K12-Fugitive Alien

Film Year:  1987 (compiled from a 1978 TV series)
Genre:  Science Fiction, Adventure
Director:  Kiyosumi Kukazawa, Minoru Kanaya
Starring:  Jou Shishido, Tatsuya Azuma, Miyuki Tanigawa, Choei Takahashi, Tsutomu Yukawa, Hiro Tateyama
MST Season:  KTMA

The Movie

Fugitive Alien is actually a cobbled together movie from episodes of a Japanese television series called Star Wolf.  Interestingly enough, the series is actually based on a trio of American novels from the 1960’s:  The Weapon from Beyond, The Closed Worlds, and World of the Starwolves.  I’m not sure how faithful this series is and would be curious to know just what was taken from these books.

The series was created by Eiji Tsuburaya, the man responsible for the special effects in the original Godzilla films as well as the Ultraman franchise (he was also responsible for the series that was turned into Time of the Apes and Mighty Jack).  As a film, Fugitive Alien is jumbled up and all over the place.  The primary storyline is of Ken, an alien raider called a Star Wolf who refuses to kill a child during an invasion of Earth and is deemed a traitor.  Ken takes refuge on a spaceship commanded by Earthling Captain Joe and his crew, consisting of pilot Rocky and professional love interest Tammy.  The crew begins to suspect Ken’s true nature but slowly learn to trust each other.  And all of this is told in random episodic form.

Considering how incoherent Time of the Apes and Mighty Jack become in this edited for direct to video form, I think Fugitive Alien comes off pretty well.  There is at the very least an arc through the episodes that can be followed and makes a tiny bit of sense.  Whether or not you can make heads or tails of the mythology of Star Wolf is probably the deciding factor on whether or not you enjoy this movie, but to me it’s no more silly than the likes of Battlestar Galactica so I don’t mind it (and I assure you that I like Galactica).

For me the Japanese special effects, while done on time constraints and low budget, always add charm to projects like this.  Fugitive Alien’s do admittedly look fake for the most part, but I really dig the aesthetic style Japanese genre program in offers.  Whether that makes me impartial enough to judge Fugitive Alien is anybody’s guess, but I dig it.

The Episode

Following absences in Invaders from the Deep, Gamera, and Gamera vs. Gaos, we have yet another episode without Trace in this KTMA season of our beloved series.  This episode comes up with a fairly amusing idea for Crow's departure as Servo and Gypsy have dismantled the poor bot in an attempt to install a popcorn maker inside of him.  The curious way this plays out during the episode keeps things fun, as Joel inquires about Crow's absence in the first theater segment causing Servo to evade the question leading up to the conclusion in the following host segment.  Meanwhile Dr. Forrester is also absent, attending a Mad Scientist Convention.

The one note I have about the riffing during this KTMA take on the original Fugitive Alien is that Joel and Josh are very chatty.  They seem to have no qualms in talking over the movie at every instance, even when the movie is trying to give it's own exposition.  Truth be told it becomes chaotic and hard to follow one or the other.  However as I note above I have quite the fondness for this movie, which makes the theater segments enjoyable nevertheless.

While I can't think of any riffs that actually made me laugh out loud, and other than the dismantling of Crow the host segments fail to generate much enthusiasm, I do feel like I need to critique on something of a grading curve when it comes to KTMA episodes.  With Fugitive Alien I was constantly amused, even if I didn't laugh very much.  I enjoyed the movie and the riffing at the very least tries out volume, so you can't say it shortchanged you.  The one issue is that the third season riff of Fugitive Alien makes this effort look shabby by comparison, but I don't feel I should shame it for not being the standard three years later.

Good

611-Last of the Wild Horses

Film Year:  1948
Genre:  Western
Director:  Robert L. Lippert
Starring:  James Ellison, Mary Beth Hughes, Jane Frazee, Douglass Dumbrille
MST Season:  6

The Movie

The sole directing credit of cheapie film producer and MST legend Robert Lippert, word says Lippert "fired" himself for failing at his own schedule.  The film was reportedly finished on schedule by Paul Landres and Lippert never tried to direct again.

And that is probably the most interesting thing I could say about Last of the Wild Horses, as trite and unremarkable a western as has ever been made.  The story involves an outlaw turned rancher named Duke (insert obligatory "Not John Wayne" joke here) who gets caught up in a property war of horses.  When other ranchers are killed over this, Duke is framed for their murder.

According to the opening credits this movie was originally released in a sepia tone color, which is a brownish tint that you'd see in a lot of old photographs.  The print in this episode is plain black and white.  I find this unfortunate, because at least a sepia tone would have given the film some sort of flavor, and now it's drained of what little personality it might have offered.  What's left is pretty much a western for the sake of a western, full of actors talking in drawl and playing cowboy.  There is nothing interesting here.  It meanders and despite this we never feel any sort of knowledge of the characters, who just feel like they're meandering as well instead of, you know, developing or something.  As a result it's hard for me to root for the good guys or give two shits about the bad guys maybe winning.

