Genre: Action, Comedy
Director: Robert Clouse
Starring: Lee Van Cleef, Timothy Van Patton, Claud Aikens, Demi Moore, Clu Gulager
MST Season: 3
The Movie
The 80's meant a lot of things: mullets, leotards, syth music, lots of Star Wars reissues, and, of course, ninjas! Those lovable assassins were all the rage with the kids of the 80's, as martial arts sparked a media craze with movies like The Karate Kid and TV shows like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It shouldn't be a surprise that network primetime would want to get families in front of the TV set by fusing the fascination with ninjutsu and its super cool weaponry with the popular TV formula that sees capable vagrants going from town to town and beating up bad guys.
And who better to star in such a show than western icon Lee Van Cleef.
The resulting television series was called The Master. This series featured Van Cleef as the Japanese warrior known as John Peter McAllister, a white guy who had been living in Japan since World War II and learning the way of the ninja. He leaves Japan to search for his long lost daughter in America, where he runs into street tough Max Keller, played by future award winning TV director Timothy Van Patton. Together they search for McAllister's daughter and get into a lot of wacky shenanigans along the way. Exactly thirteen incidents of wacky shenanigans. Because the show was cancelled. Presumably Max's junky van exploded and they both died before finding McAllister's daughter. The End.
Henry the Hamster escaped and lived a long, happy life though.
Master Ninja I is a part of a VHS line that edited together two episodes of The Master as a feature movie for suckers to rent/buy without realizing it's not an actual movie. This first installment edits together the pilot episode "Max," which sees McAllister and Max meeting for the first time to help Demi Moore from a rapist sheriff and entrepreneur Clu Gulager, and episode two "Out-of-Time Step," where McAllister and Max help a nightclub owner from a kingpin and his own ninja.
The main problem with The Master/Master Ninja is that the selling point is seeing ninjas do their ninja thing, and you get at least one fight per episode, but it's lackluster TV choreography that amounts to a pair of guys screaming and aiming their own sword at the other guy's sword. Unless Lee Van Cleef has Bruce Lee talent, there is not a lot you can squeeze out of this. And Lee Van Cleef is no Bruce Lee, let me tell you. The Master could probably save itself if it were smarter about writing it's own episode scenarios, which are generic and lackluster even for a TV show like this. I mean, we all know this daughter subplot is going to go nowhere. Give us something to latch onto.
That being said, if I were born just a little bit earlier I probably would have watched every episode of this show as it aired. I was deep in that ninja love in the 80's and this seems like the type of show I'd watch, not noticing how crappy it was because it was just TV. In fact, I actually own Kino Lorber's blu-ray box set of the series (yes, this series is on blu-ray for some reason...and the show actually looks really good in high-def), so one day I probably will. Probably just a few episodes at a time though.
The Episode
MASTER NINJA THEME SONG!
Mystery Science Theater has done a lot of TV shows posing as movies both before and since: Space: 1999, Star Wolf, Mighty Jack, Gemini Man, ect. For some reason, The Master/Master Ninja is the probably the poster child for this type of movie on the series. Probably because it's the cheesiest show they've done, probably because they've riffed nearly a third of the entire TV series. But whatever the reason Master Ninja is here, and it's a special one for us MSTies. Master Ninja lends itself well to the MST formula, as its a really dumb show and our boys are really having fun with it, playing with its obvious TV series structure haphazardly presented as a "movie" and jabbing how hyperactive it is, with more than a few references to "FLUBBER!" Lee Van Cleef is also under fire, as his physical stature isn't really ninja fit. The Bots mention his gut more than once.
And also, Claude Aikens has a nice rump!
Moving on to the host segments, Crow is in full conspiracy theory mode with "The Van Patten Project," where he tries to tie Timothy Van Patten into something nefarious. Joel and the Bots also create their own brands of "'Chucks" based on different kinds of products that they turn into nunchaku. The Invention Exchange offers up Boil-in-a-Bag IVs and Adult Pop-Up Books. This all leads to a closing tune of MASTER NINJA THEME SONG!
Master Ninja I may be the most iconic TV production on the series, though I find the episode more pleasant than hilarious. It's a lot of fun, though it tends to feel a little long. An episode of The Master can go a long way, and two in a row gets a bit tiresome. That's not enough to derail the experience, which is a lot of fun. Though I'd argue I wasn't exactly ready for more once Master Ninja II popped up a few episodes later on MST. That's not to ward people off this episode, far from it. It's a worthy episode with solid laughs, and I think all MSTies should give it a go because while it's not the best the show has to offer, that doesn't mean it's not iconic.
Good
The DVD
Shout Factory served up a heaping helping of Master Ninja in their Volume XX box set, featuring solid audio and video. The only special feature was an interview with actor Bill McKinney, who played the sheriff in the first episode. It's too bad they couldn't score an interview with Tim Van Patton, who has had a hell of a career after this show. I'd like to know how working on The Master compares to working on Game of Thrones!
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