more praying and less flesh-eating.

It's not that hard to decipher what the movie wants to do.  It seems like the people making this film want to make a story of community, environmental care, and independence from technology.  Whether or not they understand how much they garbled those messages in static is unknown to me.  It's commentary on crisis desperation is hollow and surface-level, never exploring what it's trying to portray, as all extras come off as mindless wandering NPCs rather than human beings.  The one point the movie threatens to become interesting is when the group is pressured to become more militant to protect what they have and a teenage boy shoots an innocent man, causing him to be overwhelmed with guilt.  The boy's love interest helps share his pain by telling the guilt of having a heart transplant, saying "He died so I can live."  Yeah...um...this isn't the same thing.  Heart transplants aren't taken from randos who are forced onto a table and have their vital organs taken (unless her parents went through the black market for that heart, and if they did, I have questions), they're given by people who died in something totally unreleated and willingly signed off on being an organ donor.  That's about the level of awareness this movie has.  The entire movie is written in this gobsmackingly stupid drone, right down to a climax firefight that happens because some government guy wants guns or taxes or some shit and sicks a police S.W.A.T. team on the ranch, who likely have better things to do during an apocalypse than this.  The movie then swings for the fences with it's faith ending, where the movie clearly thinks it has passed on some sort of powerful message of life.  The only message it succeeds in getting across is how to grift money out of an easy mark of an audience.


Mufasa:  The Lion King
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre:  Adventure, Musical
Director:  Barry Jenkins
Starring:  Aaron Pierre, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Seth Rogan, Billy Eichner, Tiffany's Boone, Donald Glover, Mads Mikkelsen, Thandiwe Newton, Lennie James, Anika Noni Rose, Blue Ivy Carter, Beyoncé Knowles-Carter


The Circle of Life continues, as should be!  It's not a surprise that we have another Lion King movie.  It always seemed inevitable.  In fact, it's actually surprising that there have only been three theatrical Lion King movies made in the last thirty years, as the rest have been direct to video (or television).  It was a bit of a questionable legacy to what is probably one of the greatest animated films of all time (some might even consider it the greatest), but maybe less is more.  I hardly remember the live action remake, anyway.  I know I've seen it, but when I think of the events of this story, I always think of the original movie.  Seeing it with photorealism was an interesting novelty, but the original was irreplaceable.

Acting as both a sequel and a prequel to the previous film, Mufasa:  The Lion King centers on Rafiki sitting down with Simba and Nala's daughter Kiara, telling her the story of her grandfather, Mufasa, and how he went from a lost lion cub to king of the Pride Lands.  Timon and Pumba are there too, often used as humorous intermission because most children probably aren't interested in a Lion King story that doesn't involve their beloved shtick.  As to whether or not this movie is a more worthwhile investment than the previous remake, this movie contains a few of the same issues I remember having with it, such as more concentration on making the characters look lifelike than lively and dull musical numbers that visiually just offer a bunch of animals frolicking.  As someone who is more intimately familiar with the original film than the remake, I find myself more intrigued about getting a story based on Mufasa as a youngster than a sequel to the last movie.  That story has its ups and downs, but it had more thoughtfulness in it than I was expecting.  There is a serious attempt at making Mufasa's story distinct from Simba's, ensuring that the story isn't just "The Lion King Again" (which is a one-up this movie has on the sequel to Gladiator, anyway).  There is also a lot of heart given to Mufasa's relationship with Taka, who would grow up to become the villainous Scar.  Truth-be-told, I enjoyed the depth they gave Taka in this movie.  Using a recent film for comparison, Taka's journey could have been as hollow as Megatron's in Transformers One, where he starts off as one character and just suddenly switches his entire personality halfway through because the plot demands it.  The Taka that ends this movie is very believable as the same character who starts it, and he's very believable as the same character as Scar in the first Lion King.  It's solid writing.