It's a film made for the crowd that would buy a western no matter what it might be, and to those who do so I can safely say Last of the Wild Horses isn't the worst thing I've ever seen.  It's just not interesting.  It's the base definition of a motion picture in that it's just a picture in motion that you can watch.  If that's enough then by all means, put on your cowboy hat and grab your toy gun and enjoy.

The Episode

"Hey Frank!  Someone left us an Agony Booth!"

Forgiving the fact that the movie is fairly unremarkable this week, this episode of Mystery Science Theater makes up with their own personality by turning to Star Trek for inspiration on its host segments, specifically the original series episode Mirror, Mirror, which saw the introduction of the Mirror Universe alternate dimension where all our beloved characters were evil...EEEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!  Incidentally this episode was produced the same year that the Mirror Universe was reintroduced into Trek lore via Deep Space Nine.  Whether that DS9 storyline had any influence on this episode is unknown to me, but it's a fun little asterisk to this episode.

This episode sees the Mads sending a Matter Transference Device up to the Satellite of Love during an ion storm, and the resulting malfunction sends Servo and Gypsy into an alternate dimension where their counterparts, as well as Mike and Crow, are the mad scientists and Dr. Forrester and Frank are the test subjects.  The fun little aside here is that Dr. F and Frank sit in the theater for the first theater segment and give us a glimpse of the riffing chemistry they'd be known for in their later years during Cinematic Titanic and The Mads Are Back.  Trace and Frank are pretty fun here, though if I were to put a damper on this I'd say they never build up any riff momentum, which may be the result of them only riffing a tiny fraction of the film.  The rest takes place in our universe and the riffing is done by Mike and Crow, with Mirror Tom Servo at their side for the mid segments and normal Servo for the finale.  There is not much of a difference between the riffing styles of Mirror Servo and normal Servo, so this change of pace isn't really a change at all.  In fact Mirror Servo seems very accepting of being in the theater, surprisingly.

Talking more about the riffing, the great thing about this movie is that it has no genuine attributes of any kind.  Except for cowboy hats.  The beauty of riffing Last of the Wild Horses is that you can inflict your own brand of comedy upon it and it will most likely stick, because it's desperate for something distinguishable about it.  The riffs keep things playful and silly, which proves to be a great counterweight for the unremarkable.  While I always struggle to remember the film itself, I always remember laughing quite a bit at it.

As a result most tend to remember this episode squarely for the host segments and the fact that Frank riffs with Dr. Forrester for about fifteen minutes.  I'd say that might be a tad bit of a disservice to this fine episode.  Sure, there's a certain forgettable nature to the movie featured, but the laughter is quite strong with this one.  And if you struggle to remember it, the laughs just might always feel fresh the next time you watch it as well.  I find myself loving this episode every time I watch it.

Classic

The DVD

Shout Factory released the Wild Horses on their Volume XXIII set.  The video is flawed, especially during the third theater segment, though I didn't find it too bothersome since for a while I was under the impression that it might have been the master for the film itself.  Audio is stable though.  The only special features are promos Best Brains created for the series, all of which look as if they were filmed during production of the episodes themselves.  The promos range from season three to five and are mostly pretty funny.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XXXVIII DVD Retrospective

Release Date:  March 28th, 2017

Buy Here!

Features the following episodes:
Invasion U.S.A.
Colossus and the Headhunters
High School Big Shot
Track of the Moon Beast

Also featuring:
Play MSTie for Me "Triple Decker"

By Volume XXXVIII of Mystery Science Theater's DVD releases we've found we've hit a brick wall with Joel era episodes that can be released on DVD.  While there are still a handful left, rights issues have become a bit of a bitch.  As a result we have our first all-Mike volume of the series since Rhino released the all-Sci-Fi era Volume 5.  We get a bit of a feeling that the sixth season has been underrepresented up until this point as three of the four slots are filled with episodes from that season, while the final slot belongs to an episode from the tenth season.

As for episode quality, this set is fair.  High School Big Shot I think is the easy winner here, though bringing it down are host segments that under-perform and a lackluster short.  Colossus and the Headhunters is also a solid episode for your collection, though I don't think it's quite a standout either.  With those in mind, Invasion U.S.A. and Track of the Moon Beast are not favorites of mine, though I favor Invasion of the duo.  One thing that needs to be kept in mind is that Moon Beast has a cult following, which means some would say the volume is worth owning for that episode alone.  I don't abide by that, but I encourage all to find what episodes they respond to themselves.  I just offer a small guide of ones I recommend over others.

If you ordered through Shout Factory's website the first 1,500 orders received a bonus disc featuring all three volumes of Play MSTie for Me, a compilation of music from the series.  Whether or not you're interested in this depends greatly on how much you like the songs on the show.

Episode Rating (episodes only, out of four):  2.25

The good news is that the audio and video of the four episodes feature good quality.  The minor note on this is the Play MSTie for Me disc, which is sourced from weaker masters than the episodes themselves.  But there is nothing really to complain about here.

