Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (Rifftrax)

Film Year:  2017
Genre:  Fantasy, Science Fiction
Director:  Rian Johnson
Starring:  PORGS!  Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Kelly Marie Tran, Laura Dern, Benicio del Toro, Domhnall Gleeson, Lupita Nyong'o, Anthony Daniels, Gwendoline Christie
Rifftrax Year:  2018
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

The Movie

*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*

Boy I'll tell you, in the aftermath of this movie's release I've never been prouder to consider myself NOT a Star Wars fan.  All the public hate mail and death threats, and you couldn't even mention anything Star Wars related without someone crying about how much they hate Rian Johnson.

This movie, which is somehow considered the worst Star Wars movie ever despite being, you know, really fucking good, takes place immediately after The Force Awakens.  Rey has tracked down Luke Skywalker, who has turned his back on the Jedi faith and wants no part in the renewed war between the New Republic and the First Order.  Disappointed with the Jedi Master, she soon discovers she has a connection with Kylo Ren through the Force and they begin to bond.  Meanwhile the First Order tracks a Rebel fleet through lightspeed and chases them through space.  Running out of fuel and time, Poe and a maintenance worker named Rose seek to infiltrate the enemy vessels to gain a means for the Rebels to escape.

What can I say about this movie except I thought it was pretty good?  If you were to force me at gunpoint to cite a favorite Star Wars movie, I'd probably consider Last Jedi a solid second after Empire.  I find this one a solid character piece, where characters find themselves cornered by the worst of their own actions and are forced to overcome them.  It's a refreshing entry in the saga which is more or less just dominated by Mary Sues and special effects.  The latter of which are still present, and The Last Jedi is just as visually appealing as the best of any Star Wars film.  Sometimes even more so.

I could claim a few things about it that don't live up.  In the end I find Finn and Rose's subplot to be a redundant detour that does little other than give them something to do.  I find the Laura Dern storyline frustrating, because so many of the problems being faced would have been fixed if she had just said a damn word, but instead she stays silent for no reason other than plot contrivance.  But other than that, I don't really have much of a bad word to say about this film.  I enjoy it throughout it's runtime, and it might wind up being a Star Wars movie I'll pop in on a rainy day.

I don't know, this seems like a viscous, endless cycle.  Return of the Jedi came out and it ruined Star Wars.  Then Phantom Menace came out and it ruined Star Wars.  Then the other prequels came out and the prequels in general ruined Star Wars.  Then Disney bought Star Wars and then Disney ruined Star Wars.  I wouldn't be surprised to read tomorrow that the famous "I am you father" line from Empire was initially thought to ruin Star Wars way back in 1980 either.  Now The Last Jedi is the latest thing that has ruined Star Wars.  How can every entry ruin a franchise?  Maybe Star Wars just isn't that good in the first place.

The only thing I can say for certain as an outsider is that when The Last Jedi ended I had a desire to see this film a second time in a theater.  I have never had that reaction to a Star Wars film.  To me that counts for something.

The Trax

For a good long while the Rifftrax for The Last Jedi doesn't have a lot going for it.  Most of it is filled with safe jokes (yes, there are plenty of Green Milk riffs) with an occasional pop culture reference thrown in whether it fits or not.  Sometimes the jokes come out of left field, like Yoda bringing up his corkscrew penis for some reason.  There are points in which I laughed during this riff but for the most part it felt like dead air.  For example, I didn't laugh at Yoda's corkscrew penis, but I did laugh when they snuck in "Wanna see?" immediately afterward.  That's an example of a joke that didn't land but they saved at the last minute due to an immediate insert with great comedic timing.

"Wait, her parents sold her for drinking money?!  They are BY FAR the most interesting characters in the Star Wars universe!"
"Hell yeah!  I wanna party with them!"
"Put them on screen!"

When we hit the third act of the film suddenly there seems to be a fire lit under their asses and they seem to be delivering more quality material.  Laughter comes more frequently and at a great pace, especially in the scenes between Rey, Kylo Ren, and Snoke.  The finale battle is no slouch either, as there are plenty of great gutbusters at the planet that's almost as salty as the fans who watched this movie.

"Salt!  It looks like ice, therefor you can slide across it!"

But I can't really consider this a good riff overall.  Much like Attack of the Clones it gets bogged down by the length of the movie, but unlike Clones the laughs aren't spread throughout.  This riff just takes way too long to get going, making this latest Star Wars release a disappointment.

Average