But there are things that hold it back.  For starters, Mufasa's story isn't as strong as the story told for Simba in the previous film.  There is a slight deflation to this, because Mufasa has always been such a powerful and bold presence, so wise of his knowledge of life.  Mufasa needs a story that feels bigger than Simba's because the character always presented himself as if he was.  A lost lion cub on a journey with an adopted brother doesn't quite feel like that is a story worthy of such a character.  The idea of him forming the Pride Lands might be, but there is a slightness to how this transpires, while it also undermines the "Circle of Life" aspect of the Lion King, which always implied that Mufasa and Simba were never the first kings and they were far from the last.  And finally is Lin-Manuel Miranda's music, which lives in the shadow of Elton John.  Miranda is a talent, and Moana 2 was all the weaker for not having him onboard, but there just isn't the same power to the music in this movie.  It's probably the weakest musical offering I've seen from him, even though the songs are still enjoyable in the moment.  And that's the underlining problem with this movie as a whole:  it's a good effort that is living behind the behemoth of something greater.  But it's hard to overshadow The Lion King, no matter how good your movie is.


Sonic the Hedgehog 3
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre:  Comedy, Superhero, Adventure, Action
Director:  Jeff Fowler
Starring:  Jim Carrey, Ben Schwartz, Keanu Reeves, Idris Elba, Coleen O'Shaugnessey, Krystan Ritter, Natasha Rothwell, Shemar Moore, James Marsden, Tika Sumpter


Sonic fans will be pleased to know that the third film is the best in the series.  What exactly this means for people like me who thought the first two movies sucked balls is more complicated.  I'm still irritated at this franchise for that first film, which has one of the most disgusting morals I've ever seen in a children's film, where the story told us we should put aside self-aspiration because it might make someone you barely know (who also watches you while you sleep) feel sad.  I feel gross just thinking about that movie, as well as the enabled toxicity that resulted from changing the main character's design to appease fans.  I mean, it was a horrid original design, but it underlined the film's thematic message of appeasing incels in a very yucky way.  The only saving grace was a hilarious performance by Jim Carrey.  The second one was just junky and dumb.  Still had Jim Carrey, though.  The third one has two Jim Carreys!  Yay!

This new adventure has Sonic colliding with a dark hedgehog named Shadow, who is just as fast as Sonic, but goth!  Shadow seeks revenge for the death of a human companion from years prior, and teams up with Jim Carrey's Dr. Robotnik and his grandfather (also played by Carrey) to watch the world burn.  Personally, I enjoyed the original Sonic games, but I drifted from the franchise as Sonic's personality became more defined.  I just don't like Sonic as a character.  I find his attitude grating.  Sonic has always been insufferable, and any movie he stars in will struggle against mediocrity until they figure out a way around that.  But even if it can't, the strength of this third film lies in cutting Jim Carrey loose and letting him hog the spotlight.  Carrey is a blast in this movie, and it's by far his best work in this franchise, and probably the funniest he has been since his heyday in the 90's.  It's a shame the movie can't solely be about him, as we flash back to the obnoxious critters running around.  But, to be fair, a few of the gags are solid, and the movie is adequately funny.  It's shallow, but it's entertaining.  I could have done for more development on Shadow, who seemed to have a sweet relationship with a little girl.  We find out a bit about her, but not enough for motivations in this film to fully make sense.  We also find out very little about where Shadow came from or if he's from the same world as Sonic.  Maybe the video games answer this, but I wouldn't know, because I haven't played Sonic since the days of Genesis.  I don't think any of this will matter to the intended audience, who likely just want to see Sonic run fast, be smarmy, and entertain them swiftly.  At that goal, Sonic the Hedgehog 3 succeeds.  Even for a grump like me who had no expectations for it, I have to admit, this one was fun enough.

Movies Still Playing At My Theater
Gladiator II ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Moana 2 ⭐️⭐️
Red One ⭐️⭐️
Wicked Part I ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

New To Digital
Anora ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

New To Physical
Absolution ⭐️⭐️
Conclave ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Piece by Piece ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Terrifier 3 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Transformers One ⭐️⭐️

Coming Soon!