Collectors of the films featured on the show will be happy to know that High School Big Shot is here in its uncut glory as a bonus feature.  Interviews include Track of the Moon Beast actress Leigh Drake while Joel Hodgson does a retrospective on Mike Nelson, which is a fun inclusion to this all-Mike set.  If that's not enough for you there is also a documentary on the career of Albert Zugsmith, producer of Invasion U.S.A., which is my pick for centerpiece of the set.  Closing up the bonus features are trailers for Invasion U.S.A. and High School Big Shot.

The box art is Shout's stock cover for MST sets, which feature the logo in the upper left hand corner and the theater silhouettes at the bottom looking up at the volume number, which is painted in pink this time.  The interior art is always where the effort is, which features four new slim cases with art by Steve Vance.  Invasion U.S.A. has Crow and Servo dressed up as a man and a woman looking up at a World War III air raid as the city burns behind them.  Colossus and the Headhunters has Crow as Maceste and Servo as a female warrior fighting an army of spears.  High School Big Shot features Crow as Marv and Servo as Betty as they crack open a safe and steal "A MILLION BUCKS!"  Track of the Moon Beast is the coolest, which features an Incredible Hulk style face split with Servo as Paul on one side and the Moon Beast on the other.  Crow is dressed as Kathy and looks up at him while holding a camera, and if you listen real close you can hear him say "Moon rocks?  Oh wow!"  The Play MSTie for Me disc is housed in a slim case separate from the set, which features the stock bonus disc artwork of the logo and the silhouettes looking up at a movie ticket with the title.

The disc art is also standard, just a starry backdrop with stylized logos of the episode titles.  But the disc menus are less fun than usual, and they still utilize the puppet theme of the last few sets but are almost all too basic and similar to leave any sort of impression.  Invasion U.S.A. has Dr. Forrester, Frank, and Nummy Muffin Coolcol Butter eating breakfast while Mike and the Bots riff away from theater seats on the bottom.  Colossus and the Headhunters features Frank upset at the absence of Nummy Muffic Coolcol Butter and Mike and the Bots riffing on it.  High School Big Shot features Frank losing a dinosaur and turning on the movie for the riffers, but mostly consists of Servo singing the "High School Big Shot Theme."  The one menu that stands out is the Track of the Moon Beast one, which features Crow and Servo with "The Fish Lips Guy" singing California Lady.

There is a feeling that a lot of barrel bottoms are being scraped for Volume XXXVIII.  Not only are episode releases of the classic series on their last legs, but even watching the interview with Joel on Mike he revisits a lot of information we've already heard before, meanwhile even things such as menus just feel stale.  I'm not saying this isn't a set to own, as there are laughs to be had, though this wouldn't be the first set on my list if I were behind on them.  I think the one thing about this set that might shoot it to the top of the "must own" heap is whether or not you treasure Track of the Moon Beast.  Unfortunately I don't, so this one doesn't quite come recommended from me due to a lack of must own episodes and genuinely substantial bonus features.

Play MSTie for Me "Triple Decker" (MST3K Special)

Mystery Science Theater 3000 could be a very musical series when it wanted to be.  Nothing too lavish, but more in that Sesame Street kind of way.  The simplistic nature of the show gave birth to simplistic songs that were often very funny.  Best Brains capitalized on their surprisingly abundant musical nature by releasing three VHS tapes in 1991, 1994, and 2000 that compiled musical host segments together.  And in 2017 Shout Factory transferred these musical compilations to DVD as a limited bonus disc with their Volume XXXVIII set.  I'm going to review these as one entity, since splitting them up into separate sections seems redundant.  While I am an attention whore seeking as many page hits as possible, that would be a bit too transparent even for me.

The first volume covers seasons two and three of the series (I don't believe there were any songs during KTMA or Season 1, though I could be wrong) and it features some fan favorites such as Creepy Girl, Clown in the Sky, and A Patrick Swayze Christmas.  If I were to single out any under-the-radar personal favorites in this batch, I've always felt an attachment to the Wild Rebels Cereal jingle and Sidehackin'.  Michael Feinstein's music is a fairly quality segment as well.

Full list of songs featured in Volume 1:
"Sidehackin'" (The Side Hackers)
"Creepy Girl" (Catalina Caper)
"If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" (Ring of Terror)
"Wild Rebels Cereal" (Wild Rebels)
"Tibby, Oh Tibby" (Gamera)
"Clown in the Sky" (Pod People)
"Sandy Frank" (Time of the Apes)
"A Michael Feinstein Gamera" (Gamera vs. Guiron)
"Slow the Plot Down" (Mighty Jack)
"The Many Tunes of Gamera" (Gamera vs. Zigra)
"The Waffle Song" (The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent)
"A Patrick Swayze Christmas" (Santa Claus Conquers the Martians)

Volume 2 relies heavily on the Mike years, with the only piece of music from the Joel era being Crow's off-key ode to Kim Cattrall.  It might be noteworthy that "Master Ninja Theme Song" is skipped between this volume and the last, but it can be argued that it's barely a song at all, so it's not a huge loss.  However, since this volume is the last to cover songs from the Comedy Central years of the franchise, the most glaring omission is Dr. Forrester's song from Samson vs. the Vampire Women, Who Will I Kill?  The primary reason for it not being here is that this compilation was released before the episode was filmed, but it leaves a void in this collection of songs that Volume 3 didn't rectify.

