Film Year: 1968
Genre: Adventure, Horror, Science Fiction
Director: René Cardona
Starring: Noelia Noel, Aldo Monti, and SANTO!
MST Season: 13
Host: Jonah
The Movie
Santo is BACK and this time he's...fighting vampires again. But he has a time machine, so there!
The Treasure of Dracula is El Santo's twentieth feature film, which sees the Lucho Libre using his immense wealth to build a time machine to find clues to find a treasure of the legendary vampire Dracula (hence the title). He sends his busty assistant into the past to live a previous lifetime where she was preyed upon by the count and as the story comes to a close, Santo will use what he has seen to find the treasure and distribute the wealth to the poor. Why he doesn't just donate to charity since he's obviously rich is anyone's guess, but he's not the only one after Dracula's treasure and must wrestle for his right to the claim. Though Dracula himself might also have a say in the matter.
This film feels like two movies shoved together. The first half of the film is a fairly standard Dracula tale as the vampire sneaks into a woman's room and sucks on her neck until two old men start to notice there is a Dracula that is Dracula-ing about and decide to kill him. To make matters wacky, this portion brings to mind the Roger Corman flick The Undead where this is all a story of a woman reliving memories of a past life, only this time it's with a time machine and she can easily come home. Speaking of that time machine, it is straight out of Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. I have no idea if Mike Myers had seen this movie or not, but the designs are so similar that the Mystery Science Theater version even includes a riff at its expense.
The second half of the movie sees Santo and company on a treasure hunt through a cemetery doing some Scooby Doo work and re-enact some Three Stooges routines (I'm pretty sure the swallowing a whistle gag came straight from a Stooge short), racing bad guys to the gold. When all else fails, they agree to a competition for the right to hunt for the treasure, which is just an excuse to set up a sequence in which El Santo fights someone in a wrestling ring and wins. Rocky this movie is not.
Compared to the previous Santo flick seen on MST3K, Samson vs. the Vampire Women, The Treasure of Dracula is less dull. It's a lot more ambitious and fairly wacky, which makes it the more enjoyable of the two. One interesting thing to note is that there were two versions of the film made, one with nudity (known as "The Sexy Cut"), which was to be distributed through Europe, and one without, which was for domestic release. Santo apparently wanted to keep a family friendly image and tried to repress the cut with nudity, though that doesn't stop the watered down version to have a lot of deep shots of women's cleavage pointing directly at the camera. The nudity version was thought lost for decades until they unearthed it and released the film on blu-ray, which currently makes it the more widely seen version today (though arguably the MST version will be the most widely seen version now).
El Santo was an Elvis Presley type superstar back in his day, being shoved into cheap flicks because everyone knew they would make money. I guess one would have to compare him to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson today, another wrestler who became an international movie superstar. Santo seemed less choosy about what movies he starred in, but he and Johnson's flicks are probably equally as dumb and enjoyable.
The Epiode
After a long, excruciating wait, Mystery Science Theater 3000 has survived cancellation yet again. Well fine, Mr. Largest-Streaming-Service-In-The-World, if you don't want us we'll just start our OWN streaming service!
Welcome to the Gizmoplex! Or...the foundations of the Gizmoplex. Okay, so technically the Gizmoplex doesn't exist as of this writing, as they're still working on putting that little online theater experience together, which will hopefully be up and running to the public by May. Gizmoplex.com and handful of MST3K apps DO exist though, and for now they're distributing new MST3K episodes through that exclusively to Kickstarter backers and those who purchased a live stream package while other MSTies will gain access to what episodes have been released on May 6th. According to the release schedule, that means the first three episodes of the newly launched thirteenth season will have premiered by that point, so there will be a nice cluster to pick up on that date.
Now, one thing to remember about this new season of MST3K is that it was made with Covid-19 protocols in place, which means the production is intensely scaled back. The Netflix seasons were larger scale, because they had bigger studio space at their disposal and even some big streamer money to play with. As an independent production that is self distributed made in the middle of the pandemic, if you're expecting this to look like the Netflix seasons, you're going to be disappointed. The aesthetic is much, much cheaper looking. The performers now do their skits against a green screen, even on the Satellite of Love stage in which they no longer have a physical backdrop and because of this Tom Servo's head is no longer transparent but rather a cloudy white color. Felicia Day and Patton Oswalt had done a lot of their work against a green screen anyway in the previous seasons, but the show no longer has large sets projected onto the background behind them because they don't have those large sets anymore. Instead they have some digitally painted backgrounds that look similar to what you would see the celebrity guest stars work against in season 11.