Monday, December 16, 2024

Cinema Playground Journal 2024: Week 50 (My Cinema Playground)

Multiplex Madness


Kraven the Hunter
⭐️
Genre:  Action, Superhero
Director:  J.C. Chandor
Starring:  Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ariana DeBose, Russell Crowe, Fred Hechinger, Alessandro Nivola, Christopher Abbott


Honest-to-god, I love Kraven the Hunter.  The character, not the movie.  He's one of Spider-Man's greatest villains, and he's one that deserved to go toe-to-toe with Spidey in a movie.  There is something tragic about how Sony is subjecting Kraven to their sub-par, heartless solo film treatment.  Venom is at least a trashy character who semi-relishes such a spotlight, and nobody cares about Morbius or Madame Web.  Kraven deserved to be a proper Spider-Man antagonist in an actual movie.  They made this instead, potentially turning him into box office poison.  So far, that's the greatest sin that Sony has made against superhero cinema.  And they're the ones who made the Ghost Rider movie.

Okay, let's get this out of the way.  Kraven the Hunter is the story of Sergei Kravinoff, a Russian huntsman who is so in touch with nature that he is also half-beast, using his hunting skills to become an assassin.  When a crime boss kidnaps his little brother, Sergei puts all of his skills into a search and rescue.  There is a lot of sterilizing being done to make Kraven more of a protagonist, trying to make him softer.  Kraven is in tune with nature, but, in the comics, he is a game hunter who both hunts both beast and man for sport.  In this film, he is a man who lives out in the wild and sees himself as one with the animals.  It's a misguided side-step to make Kraven more cuddly when it just makes him toothless.  But there is still an underlining idea of Kraven here that the movie tries to latch itself onto, but it always slips away from it.  There are glimpses of promise within its setpieces, where it shows off the feral action film that it wants to be.  They are fleeting as it retreats into a dull narrative of brooding nonsense.  It's really funny that Sony has been advertising so enthusiastic about the gory R-rating for this movie when all it amounts to is cartoony CGI blood splatters.  The movie wants the pretense of being edgy without actually doing anything hardcore.  The animalistic action has no bite.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson at least looks great as the title character, and he sells some of character's more animalistic attribute.  But it becomes clear the movie is making sacrifices to his character to make things easier for Taylor-Johnson to play him.  There comes a point in the narrative where Kraven, a Russian character who never really left his country, suddenly decides to speak in an American accent as soon as he grows into Taylor-Johnson's age.  The same goes for Fred Hechinger as his brother Demetri.  The only person who commits to the Russian heritage is Russell Crowe, while everyone else rejects it in order to make the dialogue more palatable for American ears.  It's a fucking joke.  It's a movie that wants an animal man and is using the Kraven license as an excuse.  The best thing I can say for its commitment to the Spider-Man comics it's based on is that the big bad of the movie is Rhino, and it actually accepts the inherent stupidity of the character and goes full camp with it.  It's not a great showdown, but I'll give the movie credit for ending with a fight between two characters with completely different skill-sets.

It doesn't stop the movie from being completely atrocious, though.  And not even in a way that's fun to make fun of, like Morbius or Madame Web.  It took them decades to do it, but Hollywood finally made a Marvel adaptation that's worse than the 90's Captain America movie.  I'm not in the mood to celebrate, because they dragged a character I had respect for through the mud in order to do it.


The Lord of the Rings:  The War of the Rohirrim
⭐️⭐️
Genre:  Fantasy, Adventure
Director:  Kenji Kamiyama
Starring:  Brian Cox, Gaia Wise, Luke Pasqualino, Miranda Otto


It's amazing how much Lord of the Rings is mimicking Star Wars, branching out from a well-loved trilogy into a prequel trilogy nobody liked, and following that up with an animated movie that nobody asked for.  As for when the cash-in spin-off movies come around, apparently those are in the works, so don't worry about this franchise not being properly milked.  That's not even bringing up overwhelming streaming content that is exhausting to try and keep up with.  There is a lot of talk as to whether or not War of the Rohirrim is a blatent attempt to deathgrip onto lapsing film rights to this franchise while live-action spin-offs are developed, and I'm not really interested in judging that.  If it is, far more cynical attempts at this have happened, and that's just this weekend (why else would a Kraven the Hunter movie be made if Sony weren't scraping the Spider-Man license free of meat?).  At least The War of the Rohirrim seems to be handed off to a group of filmmakers who seem interested in making an honest-to-god Lord of the Rings movie.