I think most will agree with me that the highlight of this compilation is The Greatest Frank of All, which was used in a show as an ode to TV's Frank but also doubled as a tribute to Frank Zappa, who had recently passed away.  It's a step above most songs featured on the show and it's definitely one of the best.  Songs I also quite enjoy:  The Janitor Song, My Wild Irish Ireland, Whispering Christmas Warrior, Cosmic Freight Train, and Square Dance.

Full list of songs featured in Volume 2:
"Oh, Kim Cattrall" (City Limits)
"The Janitor Song" (Teen-Age Strangler)
"My Wild Irish Ireland" (Alien from L.A.)
"Tubular Boobular Joy" (Outlaw)
"TV's Frank & Dr. Forrester" (Outlaw)
"Whispering Christmas Warrior" (Santa Claus)
"Merry Christmas, If That's O.K." (Santa Claus)
"Doughy Guys" (Teen-Age Crime Wave)
"Mystos" (Teen-Age Crime Wave)
"The Greatest Frank of All" (Village of the Giants)
"Cosmic Freight Train" (The Dead Talk Back)
"Nummy Muffin Coolcol Butter" (Colossus and the Headhunters)
"Square Dance" (Bloodlust)

As said above, Volume 3 completely skips Who Will I Kill? and chooses to concentrate on music from the Sci-Fi era of the show.  While to an extent I understand why they would feel the need to, the problem is that a lot of these songs are barely songs at all.  The mutants singing to the bomb, AM County in Space, Digger Smolken, and the song about the Hobgoblins are technically music, but are obviously used as filler as opposed to actually being actual songs.  Also filler is the Band that Played "California Lady" segment, which isn't a song at all but rather a segment about a song from the movie.  The removal of any of these segments and inclusion of Who Will I Kill? would have been more than welcome.

With all the filler of "Songs that are not really songs" in this volume it's definitely the longest of the three volumes.  The first two ran about 25 minutes each, while Volume 3 runs closer to 40.  Despite wading through some "Why is this here?" material some of the best songs of the entire series are in this collection, including favorites of mine such as Where Oh Werewolf? and To Earth.  Most will be dying to watch The Canada Song  and When Loving Lovers Love at their leisure without watching an entire episode to get to each.  I also have to give shout-outs to fun numbers such as When I Held Your Brain in My Arms, Please Staaay, and Air on a Delta Knight.

Full list of songs featured in Volume 3:
"The Bomb Song" (The Deadly Mantis)
"AM Country in Space" (The Deadly Mantis)
"The Best of Digger Smolken" (The Undead)
"When I Held Your Brain in My Arms" (Terror from the Year 5000)
"The 70's Song" (Riding with Death)
"Sodium!" (The Horror of Party Beach)
"When Loving Lovers Love" (Overdrawn at the Memory Bank)
"Where Oh Werewolf?" (Werewolf)
"A Sonnet for Lady Hargrove" (The Deadly Bees)
"Please Staaay" (The Deadly Bees)
"Hobgoblins" (Hobgoblins)
"The Canada Song" (The Final Sacrifice)
"Air on a Delta Knight" (Quest of the Delta Knights)
"The Rain Song" (Girl in Gold Boots)
"The Band that Played 'California Lady'" (Track of the Moon Beast)
"To Earth" (Diabolik)

In conclusion these compilations are great to have for those who treasure the music featured on the series.  The downside is that Who Will I Kill? is completely skipped, making this far from a complete collection of songs.  While not quite as big an omission, Master Ninja Theme Song is a bit of a disappointing absence as well when you consider the other segments that made the cut.  But these are fun compilations to have if the mood strikes you.

The DVD

As mentioned above, Shout Factory released these three volumes as an online exclusive with their Volume XXXVIII.  Each transfer seems mastered from their VHS source as opposed to being straight from the episodes, though the audio is pretty swell.  There are no bonus features.

605-Colossus and the Headhunters

Film Year:  1963

Genre:  Fantasy, Adventure

Director:  Guido Malatesta

Starring:  Kirk Morris, Laura Brown, Alfredo Zammi

MST Season:  6

The Movie

Colossus and the Headhunters is the second Maciste film featured on Mystery Science Theater, after Hercules Against the Moon Men (which was turned into a Hercules film hoping Herc would sell more tickets).  Despite the title dubbing him "Colossus," Maciste keeps his birth name in this picture, which sees his home island destroyed as he and his people emerge from the ocean in the middle of a war between a beautiful Queen's village and a tribe of headhunters.

