What If We Had a Fire? (Rifftrax Shorts)

Rifftrax Year:  2010
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

Read this review repeatedly in case of a fire at your house.

I mean it.

Are you ready?  Good.

This short tells of a boy who is afraid of what his family can do in case of a fire, luckily a fireman has some helpful lecturing tips for him.  He then heads home, annoys his parents into coming up with a fire plan, and now the obsessed dad wakes his family in the middle of the night screaming "FIRE!" and forces them to evacuate the house.

Fire escape routes are important, so it's always best to have a plan.  The short is fairly simple and straightforward so there is nothing too glaringly terrible about it, other than a bit of underacting and a slothful climax of a fire drill.  But pretty much all the tips are on point, and children would definitely learn something watching it.

But Mike, Kevin, and Bill are not interested in learning fire escape routes.  They're here for a laugh, and the short provides some wonderful material for them.  There's some delicious dark humor at the expense of people potentially roasting alive, as they give the characters a nature of "Every man for himself" and "If you aren't overprepared everyone you know and love will die horribly."  Even during the family's successful evacuation climax, the riffers ponder how grandma will get out.

This isn't where the riffs stop, with some great jabs at the obsessive enthusiasm for fire safety in the short.  They also delight at the indignity of the scenarios, as mom is forced to crawl on the ground during a fire drill and Bill points out "What middle-aged woman wouldn't love to be filmed at this angle?"  Fire safety has never been so hilarious!

And if you didn't learn a thing about fire safety from this review, no refunds.

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