Two-hundred years before the other Middle-Earth tales, The War of the Rohirrim tells the story of a lovers' spat that accidentally started a war.  A warrior princess named Héla refuses an engagement to childhood friend Wulf, which causes their two king father's to quarrel, where Héla's father accidentally kills Wulf's.  Wulf vows revenge, gathering an army to tear down Héla's kingdom.  I appreciate that this is a very different story than the other Middle-Earth movies, which defaulted on "Let's grab a ring and take a three-movie walk to smoke this bitch."  There's a lot going on, though, and it feels like it has more story than the entirety of any previous trilogy crammed into two hours.  But even as this movie feels rushed, it also feels meandering, as the events that are portrayed never feel like they steamroll in momentum properly.  This might be, in part, due to the animation, which is a little patchy in motion, even if it looks good in stills.  There is a sort of Don Bluth quality to it that is hard to deny, but while it's trying hard to be dynamic, it can't help but come off as stiff and lifeless.  I think they did what they could to breathe life into these characters who feel like they're asterisks in a Tolkien dictionary, but they never seize an audience's gaze through script or visual.

But overall, one thing that nags at me about this movie is that feels like a generic fantasy sword battle tale that happens to have a Lord of the Rings setting.  There are no Hobbits, there are no Elves, there are no Dwarves, and there is a single Wizard in a gratuitous cameo that kinda sucks.  While Middle-Earth isn't exclusively home to stories of them, it feels less like Middle-Earth without them.  The War of the Rohirrim feels distant from the movies it wants to honor, not in a bad way, but rather in a dull way.  But it's not all bad news.  I liked it better than the second Hobbit movie, which is still the most bored I have been watching any of these movies, and it's less cringe with its fan service than the third one.  I'm going to accept that as a minor win and move on.


Queer
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre:  Drama
Director:  Luca Guadanino
Starring:  Daniel Craig, Drew Starkey, Jason Schwartzman, Henrique Zaga, Leslie Manville


In case you can't tell from the title, Queer is a story of "the gays."  Specifically, Daniel Craig is a gay man living in 1950.  It might seem like shock value in casting someone who has played James Bond, one of top brands of heterosexuality, in a gay role, but this isn't the first time a Bond actor has played a gay man.  If you insist that it is, that is "Roger Moore in Boat Trip" erasure and I will not stand for it.  But anyway, Craig begins a relationship with a cryptic man who Craig longs a stronger connection with.  And if you think you know where it's going from there, you're in for a ride, let me tell you.  The movie is not really a romance, feeling at times like a study in the struggles of homosexual bonding between partners.  That being said, some of the themes are more universal than that, as the film comes off as simple as being an allegory for trying to get closer to someone who seems mentally baracaded.  The movie goes a little off its rocker in exploring that, especially its crazy third act, but the movie is interesting when it's not being insane.

Movies Still Playing At My Theater
Gladiator II ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Interstellar ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Moana 2 ⭐️⭐️
Red One ⭐️⭐️
Werewolves ⭐️⭐️1/2
Wicked Part I ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Y2K ⭐️⭐️1/2

New To Digital
Heretic ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Coming Soon!

Monday, December 9, 2024

Cinema Playground Journal 2024: Week 49 (My Cinema Playground)

Multiplex Madness


Werewolves
⭐️⭐️1/2
🏆Must-See Bad Movie Award🏆
Genre:  Action, Horror
Director:  Steven C. Miller
Starring:  Frank Grillo, Katrina Law, Ilfenesh Hadera, James Michael Cummings, Lou Diamond Phillips, James Kyson


No, it's not the James Cameron sequel to Tony Zarrindast's MST classic Werewolf.  Instead, Frank Grillo is in a lycanthrope apocalypse!  The idea of the film is that every human has werewolf genes in their DNA, and every now and again there is an event called a "Supermoon" that unlocks it, turning everyone into a werewolf for a night.  Most humans lock themselves at home to avoid exposure to the moonlight, while other use the event to work on a suppression vaccine to cure it.  And also others just turn into werewolves and start murdering people.  Basically, it's The Purge, but with werewolves.