Seeing Maciste is an Italian film legacy that is being influenced by the Hercules films, one might hope Colossus and the Headhunters might take some notes in amusement from the popular Herc series.  This film has sequences of swordplay, but they lack imagination and are stiff and uninspired.  Maciste uses his great strength to give bear hugs, but doesn't really do a lot in the film, truth be told.  The movie just isn't that exciting.

Italian adventure films feel like they should have more flavor than this, and Colossus just doesn't leave any sort of impression at all.  If I were to describe the movie as anything I'd say it's one of those movies you could watch, but would text on your phone the entire time and forget watched it ten minutes after it ended.

The Episode

Colossus and the Headhunters at first glance is a fairly middling episode, though that might not be giving it enough credit.  For a movie that's pretty much an honorary Hercules movie it's really not that fun and for the most part Mike and the Bots have their work cut out for them on making it something watchable.  The movie resists by being a chore, though the riffing mood is suitably goofy.  Even if a joke doesn't land, they succeed in making the air in the theater a bit less stuffy.  The jokes that do land are howlers, and while Colossus isn't a laugh riot it succeeds in being an episode that will put a smile on your face.

The host segments stay goofy as well, with a subplot devoted to Dr. Forrester sending a genetically engineered pet named Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter up to the Satellite of Love, leaving Frank heartbroken for he desires to keep Nummy as his own pet.  Personally I find the idea behind these segments to be cute, but I don't think they had the juice in them to breathe an arc into the entire episode.  This feels like it should have been the opening skit at minimum or two segments at max.  It's stretched very thin and most of the jokes are exactly the same.

I can't say a whole lot about this episode because it doesn't inspire much of a reaction from me.  The movie is a waste of an Italian fantasy, the riffing gets the job done, and the host segments are tiring.  It's a good episode to watch, though I don't revisit it that often.

Good

The DVD

This episode was brought to us by Shout Factory as a part of their Volume XXXVIII collection.  The picture had minor flaws, though the audio was good.  The only bonus feature is called "Mike, by Joel" which has Joel discuss Mike's role on the show and how he came to be his replacement.  Joel shares some neat little tidbits, such as his personal choice to take over for him was Bridget, and it's interesting to hear him talk about his successor.  This feature does strike me as a minor missed opportunity in that it might have been more interesting to have a back and forth between Joel and Mike together over their duties on hosting the show, but what we have here is solid.

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (Rifftrax)

Film Year:  2017
Genre:  Fantasy, Science Fiction
Director:  Rian Johnson
Starring:  PORGS!  Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Kelly Marie Tran, Laura Dern, Benicio del Toro, Domhnall Gleeson, Lupita Nyong'o, Anthony Daniels, Gwendoline Christie
Rifftrax Year:  2018
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

The Movie

*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*

Boy I'll tell you, in the aftermath of this movie's release I've never been prouder to consider myself NOT a Star Wars fan.  All the public hate mail and death threats, and you couldn't even mention anything Star Wars related without someone crying about how much they hate Rian Johnson.

This movie, which is somehow considered the worst Star Wars movie ever despite being, you know, really fucking good, takes place immediately after The Force Awakens.  Rey has tracked down Luke Skywalker, who has turned his back on the Jedi faith and wants no part in the renewed war between the New Republic and the First Order.  Disappointed with the Jedi Master, she soon discovers she has a connection with Kylo Ren through the Force and they begin to bond.  Meanwhile the First Order tracks a Rebel fleet through lightspeed and chases them through space.  Running out of fuel and time, Poe and a maintenance worker named Rose seek to infiltrate the enemy vessels to gain a means for the Rebels to escape.

What can I say about this movie except I thought it was pretty good?  If you were to force me at gunpoint to cite a favorite Star Wars movie, I'd probably consider Last Jedi a solid second after Empire.  I find this one a solid character piece, where characters find themselves cornered by the worst of their own actions and are forced to overcome them.  It's a refreshing entry in the saga which is more or less just dominated by Mary Sues and special effects.  The latter of which are still present, and The Last Jedi is just as visually appealing as the best of any Star Wars film.  Sometimes even more so.

I could claim a few things about it that don't live up.  In the end I find Finn and Rose's subplot to be a redundant detour that does little other than give them something to do.  I find the Laura Dern storyline frustrating, because so many of the problems being faced would have been fixed if she had just said a damn word, but instead she stays silent for no reason other than plot contrivance.  But other than that, I don't really have much of a bad word to say about this film.  I enjoy it throughout it's runtime, and it might wind up being a Star Wars movie I'll pop in on a rainy day.

I don't know, this seems like a viscous, endless cycle.  Return of the Jedi came out and it ruined Star Wars.  Then Phantom Menace came out and it ruined Star Wars.  Then the other prequels came out and the prequels in general ruined Star Wars.  Then Disney bought Star Wars and then Disney ruined Star Wars.  I wouldn't be surprised to read tomorrow that the famous "I am you father" line from Empire was initially thought to ruin Star Wars way back in 1980 either.  Now The Last Jedi is the latest thing that has ruined Star Wars.  How can every entry ruin a franchise?  Maybe Star Wars just isn't that good in the first place.

