MST3K, RiffTrax, and Beyond: Cinema Playground Journal 2023: Week 10 (My Cinema Playground)

Multiplex Madness

⭐⭐

Genre: Science Fiction, Adventure, Thriller

Director: Scott Beck, Bryan Woods

Starring: Adam Driver, Arianna Greenblatt

It's Pitch Black with dinosaurs. And no, one of those dinosaurs isn't Vin Diesel. Or one could consider it Planet of Dinosaurs with a budget. Either or. Whatever it is, it's mostly a montage of Adam Driver shooting dinosaurs with a gun. Written and directed by the writers of A Quiet Place, 65 is another high-concept thriller with a core of family to help sell it. A Quiet Place thrived on the latter while holding a tight grip on the suspense of the former. With 65, it seems to be the opposite. The familial story is undercooked and has haphazard focus (it feels like a lot of it was cut out to make the film more action focused). The action scenes look good, but they aren't too exciting. It often feels like Driver is just in video game mode, moving from one boss to the next. If you want dino action from your movie, 65 will deliver its fair share. But it's rare that I see a movie work this hard to entertain and come up with nothing to show for it. The last Jurassic World movie is probably comparable, but at least 65 doesn't exert itself to that level. Because of that, I'm at least thankful that it's as short and to the point as it is. I just wish it were more engaging.

The Magic Flute

⭐⭐

Genre: Fantasy, Musical

Director: Florian Sigl

Starring: Jack Wolfe, Iwen Rheon, Asha Banks, F. Murray Abraham, Amir Wilson, Stéfi Celma, Teddy Teclebrhan, Niamh McCormack, Sabine Devieilhe, Morris Robinson, Ronaldo Villazón

Odd, but strangely endearing in its own way, attempt to blend children's fantasy with classical opera finds a modern day music student sucked up into the fantasy world of Mozart's Magic Flute opera, Neverending Story style. This flick actually hails from Germany, specifically Independence Day helmer Roland Emmerich, who's production company Centropolis shepherded this flick, and if nothing else it's certainly as bold and large-scale as that pedigree would suggest. I not entirely convinced this take works, but it's kinda fun to watch it try. The movie looks very pretty, and the swings are big with a great amount of follow through. I admire the risks this movie takes, it's just kind of silly in a Snow White and the Three Stooges sort of way that it can't shake. The movie is a unique wielding of very specific tropes, I'll give it that. Not just any movie can do that, so it should take pride in it.

Scream VI

⭐⭐1/2

Genre: Horror

Director: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett

Starring: Melissa Barrera, Jenna Ortega, Jasmine Savoy Brown, Mason Gooding, Durmot Mulroney, Hayden Panettiere, Jack Champion, Liana Liberators, Devyn Nekoda, Tony Revolori, Joshes Segarra, Samara Weaving, Courtney Cox

We're long past the point where the Scream franchise has become what it parodied so effectively in 1996, to the point where the "new rules" are starting to sound a lot like the old ones. I'm of two minds about it, because Scream as a franchise feels like it's been running on fumes since Scream 2, and yet playing the guessing game along with each new entry is consistently entertaining. Scream VI boasts about transcending the rules, but the grim reality of it is a lot of what it does apes what the franchise has already done (I'm not going to point out any specific movie because spoilers and such), and because of that I pretty much guessed who the killer was and what their motivations were a half hour in. I feel like I would have been more forgiving of that if there weren't so many death fake-outs in this movie. Scream VI brags about how even its core main characters aren't safe, and gives them big dramatic moments where they probably could kick the bucket, then constantly backs off of it. If nobody is safe, why do so many characters feel protected? The franchise needs to be sharper and probably go for less blood and more guts as it goes forward (take whatever pun you want from that). It's hard to say I didn't have a good time and I'll give it credit for some inventive set-pieces. And Samara Weaving in that dress. It deserves so much credit for that.