To get straight to the point, the movie is not particularly great.  It's an undercooked production with a big idea, trying to sell itself on that idea alone.  A big idea can only get you so far, but it's not nothing.  Given what it has to work with, ranging from a low budget to a melodramatic script, I respect the ambition the movie has.  No matter what you can fault the movie for, it doesn't skimp on the schlocky entertainment.  The movie is grim and gritty, while being goofy and silly all at once.  The werewolves will tear people to pieces while looking like Rahzar from Ninja Turtles II.  The movie appeals to a very particular kind of entertainment value, filling a niche that larger budget films do not.  Though, as amusing as the film is, one does wonder what this particular production might have accomplished with more money and a more complete script.  If the movie had gone direct to streaming, it probably would be seen at as an overlooked cult film.  In theaters, it comes off as dismissable.  But if you're willing to vibe with it, you'll slap your knee and have a good chuckle at the reckless disregard for human life.

TUSK!





Y2K
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre:  Comedy, Horror
Director:  Kyle Mooney
Starring:  Jaeden Martell, Rachel Zegler, Julian Dennison, Lachlan Watson, Mason Gooding, Fred Durst, Alicia Silverstone


The actual Y2K scare is a weird asterisk in pop culture, one that Gen Z would likely look at Gen X and Millennials with less respect if someone tried to explain it to them.  It was this whole idea that computer systems of the time were programmed with yearly dates that were whittled down to two digits instead of four, so when the year "99" switched over to "00," all hell would break loose in the digital world because systems would think everything reset.  There was even a TV movie thriller exploiting it, that's how in the subconscious it was.  It's one of those "You had to be there" things.  This new Y2K movie is made for people who were there, see the title, and were like "lol, I remember that bullshit."

Y2K reinvents history by centering on a group of teenage party-goers on New Years Eve 1999, only to be caught off-guard by the realization that not only is the Y2K virus real, but it has caused all electronic devices to come to life and try to wipe out the human race.  It's kind of a hindsight joke about the apocalyptic fear people had, but my understanding was that Y2K was mostly about potential power outages and data resets erasing bank accounts and the like, not the creation of Skynet.  This movie rejigs what it was so it can make fun of how it made people feel, stylizing it in a way that is best described as a simulator of what it's like to get high and watch a double feature of Mallrats and Chopping Mall made by people whose TVs would only switch away from MTV if That 70's Show was on.  If that's your idea of a good time, by all means, Y2K is a movie made for you.  But if you think it looks dumb, then it's exactly what you think it is.  It's really fucking stupid, but it's stupid in an endearingly sincere way.  The movie has nothing but love for its retro era and lovingly makes it burn with its kitschy camp flavor.  Aspects of the film are underdeveloped in favor of a vibe, as we watch machines supposedly brought to life in a hive mind through the internet, even though most of the internet required cable connection back then, which makes these free-roaming creatures more advanced than what can be reasonably expected.  That's the same type of digital understanding you'd see in crappy 90's media of this type, like a Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad, so it kinda works in a roundabout way.  The movie doesn't want you to think that hard about it, it just wants you to chill to its vibe and its playlist, while making you bask in the glow of its parade of 90's legends in supporting roles, like Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst, Clueless star Alicia Silverstone, and cinematography by The Matrix's Bill Pope.  If you get it, you get it.  If you love it, you love it.  Y2K has little thought or care for people who don't get it or love it, and, if nothing else, I respect that.