The only thing I can say for certain as an outsider is that when The Last Jedi ended I had a desire to see this film a second time in a theater.  I have never had that reaction to a Star Wars film.  To me that counts for something.

The Trax

For a good long while the Rifftrax for The Last Jedi doesn't have a lot going for it.  Most of it is filled with safe jokes (yes, there are plenty of Green Milk riffs) with an occasional pop culture reference thrown in whether it fits or not.  Sometimes the jokes come out of left field, like Yoda bringing up his corkscrew penis for some reason.  There are points in which I laughed during this riff but for the most part it felt like dead air.  For example, I didn't laugh at Yoda's corkscrew penis, but I did laugh when they snuck in "Wanna see?" immediately afterward.  That's an example of a joke that didn't land but they saved at the last minute due to an immediate insert with great comedic timing.

"Wait, her parents sold her for drinking money?!  They are BY FAR the most interesting characters in the Star Wars universe!"
"Hell yeah!  I wanna party with them!"
"Put them on screen!"

When we hit the third act of the film suddenly there seems to be a fire lit under their asses and they seem to be delivering more quality material.  Laughter comes more frequently and at a great pace, especially in the scenes between Rey, Kylo Ren, and Snoke.  The finale battle is no slouch either, as there are plenty of great gutbusters at the planet that's almost as salty as the fans who watched this movie.

"Salt!  It looks like ice, therefor you can slide across it!"

But I can't really consider this a good riff overall.  Much like Attack of the Clones it gets bogged down by the length of the movie, but unlike Clones the laughs aren't spread throughout.  This riff just takes way too long to get going, making this latest Star Wars release a disappointment.

Average

Going Steady? (Rifftrax Shorts)

Rifftrax Year:  2009
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

Going Steady?

Well...ARE you?

This short tells the tale of two teens who find each other totally keen and date constantly.  But...are they going steady?  And even if they were, should they be freaked out about it?  Even if the answer is yes, they're going to be anyway.  Monogamy is for chumps.

I'm not entirely sure what the point of this short is.  Perhaps it's trying to verbalize the complex feelings teenagers might have over dating and the possibility of seeing only one person as opposed to many.  Maybe it just seems so much simpler in my adult years, but it feels like this is making a simple situation more complex than it needs to be.  In fact, it almost seems to be warning teens against going steady at times, making me think this short was put together by swinging bachelors trying to promote as much meaningless casual sex as they possibly can.

But the short has a 50's quaintness to it, which means Mike, Kevin, and Bill are here to dirty it up the best they can.  They take the verbal thoughts and lectures and twist them into something less innocent, such as a father learning his son might be going steady to which Mike has him respond "Well, I always figured you were a fruit."

The riffing makes this dated short fairly delightful.  Going Steady? turns a simple situation more complicated than it needs to be while the boys at Rifftrax deconstruct that complication and make us laugh about it.

Thumbs Up

👍

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Rifftrax)

Film Year:  2016
Genre:  Fantasy, Science Fiction
Director:  Gareth Edwards
Starring:  Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Ben Mendelsohn, Donnie Yen, Mads Mikkelsen, Alan Tudyk, Jiang Wen, Forrest Whitaker, James Earl Jones
Rifftrax Year:  2017
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

The Movie

*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*

So Disney wants to crank out one Star Wars movie a year because the franchise wasn't whored out enough yet.  Eh, sure.  Whatever.

Rogue One is the first of the Star Wars Anthology films that take place outside of the main franchise storyline of unfair stuff happening to whiny guys named Skywalker.  Taking place just before the original Star Wars, the main character of this story is Jyn Erso, the daughter of the man who designed the Death Star.  Jyn finds herself among the rebels who coincidentally bump into her father, who informs them of the (now intentional) flaw in the Death Star.  They then set off on a mission to steal the plans to the Death Star and set in motion "Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're our only hope."

Something about Rogue One never really set right with me.  I thought it was a fine movie, but something about it always nagged at me.  But it really struck me upon this rewatch of Rogue One that this very much feels like a Star Wars movie targeted at the Young Adult crowd who were more likely to watch The Hunger Games or The Maze Runner.  Nothing really happens for long periods of time, then a lot of coincidences and melodramatics come into play, pushing into action characters who's defining character traits are how pouty they look.  But if our pouty-faced lead is Felicity Jones then I can live with that.

Gareth Edwards is a director I root for.  His visual style is beautiful, though his storytelling does tend to need work.  I loved Monsters mostly, though its prologue to ending link makes the movie feel a tad sour in retrospect.  The 2014 Godzilla reboot did a lot of things correctly, though using the title beast as a plot device to chase off bad monsters without really having much of a role in the story robbed the King of the Monsters of his screen presence.  Rogue One on the other hand is unfortunately dull for a long period of time until it's climactic action scene, which is spectacular as hell.  Edwards has a great blockbuster in him, I just don't think he has come close to delivering it yet.

