319-War of the Colossal Beast

Film Year:  1958

Genre:  Science Fiction

Director:  Bert I. Gordon

Starring:  Sally Fraser, Roger Pace, Dean Parkin

MST Season:  3

Featured Short:  "Mr. B Natural"

The Short

The androgynous music sprite Mr. B Natural appears to a socially awkward boy named Buzz to turn him on (?!) to the wonders of music.  Mr. B gets him to toot is own horn (?!?!) by going out and buying a trumpet.  And with no practice necessary, he is awesome at it.  Mr. B then goes into hibernation, awaiting to be called upon once again.

This weird short has been a long time favorite among MSTies for being something of an oddity.  And it lives up to the oddity part.  It tries to make children interested in music by creating a magical character out of it, but this storyline comes off less encouraging than intended.  Mr. B is a bit of a high-pitched annoyance and Buzz doesn't really experience much of a growth.  His story arch pretty much consists of buying a trumpet and reaping the rewards.

Remember kids, being instantly good at music makes you popular.

The Movie

Glenn Manning is back and he is PISSED!  Likely because he had half of his face blown off.  Now looking as badass as Gus did during his death scene in Breaking Bad, Glenn still roams the country side as a mindless giant, eating whatever the fuck he finds in the latest truck that crosses his path.  Ignoring the fact that Glenn had a fiancé in the previous film who would likely be interested in knowing that her beau is still alive, the army instead goes to Glenn's sister, likely because she doesn't have the ball and chain that Glenn's lady love had and they're free to have soldiers flirt with her.  The army aims to catch Glenn and his sister tries to reach what humanity he has left.  But is there any to reach?

This sequel to The Amazing Colossal Man seems like it should hit the ground running, as it features a Colossal Man already on the loose.  Alas it's a bit slower and the Colossal rampages seem a bit subdued.  I mean, there's nobody getting impaled by a giant syringe in this movie.  Why am I even here?  Instead we get a lot of Glenn getting tied down as people beg for him to be able to understand them, which results in a lot of garbled grunting wearing the viewer down with its unpleasantness.

Even the effects aren't up to auteur Bert I. Gordon's usual standards.  Amazing Colossal Man had fairly fake looking effects, but they held up a bit better than what's seen in Colossal Beast, as more often than not Glenn can be seen straight through like a ghost in this flick.  Miniature work tends to be a little more likable, though one wishes they did more with it than just Glenn lifting a bus and growling at it.  All of this leads to Glenn's final fate, which the movie decides to enhance its drama by filming it in technicolor.  It's only twenty seconds of footage and it adds absolutely nothing to it.

War of the Colossal Beast has no war and it's monster isn't much of a beast.  It's a lackluster sequel to a silly but enjoyable slice of B-movie cheese.  It's not so much that it's bad, it's just a bit dull.

The Episode

Come for an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, get blindsided by Mr. B Natural instead.  If War of the Colossal Beast earned a must-see status, it's because of the short featured.

Like "Manos" The Hands of Fate, Mr. B Natural is one of those "discoveries" MST made.  When it aired, the fan base exploded with adoration for the ripe slice of WTF they had just watched.  It's one of those pieces of riffing that every fan had to see and love.  Being a fan from the Sci-Fi era I was very late to the party on Mr. B, but I had heard a lot about it, how weird it was, and how funny the riffing was.  Finally watching the short I found myself disappointed.  Maybe I built the thing too much in my head, but I think the short kind of overwhelms them.  At times they just react to it, and in the moment that's the right approach, but as the short goes on it becomes clear the majority of the short is reaction.  Reaction is great for a shock laugh, but repeating the shock over and over loses it's charm.  They ride on maybe one too many run-on gags in Mr. B Natural:  sexuality confusion over Mr. B's gender, Buzz being a loser, and just saying "Huh?" and "Oh wow" at it. And once Mr. B leaves the picture the riffing becomes a bit dead.  It's decently funny short, but not one of the greats in my book.

Now that I've successfully been a buzzkill (first Pod People, now this.  What an ass I am), we remind ourselves that there is a movie here too.  While Mr. B Natural already earned a bit of clout for this episode, I find myself greatly looking forward to the movie a bit more.  The Amazing Colossal Man is a Bert I. Gordon masterpiece and the previous Colossal riff was definitely a fun one.  Unfortunately Colossal Beast is a bit of a downer as well.  The movie is much slower, more padded, and uneventful and while there are some wacky sights, there really isn't all that much to comment on.  Some kooky segments bring highs, like a slide show for Glenn and him wriggling around some cute miniatures, though nothing here is too inspiring.  Like, Joel sees an image of an almost transparent Glenn where you can see the backdrop through him and all he can say is "He looks like a Big White Guy."  That's it?  Even if they hadn't encountered the title "Amazing Transparent Man" yet, there's definitely quite a few off-the-cuff remarks you can make that are funnier than that.  It's clear that the short has them all jazzed up though, so there is energy in the theater.  That energy might have been put to better use against a more active movie though.

The host segments do continue the wonders of Mr. B Natural, as Crow and Tom Servo debate whether Mr. B is a man or a woman.  And as we live in a world that is more accepting of trans and nonbinary culture than we were in the 90's, I say leave it be.  Mr. B can be whoever he feels he is and he's allowed to express himself!  Pronouns in the bio might be helpful though.  We also get another visit from Glenn, once again played by Mike Nelson, who is a bit more friendly and less irritable than we last saw him.  The new Mex-American food dishes are a treat (Curly Joe Dorito is genius), while the Invention Exchange is just food in canons making a mess.

This one is treated by most as one of the must watch episodes of the series, I myself am going to be more restrained about it.  Mr. B Natural is fine, I like it but don't love it.  The movie itself isn't a huge bit of hilarity but it has its moments.  It's not an episode I usually pop in by choice, more out of rotation, though it's not too disagreeable.

Average

The DVD

This episode popped up in Shout Factory's Volume XXXIV collection, with good audio and video.  There is an intro by Frank for the episode, who says he's not too fond of Bert I. Gordon movies but he respects the effort.  Also featured is a trailer for the film.

Mr. B Natural was released much earlier with the short compilation disc of Mr. B's Lost Shorts, which Rhino included on Volume 6.  Shout eventually re-released this volume with the compilation disc intact.