How does it look? Well...it's a good thing nobody watches MST3K for lavish production value, let me tell you. One thing I will say is that while MST3K has always looked cheap (it's an independent puppet show), one of the things I've always liked about the sets was the interactivity and how handcrafted they were. With a digital set you can't really interact with it. This was actually a criticism I never really vocalized about the Mads segments in the last few seasons, as Kinga and Max were usually stationary and there was never interesting scene blocking like you would see between Dr. Forrester and Frank or Pearl, Bobo, and Observer. And the backgrounds, while detailed, look pretty flat, which loses a lot of potential interactivity. This doesn't really seem to matter all that much on the SOL, which plays out pretty much like it normally does (except for a digital painting doorway sequence, which is interesting but looks a little off to me). The Mads scenes are where it feels like we're being gutted a bit, because it feels like the lowest tech it's been since KTMA. If nothing else, just an adjustment in lighting the actors would probably make a difference, because it still feels like Felicia Day and Patton Oswalt are lit with some violet colors like they were on the old Moon 13 set. The new Moon 1 set doesn't really have violet in it, so they feel disconnected. (Editor's Note: This was written based off of the preview screening for Kickstarter backers. In the final version the Moon 1 set has been altered to add violet lighting. But for comparison's sake, I still have the below screenshot of the unfinished version)
Pre-Release Version:
Premiere Version:
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That's enough talk about the new production standards, the important thing that everyone is waiting on pins and needles to see are new theater segments. That's always been the main course of MST3K and it always will be. The good news is that this production has returned to "in theater" riffing, which has the riffers actually riffing the movie from chairs while filming the theater scenes, which adds so much to the experience. The last few seasons had their lines recorded from a sound booth and dubbed over the theater footage, which felt artificial. The riffing in this episode is nice and relaxed and not oversaturated. There were some great episodes in the last two seasons, but this is the homey feel that I like to see from the series.
But riffing experiences do vary from episode to episode. Santo in The Treasure of Dracula is a step forward in finding the grove of riffing MST thrives best on, though the riffing itself tends to sit a bit on the fence. The episode has jokes in it that are very funny, but I don't feel like I was engaged throughout the episode. I'd probably liken the experience to that of the last Santo movie on the series, Samson vs. the Vampire Women, in that I felt it got funnier when Santo was onscreen rather than off. Santo has more to do in the second half of the episode, which really makes that portion of the episode spark a bit more.
That being said, I wouldn't call this a bad episode overall. I enjoyed watching it, and if I were to call it "middle-of-the-road" I'd say it was a top tier middling episode, kinda like how I consider The Painted Hills or Devil Fish middling despite there being some killer stuff in each. Some would consider those favorites and I can see some taking a liking to Treasure of Dracula just as easily. Treasure of Dracula is like riffing two movies in one package and there is charm to that, while fun targets include Santo himself, his comic sidekick Perico, some wild Bela Lugosi impressions for Dracula, and yes, there is even a wrestling match.
But why are Jonah and the Bots here again? Didn't they make their way off the Satellite at the end of last season? I guess the bus they were on circled back at the end of the tour, and in escaping the prison Kinga and Max were stuck in they self-destructed Moon 13, and are now stationed in another base, Moon 1. Status quo retained, the experiment is still on!
There are three host segments again, in case you're one of those who lamented the loss of one last season. I was a defender of that choice as the loss of a host segment put the show in a simple three act structure. However the reintroduction of a middle segment actually serves a purpose of setting up a new intermission break, giving the commercial sign a use again in the process, so I welcome it back. The host segment sketches lean heavily on Jonah and the Bots putting on little performances inspired by the film. Tom Servo tries to use the time travel techniques to reveal humiliating secrets from Jonah's past, Jonah puts on a Home Shopping Network type of display with film props (and a sexy Santo mask), and there is a pre-wrestling match aggression display between Crow and Servo where they can't stop complimenting each other. On the note of that last one, Baron's use of the word "brotherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" would make Hulk Hogan proud. The Invention Exchange is mostly used as a setup for Kinga to talk about the Gizmoplex cinema she built on the moon, but it also offers a chance for Jonah to point out that Crow has "headlights" now, which is just the show's way of calling attention to the fact that the new Crow puppet can blink. While we're on the subject of bot changes, Tom Servo's arms are slinkies again while Gypsy has now been upgraded to a slimmer GPC model (this was done because Joel decided to change Gypsy's name after finding out "gypsy" is considered an ethnic slur).
The episode closes out with a funny bit where the Gizmoplex gets hit by a meteor and Kinga and Max try to save all the Cambots inside. That's another neat thing the show does in that it not only shows off a new Cambot model but gives Cambot models actual screentime. It could be interesting to see them play around with this concept of many Cambots and develop them as actual characters, which MST has always been somewhat reluctant to do since it's hard to actually have Cambot interact with the show.