I don't want to be too harsh on Rogue One, because the film is serviceable enough.  I find it mostly forgettable and a bit boring.  And boring is the last thing I want to think of a film with Alan Tudyk playing a smartass, homicidal droid.

The Trax

Rifftrax continues a winning streak for the relaunched Star Wars.  This prequel nobody asked for opens itself up wide for a ribbing.  While I don't think there were nearly as many laugh out loud moments as The Force Awakens, Rogue One proves to be a riff that constantly amuses for all two hours of its runtime.

The film itself is grimmer and grittier than the average Star Wars film, which in a way makes it a perfect target.  Mike, Kevin, and Bill always seem to work best against movies that take themselves deadly seriously, and Rogue One is probably the most serious Star Wars film of the pack.  Even better, because it's a serious film that takes place in the Star Wars universe it has a tendency to take it's own absurd imagery seriously.  The best quips the riffers lay out against this movie point this out, as the trio tends to not suspend their disbelief enough for it to work.

"Did I just see a bullfrog plant a high explosive?"

The Force is strong with this Rogue One riff.  This is a mostly dry film and if the riff failed then this one could have been excruciating.  Instead laughs are easy to come by and Rogue One earns it's existence in the Star Wars canon based on the fact that it made for a pretty good riff by the masters.

Good

The Frustrating Fours and Fascinating Fives (Rifftrax Shorts)

Rifftrax Year:  2014
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

If you thought it stopped at the Terrible Twos this short is here to set you straight!  Journey as we look a little Johnny turning four and acting like a spoiled brat.  Here he hogs his toys, gets in the way, and pushes his cousin around.  Later we venture as Johnny turns five and begins to be more inquisitive, making more of an active attempt to learn how the world works.  Unfortunately he'll learn all the brutal stuff way too late.

This short film is geared toward parents and attempts to let them know that certain phases in a child's life won't last and needed to be guided through.  It works for the most part, though times have obviously changed since it was filmed.  But it's a fascinating capsule look into 50's parenting.

Mike, Kevin, and Bill really embrace that capsule and they usually play up the old-timey-ness or infuse it with a more modern take.  The results are usually quite hilarious.  One part that caused me to roll with laughter was when the short pointed out the father was refraining from beating his child, to which Bill responds "The important thing is that he CONSIDERED the beating!"

This short is pretty much non-stop laughs at parenting and bratty kids all the way through.  I'd dare say it's one of the funniest shorts in Rifftrax's catalog.

Thumbs Up

👍

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (Rifftrax)

Film Year:  2015
Genre:  Fantasy, Science Fiction
Director:  J.J. Abrams
Starring:  MORE MARK HAMILL THAN YOU COULD EVER DREAM, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Adam Driver, Lupita Nyong'o, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, Max von Sydow
Rifftrax Year:  2016
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

The Movie

We thought we were in the clear.  We thought we had heard all the fan moaning and bitching we were going to hear with each successive Star Wars movie and all of it would be in fading retrospect.  Oh what fools we were.

Thank you so fucking much Disney for starting this bullshit all over again.  Enjoy you're billions of dollars while we're neck deep in flamewars.

Star Wars is back and this time Lucas isn't at the helm, so maybe it's more coherent?  I wouldn't bet on that, but in this latest "episode" we find out that the remains of the Empire have regrouped as the First Order and somehow they have constructed a full planet into an even bigger Death Star called the Starkiller Base.  This thing drains the energy from stars and wipes out entire star systems in one go (though arguably if they could drain stars then they wouldn't need to blow up planets, because those planets would die pretty much instantly).  It's up to a hermit named Mary Sue...er...Rey to team up with a runaway Storm Trooper named Finn and the legendary Han Solo to help the Rebels...sigh...destroy another Death Star.  They also search for the missing Luke Skywalker to help unite the Rebels against the First Order.

Repetition is the name of the game here.  I gave a lot of shit to Return of the Jedi for rehashing previous elements from Star Wars films, but The Force Awakens takes it the next level.  Pretty much the ENTIRE MOVIE is just the first Star Wars movie in much flashier packaging.  After a while it grows quite tiresome because it has no real surprises in store for us.  Some claim this is a strength, as it reminded us of why we loved the original films while forgetting the prequels, though others state the entire movie is redundant.

I'm going neutral on this and saying they're both right.  If I had a bigger stake in the Star Wars universe I'd pick a side, but I don't and I don't care.

The one thing I will say about this movie is that director J.J. Abrams at the very least knows how to craft an exciting movie.  The film looks beautiful and the action is spellbinding, and the mixture of practical effects to CGI is perfect.  The acting is also for the most part very good, probably the best we've seen in a Star Wars movie yet (or at the very least as good as the acting in Empire), but that's could probably be attributed to the fact that the actors aren't saying Lucas-ian dialogue.