Movies Still Playing At My Theater
Gladiator II ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Heretic ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Interstellar ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Moana 2 ⭐️⭐️
Red One ⭐️⭐️
Wicked Part I ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

New To Digital
Good One ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Weekend in Taipei ⭐️⭐️
Your Monster ⭐️⭐️⭐️

New To Physical
Alien:  Rolumus ⭐️⭐️1/2
The Dead Don't Hurt ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Never Let Go ⭐️⭐️1/2
White Bird ⭐️⭐️⭐️
The Wild Robot ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

Coming Soon!

Monday, December 2, 2024

Cinema Playground Journal 2024: Week 48 (My Cinema Playground)

Multiplex Madness


Moana 2
⭐️⭐️
Genre:  Adventure, Fantasy, Musical, Comedy
Director:  David Derrick Jr., Jason Hand, Dana Ledoux Miller
Starring:  Alui'i Cravalho, Dwayne Johnson, Hualālai Chung, Rose Matafeo, David Fane, Awhimai Fraser, Khaleesi Lambert-Tsuda, Temuera Morrison, Nicole Scherzinger, Rachel House, Gerald Ramsey, Alan Tudyk


I love Moana.  It's not only one of the best film's in Disney's lengthy animation history, it's one of the best films since the turn of the century.  It's a beautiful story of ambition and self-discovery, with probably the best music Lin-Manuel Miranda has ever offered his audience.  I actually didn't know a sequel was being made until the trailer dropped, which surprised me, because I would have thought I'd have been on top of that.  It turned out there was a good reason for that, because Moana 2 started out as a Disney+ miniseries as part of Disney's big streaming push under Bob Chapek before he was ousted from the studio.  The series was reworked into a theatrical sequel instead.

I had concerns.  The rhythm of TV is different than a feature film, and reformatting rarely finds an adjustment to that.  Add that in to the fact that Disney's wave of franchising out their popular animated productions has yet to provide a quality sequel.  Ralph Breaks the Internet had its moments, while Frozen II was a vanilla bore.  There has been nothing offered that has been nearly as inspired as 1990's The Rescuers Down Under, but that movie didn't make nearly as much money as the others, so that might just be a "me thing."  Meanwhile, Disney's animation has been in a mini slump since Encanto, with clunky films like Strange World and Wish underperforming with both critics and audiences (I liked Wish more than most, though).  Sure enough, Moana 2 lives up to most of my hesitancy, as its plot feels episodic enough that you can pick where each episode was supposed to end, while it offers no return to form for the mainstay animation studio, even though its animation is just as stunning as ever.  The unfortunate truth that hangs over Moana 2's head is that it's wasn't put into production wanting to live up to the first film, created to be consumed content rather than a meaningful continuation.  But the people who were making that content at the very least respected the first film, which makes it go down easier.

As suggested by the title, Moana is back.  This time she is tasked by her ancestors to restore the mythical island of Motufetu, which connected many lands across the sea.  This time she's not alone, not only reteaming with demigod Maui, but she puts up her own team of islanders to follow her on her mission to Motufetu.  All of these characters offer little other than quirky comic relief, displaying personality traits without much character, like the Autobots in a Michael Bay Transformers movie.  They offer very little to Moana on her journey, except to jabber at her with their distinctive tone.  The movie threatens to be a string of constant comic relief, which becomes a problem to the movie's vibe.  Even if one is ignorant to the complicated history of this film, it's very apparent that the sequel doesn't have the same spirit as the first film, leaning more heavily into slapstick comedy over soul-searching adventure.  Adventure and soul-searching are still present, but their blood has been drained until they're pale in the face.  The movie doesn't really mean much of anything to Moana that she didn't already go through in the first film, except maybe what appears to be a story of Moana becoming an inspirational leader to her crew.  The problem is that the movie never really leans into this.  Her crew all like her, respect her, and want to do right by her since the beginning of the film and there is really nowhere to go from there.  When you have a movie that has a theme on the tip of its tongue that it can't express, it becomes about little to nothing.  Instead, the movie just becomes more Moana, more Maui, more Heihei, and hey, Pua is here this time, too.  It just reminds us that we love these characters.  I didn't exactly need that reminder and would have preferred seeing them on a quest that was meaningful, but I did enjoy seeing them again, I'll admit.  And I will also admit that I am curious about what the climax means for Moana's future, though I would hope a potential third film has more inspiration fueling it.

