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Sunday, April 14, 2019

Tourist Trap (The Last Drive-In)


Film Year:  1979
Genre:  Horror
Director:  David Schmoeller
Starring:  Chuck Connors, Jocelyn Jones, Jon Van Ness, Robin Sherwood, Tanya Roberts, Dawn Jeffory, Keith McDermott

The Movie


A group of friends break down in the middle of nowhere.  Splitting up in hope of finding help, some of them find a friendly local who is willing to lodge them over night, while others find that there is a madman out at night who captures lost city folk and turns them into human mannequins.

I was pretty confused about what to expect from Tourist Trap when it started, as it just kind of trudged through its opening credit sequence with white text against a black backdrop while the goofiest music you've ever heard for a horror movie plays.  I saw that it was a Charles Band production, so I definitely knew it was going to be something cheesy, though I was a bit surprised at how effective some scenes in Tourist Trap really were.  The obviously limited filmmaking equipment echoes Texas Chain Saw Massacre in a positive way, and a lot of the shots of frozen mannequin grins and scowls are genuinely unnerving.  I was watching this film and thinking to myself "Is it just me, or is this movie pretty decent?"

The film was directed by David Schmoeller, who went on to direct the first installment of the Puppet Master film series.  It also stars former sports star and Rifleman actor Chuck Connors, who is channeling both Gary Busey and Jack Palance with his performance, as well as future Bond girl and That 70's Show MILF Tanya Roberts.  Acting in the film can be a bit uneven, probably due to what seems like a fast production with limited resources.  Though for the most part the film works at the grindhouse level it seems to be going for.

There are a few things that might work against the film, though.  Sometimes the film can remind one of Texas Chain Saw Massacre a bit too unfavorably.  The masked killer in this film resembles Leatherface a bit too much, which begins to make this film feel like a blatant copy.  There's also a scene later on in the film where the killer is killing a woman while explaining what he's doing to her as he does it, which I understand what they're going for but I find myself feeling it would have been more effective if it were done in silence.  The killer also seems to display some strange psychic powers in the film, which may be a bit much but I'm willing to roll with it, but it doesn't explain how he's able to be everywhere at once, since he just kind of pops out in random locations throughout the movie, despite being somewhere else before the scene cut.  The implication of this character being in multiple places at once might be that these are all mannequins he's controlling telepathically, but that opens up another can of plot holes that I'm not willing to get into.

Unless he also has some sort of teleportation power.  Now THAT'S a movie!

The killer's identity is easy to guess, especially when you begin to notice that location continuity isn't on this movie's mind.  Still, Tourist Trap is a pretty fun little romp for those looking for a silly horror flick with little logic.  If it sounds up your alley, give it a look and see if it's your jam.


The Drive-In


Welcome back to the Drive-In!  This is Joe Bob Briggs' third horror hosting gig, after Joe Bob's Drive-In Theater on The Movie Channel and MonsterVision on TNT.  I'd love nothing more than to cover some classic Joe Bob while I'm doing this, but these segments only exist as incomplete, poor quality VHS rips on YouTube today.  I might piece together what I can at some point in the future if I'm inclined, but if you're not familiar with Joe Bob, type his name into YouTube and check out some of his stuff.  He's fantastic.

Here we start his new show on Shudder called The Last Drive-In, probably because it's likely going to be his last.  I wish we could keep Joe Bob around forever, but the man is getting up there.  He still hasn't missed a beat with that lovable, redneck personality!  He relates a story comparing how he gets a TV show every seventeen years, comparing it to the monster in The Beast Within only coming to life every seventeen years.  But Joe Bob says he'll do anything for two hundred bucks, so he's back.  Believe me, it's good to have him back, even if it took seventeen years and two hundred bucks to do so!

Joe Bob likes Tourist Trap very much, praising how they follow the first rule of a horror film by killing early so the audience thinks nobody is safe, but then scolding it for not following the second rule of always showing breasts when it gets a chance, which he professes disappointment when a lakehole swimming scene shows no nudity.  He deducts a half-a-star from his rating for that alone.  He has a lot of info to share about Chuck Connors, who he is a big fan of, and even feels like shaming Stephen King for saying Connors isn't great in the movie.  There's a little bit of talk about how Connors wanted to be "the Boris Karloff of the 80's" and how he didn't get along with star Jocelyn Jones.  Tanya Roberts gets a little bit of discussion as well, including questioning the functionality of her top.  He praises director David Schmoeller, and calls this movie an underrated classic.  However, Joe Bob's funniest quip comes at Schmoeller's expense...

"Schmoeller said one time he loves horror because it's 'cinematic.'  What the holy fuck does that mean?  Yes David, it's cinematic!  It's made with a camera!  Jesus Christ!"

At the end of the episode, we get the first appearance of our new Mail Girl, Darcy (played by adult film actress Diana Prince).  For Darcy's first letter asks if Joe Bob went off the air because he went to jail, which seems to piss Joe Bob off a bit before deflating the rumor and calling it a "misdemeanor."  Joe Bob tells Darcy it's her duty to man Twitter for 24 hours to keep the mail bag up, to which she objects.  For the record, I've seen her tweetstorm when The Last Drive-In is airing, this woman is a trooper.

But the marathon is just getting started.  Pass me a beer and let's see how long it takes for me to pass out!

Joe Bob's Rating
⭐⭐⭐1/2

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