And for the curious, there is no hint of the new co-host Emily seen in the episode, though the new Mad Mega Synthia has a brief cameo. Mary Jo Pehl is also back for a small walk-on as Pearl Forrester, which is weird since last we saw her she wanted as little to do with Kinga as possible. But she seems excited about the Gizmoplex and even bought tickets to The Crawling Eye.
When bringing back this show there always seems to be pressure to start with your best foot forward. Normally that doesn't happen, as episodes like Revenge of the Creature and Reptilicus are both solid but blemished because there is a growing pain of having to master a change that might cripple them. Santo in The Treasure of Dracula tries to work around a lot and while it's not quite as enjoyable as those two episodes, it's not a strike out either. There's neat stuff littered throughout the episode that keeps one optimistic about the prospect that Mystery Science Theater is back and will never say die. There are also some aspects that I have to begrudgingly accept are a part of the show if I want it to continue with the hope that they may expand if the opportunity arises. I've always been one to accept what is rather than fret about what isn't, so I'll live with it. The new incarnation of the show is imperfect, but it does show promise where it counts. The first episode is just okay, but it could prove to be a comfort episode in the future.
Average
The Backer Livestream
One fun aspect of the new Mystery Science Theater 3000 is that these episodes are being debuted in livestreams with exclusive content for those who paid for the full package of watching them as they debut. The version of Santo in The Treasure of Dracula we watched for this live event is actually incomplete, as the end credits have not been added yet as they had yet to be finalized and we didn't even get a stinger out of the deal. But streaming it live brought us quite a bit of content in its place, as Joel Hodgson, Matt McGinnis, Rebecca Hansen, Tim Ryder, and Lesley Kinzel are all here to answer questions and talk about the new season. The experience isn't too different from the aftershows to the Mads riffs that we've been seeing.
The stream started with an intro from Joel thanking us for supporting the show and then flinging us into the episode. Then the thing we all probably expected to happen did happen...everything broke. The screen was then overtaken by a large white dot, which lit MSTies on social media on fire. This became our new favorite character on the show. All hail the White Dot! It is love. It is legend. It is ours.
The stream broke down for a good twenty minutes and as they rushed to fix it they put up little captions making fun of the situation. That's why I love MST3K. Even when it goes horribly wrong, they can make it funny.
What's interesting is that we also have a commercial break as well. This episode takes an "intermission" halfway through, which sees Pearl, Synthia, Jonah, and the Bots do ads for real life sponsors of the new MST3K in character. I thought it was a lot of fun and a clever way to lean into the show's history while also not only giving purpose to jumping out of the theater halfway through but also earning some ad revenue on the side. Some of these products do look interesting, I might have to check some of those books out at the very least. And a B-movie inspired RPG sounds like a blast! Extending the intermission is a little zoom skit with Joel, Matt, and production assistant Josh Warner where they make nachos and mock soda pop with their own brand names ("Mountain Don't," "A&W Foot Beer," "Spite"). It goes on a bit long and I didn't enjoy it as much as the actual ads, but I'm into the cheesy vibe of it. They also advertise this month's Vault Picks: Teenagers from Outer Space, Hercules Against the Moon Men, The Human Duplicators, Outlaw, Zombie Nightmare, and The She-Creature.
The aftershow kicks off with Joel, Matt, Rebecca, Tim, and Lesley talking about the production and answering questions. Matt starts off with a frustrating story about shipping bots to film the host segments across the country only to have them arrive three weeks late and with a ruined Crow. They discuss what their favorite episodes to write for are, to which Joel had fun with The Christmas Dragon, Rebecca enjoyed The Mask, Tim loved Million Eyes of Sumuru, Lesley gushes about Gamera vs. Jiger, while Matt is torn between The Mask and The Christmas Dragon. They also talk about the new look of the show, referring to it a "Flatimation."
They conclude the session pretty fast, so they can get to a tour of the in-production Gizmoplex design with Ivan Askwith. They tour all the new features and how to navigate the upcoming site, which looks pretty straightforward and fun. I'm in love with the little cardboard standee icons, which are absolutely adorable.
I had fun during this stream. The episode probably won't become a favorite of mine, but it was great to just plan an evening around a new episode of Mystery Science Theater again, order some food, and chug some alcohol. I even like how the stream accidentally looped to some raw footage after I just left it on, so I got to see everyone rehearsing all of their talking points (this is cut out of the download version, so I saw things I shouldn't have seen). I look forward to doing it again once Robot Wars hits. See you all on April 1st!
The Premiere Livestream
"We live in a world of farts and arguments." - Matt McGinnis
(this is settled Matt, this will be printed on your tombstone)
Oh? Am I not done? Well, shit. I guess I have yet another livestream to cover. THAT WASN'T PART OF THE DEAL, JOEL!