Moana 2 could have and should have been better than this.  It could have kept the same story, but had done a complete script rehaul and featured more polished musical numbers, offering at least one song that can live up to "Away, Away," "You're Welcome," and the Oscar-winning "How Far I'll Go."  It's so easy to picture this movie working, and yet it instead floats in the ocean.  The best thing I can say is that the first Moana is still a meaninful story about a very special character.  An underwhelming sequel isn't going to change that.

Netflix & Chill


Dear Santa
⭐️⭐️
Streaming On:  Paramount+
Genre:  Comedy, Fantasy
Director:  Bobby Farrelly
Starring:  Jack Black, Robert Timothy Smith, Keegan-Michael Key, Brianne Howey, Hayes MacArthur, Austin Post, P.J. Byrne


I probably wouldn't have gone out of my way to watch this movie, but I have a kinda pretty funny story related to it and it piqued my curiosity because of it.  Last year, I did one of those focus study things where someone test screens a trailer for you and you respond to a series of unspecific questions that help the studios know what the audience is thinking.  I've done these before, watching trailers to the likes of Blockers, Fast X, and Aquaman 2.  This specific time made me raise an eyebrow though, because of the line of questioning I was given after the trailer played.  The trailer in question:  Dear Santa.  I watched the trailer, had a very neutral opinion of it, but the questions seemed less concerned about what I thought of the trailer and instead wanted to know what I thought of the title.  Honestly, the title sucks.  It's a very base title that tells you nothing about this movie, which sees a boy writing a letter to Santa Claus only to misspell "Santa" and accidentally summon Satan, played by Jack Black.  They gave me a series of titles to wade through, and they were all collectively awful (the worst one simply titled the movie "The Mix-Up," which is just...woof).  Anyway, time passed, the holiday season came and went, and the movie didn't come out.  I had mentioned this in passing on social media, only for my post to come to the attention of Ricky Blitt, the screenwriter of this movie.  We had a fun back and forth about it, and it was very informative.  Initially, he titled this script "Dear Satan," but Paramount got cold feet and didn't want to make a Christmas movie with "Satan" in the title because they thought it would turn off families.  The idea is absurd, because it's the premise of the entire movie.  You might as well just lean it and let the cards fall where they may.  I suppose they were so concerned about this that they shelved it for a year, and finally just dumped it on streaming with little fanfare.  What a wild ride for this movie that has lived in the back of my head for over a year.

The film itself is just high-concept silliness.  Nothing to get excited about nor worked-up over.  Jack Black is pretty solid in this movie, with special props to the costume and make-up departments for making him look like a Santa straight from Hell.  But at the same time, I suppose I can see why the movie was just tossed onto streaming.  It's a funny idea, but it's a quaint script that likely insists on more style than it's given.  The film is directed by Bobby Farrelly of Farrelly Brothers fame, which is certainly one way to approach this movie.  I kinda want to see a version of this movie with a little bit of a fiendish flair to it, like a Sam Raimi would provide.  It would probably up the budget a tad, but the light naughty Christmas theme would genuinely excell with some darker tones.  Instead, it's just directed like a slightly naughty holiday offering.  As is, the movie coasts on the shoulders of Jack Black and a couple of character actors to elevate the material.  Occasionally, they get a solid chuckle, but if one is hoping for more than a chuckle, the movie is likely a miss.  Unfortunately, I can't say this is a hidden holiday gem that the studio fumbled.

However, Ricky Blitt is a super nice guy.  Ten outta ten.  Would shoot the shit with again.

Movies Still Playing At My Theater
Bonhoeffer ⭐️⭐️
Gladiator II ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Heretic ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Red One ⭐️⭐️
Wicked Part I ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

New To Streaming
Conclave ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Elevation ⭐️⭐️
Here ⭐️⭐️
Terrifier 3 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
We Live in Time ⭐️⭐️1/2

New To Physical
Hush ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Coming Soon!