Southern Gospel

⭐

Genre: Faith, Drama

Director: Jeffrey A. Smith

Starring: Max Ehrich, Katelyn Nacon, Emma Myers, Gary Weeks

This is the second movie in several weeks that took me by surprise in featuring The Walking Dead's Katelyn Nacon. This one was far less of a pleasant surprise, because I feel like she could have a bright future, but she can do a lot better than this movie. I knew going in that this was going to be a faith movie (there was a near-zero chance it wasn't going to be with this title), and it's about as manipulative as one ever got. The movie begins with a heavy montage of "life is unfair" brutality bullshit spaced out with gospel songs to inspire a redemption arc. The whole rock 'n' roll is the temptation of the Devil being turned into a tool of God as a gospel singer instead left a bad taste in my mouth, especially since the film's message conflicts with what it preaches in its earliest moments about voicing your faith in your own way, even if it is in rock. But that doesn't seem good enough for the movie, because rock has to be a downward spiral because maybe the person who made this saw The Doors or Bohemian Rhapsody or whatever. The dramatic punches are so clumsily heavy that they inspire more of a laugh than a tear, while the rest of the movie is the basic "preach to the choir" nature of very basic faith films, not delivering much of a message (at least not one that narratively works), but saying God and Jesus's name enough times and hoping that's enough.

Art Attack

No Bears

⭐⭐⭐

Genre: Drama

Director: Jahar Panahi

Starring: Jahar Panahi

There are likely few filmmakers today proven to be as ballsy as Jahar Panahi. Everyone says they'll bleed for their work, but few actually get a chance to prove it. Panahi has literally been arrested for it, several times, because his personal work is illegal in his home country of Iran. No Bears is another he has been jailed for, where he paints a dramatized self-portrait of him creating under immense Iranian restriction. No Bears is interesting, but it's more tense in the sense of what his filming means over the actual product itself. Seeing the means it takes to film remotely while also ducking through restrictions kept me engaged, but I don't think the narrative is fully engrossing because he is restricted with what he can actually do. Granted, he does more with very little than I could imagine, and a lot of the natural lighting silhouette shots are beautiful, though I could only claim No Bears is a slight glimpse without being a full picture. I'm grateful for that glimpse though, and it's impressive he was able to paint as complete a picture as he did.

Turn Every Page: The Adventures of Robert Caro and Robert Gottlieb

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Genre: Documentary

Director: Lizzy Gottlieb

Starring: Robert Caro, Robert Gottlieb

This documentary of biographer Robert Caro and his editor Robert Gottlieb is way more entertaining than it has any right to be. It takes a look into the lives of the two Roberts before taking a deep dive into their collaboration for The Power Broker and the Lyndon Johnson biography series, which is filled with flavorful tidbits and sidenotes that keeps it consistently fun and amusing. I'd probably label this a required watch for anyone aspiring to be a writer, because while it doesn't always get into the writer's mind like it probably could, it's a colorful look at the collaborative process a writer has to work with and how perfectionist the ordeal can be. It's also a reminder of egos being left at the door, the importance of listening to notes, but also the challenge of fighting for what you think is best for your own work.

Netflix & Chill

Chang Can Dunk

⭐⭐

Streaming On: Disney+

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Sports

Director: Jingyi Shao

Starring: Bloom Li, Dexter Darden, Ben Wang, Zoe Renee, Chase Liefeld, Mardy Ma

Rather bland tween targeted dramedy features a five-foot-eight high schooler betting his rival that he can dunk a basketball after several weeks of training. The bright side to this movie is that it has messages of sportsmanship, working to achieve, cheating, and the earning of respect in its narrative. It's very inert though, and it doesn't really have the momentum it needs to catch the attention of casual Disney+ viewers, unless they're young ones who are really into sports. After its setup, the movie is just a peppy workout montage that climaxes in the middle, then changes for the more dramatic halfway through. By then I had fully lost interest. It's not a bad movie, just one that doesn't hold a lot of appeal beyond its specific target audience.

Oscar Nominees (bold indicates Best Picture nominee)

Aftersun ⭐⭐⭐1/2

All That Breathes ⭐⭐⭐

All the Beauty and the Bloodshed N/A

All Quiet on the Western Front ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Argentina, 1985 ⭐⭐⭐1/2

Avatar: The Way of Water ⭐⭐⭐1/2

Babylon ⭐⭐

The Banshees of Inisherin ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Bardo, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths N/A

The Batman ⭐⭐⭐

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever ⭐⭐⭐1/2