I guess they wanted to do live events for people who were unable to buy the Kickstarter event package but wanted to check out the Gizmoplex opening day. So here we are, back again, with another stream and the same episode. At least the episode is actually finished this time. Also, they altered the Moon 1 background in the episode to address my complaints about it that I printed above, so no when I have that complaint in my review I now look like an ass. Joke's on you, I'm not changing it. Looking like an ass is what I do best.
Anyway, this stream starts with a little segment where Joel shows off the features of the Gizmoplex, which is a skimmed down tour compared to what we saw when Ivan showed it off in the previous livestream but it encourages people to play with its unique features. Site looks gorgeous and I'm digging it.
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The main difference between this stream and the last is that the previous one had a lot more to do with production choices for the new season, as well as showing off what the Gizmoplex was going to look like. This stream is more devoted to the episode itself, as we have more cast members joining in the discussion, talking about the movie, and the writing experience. I think the last stream was more for people who wanted a production update while the second is just gabbing about the season and teasing the rest of the episodes to come.
Returning from the previous livestream is Joel, Matt, and Rebecca, while performers Jonah Ray, Hampton Yaunt, and Felicia Day are also on call. Felicia actually has to duck out early on, but she is able to answer one question before she goes about stepping into the Kinga character after all this time, comparing it to riding a bike or playing billiards. Jonah takes issue with the billiards comparison, which makes me thing Felicia hustled him at the tables at one time. Jonah is actually being at the show's post production studio, and does a little roundtable with some post crew before signing off to help celebrate them, which would be delightful if they didn't look like they were being held hostage (their eyes say "This man says we can't leave, HELP US!"). Hampton is very quiet throughout most of the stream, and for a while he acts like a deer in headlights every time Matt asks him a question. He loosens up about halfway through, as the cast urges him to do his "gas station" Morgan Freeman voice and just lets loose a few zingers like "The Passion of the Gamera" and "OH NO! SQUID GAME!"
There is looser talk about the writing process than there was in the previous stream, with more thorough details about what goes on in the writer's rooms and who contributes what kind of riff. There is praise for various different writers, who both work onscreen and off, and how they help form what you see on the show. Joel does discuss a bit about how certain riffs are sorted out, though he thinks the fundamental type of riffs for a character despite being played by two different actors stays the same (he uses Crow, being played by Hampton and Kelsey, as an example). One thing he says that I find curious is that he says it's a bit more complicated during his episodes where he is riffing with J. Elvis Weinstein and Conor McGiffin. Now, this is the first bit of news we've heard about who was playing Joel's Bots during his episodes (other than Jonah stating that J. Elvis and Bill Corbett were returning for the episodes on a podcast last year before Bill stated he turned the offer down in an official statement), so the names he drops here are rather curious because they are two actors who play Tom Servo. If you want to get technical, J. Elvis Weinstein played Crow in two episodes of the KTMA season, but I don't think the crew would ask him back to voice Crow. I did assume that Conor and Kelsey Ann Brady (or Nate Begle at the time, but let's not go there) were going to play Joel's Bots simply because they had experience with Joel on the Live tours, but that was far from official confirmation. Bringing up both J. Elvis and Conor in the same statement about the issue raises more questions than answers. Are they both voicing Tom Servo at different points in his episodes? Or is Conor puppeteering while J. Elvis does the voice? Or is it vice versa and did you just toss the puppet into J. Elvis's hands and say "I know it's been thirty years, but do your best." then give him a thumbs up?
That's the one part of the stream I'm stuck on, but I look forward to finding out the answer.
They also discuss the potential of doing longer movies, which Joel shoots down pretty definitively, not wanting the show to wear out its welcome. And, you know, given RiffTrax's history with two hour plus blockbusters, I will say that it's a rare occasion when I'm not checking the time on riffs that run lengthy. The discussion then evolves to why they edit movies down, which Jonah states is to help make the movies less repetitive and to help the joke flow of the episode. They do talk about the one film they weren't allowed to edit this season, Gamera vs. Jiger, and how it could get brutal in the writer's room, though they are optimistic about the final episode, due to debut in July.
They close off by reading off names of some of the larger backers, though it seems a few of them are a bit worn down by this point, coming up with some jokey ways to read names, some of which hit and some of which miss (Hampton's Stone Cold Steve Austin bit drowns and he acknowledges it). Joel even questions how many names they need to read off, because he's not sure how much longer they're running. I wouldn't worry about it, Joel. It's not hard to tune out if you don't want to hear the cast read names.
But those who didn't stay to the end would have missed the verbal confirmation the next premiere livestream of Robot Wars will have a very special guest, the lovely Barbara Crampton! Should we discuss the sexism of that movie, or should we keep the tone light? I guess we'll find out! Until then this was a fun revisit of this first episode of the season with some slight tweaks and more appreciation, though I'm still not hugely enamored with the episode. Let's see how Robot Wars goes down.
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