But the key difference between this movie and Return of the Jedi for me is that at no point was I ever annoyed with it.  I had fun watching it pretty much from beginning to end, even if I wasn't entirely into it's retread of a story.  If that's what a movie offers, I'll take it.  The Force Awakens isn't the best Star Wars movie, but at the very least it's a stepping stone to what a Star Wars movie should aspire to be.

The Trax

"Let's grab my paycheck and get out of here."

Time away from the Star Wars franchise has done our riffers good.  As this franchise returns to prominence they seem to be approaching it with a renewed swagger that for the most part was missing from their last few Star Wars riffs.  The movie is a blast to watch and the riffs wisely emphasize that to create an amusing commentary.

I think that for the most part the new cast and crew for the film are helping keep the riff fresh, because after a while all of the Lucas-isms become tiresome.  The new characters provide some fun new things to poke at.  Kylo Ren is a highlight, as the temperamental Sith seems to amuse them.  Rey, Finn, and Poe inspire some fun material as well.  Mike, Kevin, and Bill also have fun with the script, which at times reduces to just running and shouting inaudibly.

Mirroring the film itself, The Force Awakens doesn't reinvent the wheel when it comes to the riffing artform.  It's just a consistent example of a fun bit of comedy.  As a result it becomes one of the best Star Wars riffs yet.

Good

Act Your Age (Rifftrax Shorts)

Rifftrax Year:  2008

Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

Jim is caught vandalizing a school desk and sent to the principal's office.  The overly enthusiastic principal then has a discussion with Jim about adults acting like children and asks him what he thinks would help him act his age.  Jim then devises a chart that will judge how old he acts and how to improve on it.

Personally I don't think the chart works.  It said my real age is 107!

This is more or less an over simplified-behavior modifier, trying to boil down human emotions and anxiety into one simply acting like a baby.  In reality it's more complicated than that and simply saying "Act your age!" isn't really going to help.  That said, the short has a non-judgmental calmness about it, presenting its by showing extreme examples of temper tantrums and saying "Well would you look at that."  However the moral stretches itself a bit too thin when it does something such as presenting a girl who is supposedly worried about something then is called on in class for a question she doesn't know the answer to.  To say this girl is simply not acting her age is judgmental nonsense, because we really don't know what stress she's dealing with.

Mike, Kevin, and Bill don't really question the short like I am, but seem to enjoy how visual it is.  A lot of the pantomime temper throwing provide great opportunities for them to offer a dub that enhances the humor, and they take great advantage of it.  They also love the old-timey quaintness of the short, having fun with it's laid back nature.  And of course, when they see a person with authority sporting a mustache there are mustache jokes up the wazoo.  This short is a delight, and very fun.  It's well worth having in your collection.

Thumbs Up

👍

Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (Rifftrax)

Film Year:  1983 (riff of the 2004 DVD version)
Genre:  Fantasy, Science Fiction
Director:  Richard Marquand
Starring:  Jabba the Hut and his obnoxious friends, Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, James Earl Jones, Ian McDiarmid, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Peter Mayhew, Warwick Davis, Frank Oz, Alec Guinness, Sebastian Shaw, special guest star Hayden Christensen
Rifftrax Year:  2010
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

The Movie

*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*

In this initial finale to the Star Wars franchise, Luke, Leia, and Lando rescue Han from space gangster Jabba the Hut's intergalactic orgy.  They then discover the Empire has rebuilt the Death Star and seek to destroy it...again.  What does this have to do with Ewoks?  Well...you see...shut up, that's what.

Whew boy, this one annoys me.  Even it's original version Return of the Jedi is easily the weakest of the original trilogy, though probably better than some of the prequels.  But every time George Lucas alters this movie he seems to be actively trying to make it more obnoxious.  The sequence at Jabba's palace was already not a favorite scene of mine, but the version in print now with the unnecessary musical number is so unbearable that whenever I try to watch this movie I can't finish it.  I'll take Jar Jar any day over that.

But even if I were to judge this movie on the basis of what it originally was, I don't really consider it a strong sequel.  I already mentioned how the Jabba scenes push my buttons, but when you get right down to it the whole sequence is a diversion that has nothing to do with anything.  It's only there to pay off a lingering thread from the previous film, and the end result is neither fun nor exciting.  Then when we get into the meat of the film we find that this "epic" finale isn't really epic at all.  The battle on Endor doesn't feel as if it's conclusive of anything, and when the film ends I don't really see why the Empire was defeated.  Sure the Emperor is dead, but at no point does this really feel like a conclusive battle to the war.  Even worse it begins rehashing scenes from the previous films, as now we have a second Death Star to blow up (just in a more spectacular fashion) and Luke goes face to face with Vader again, only this time with the Emperor cackling at him in the background.

But that latter storyline is really the only thing this film has going for it.  The scenes between Luke, Vader, and the Emperor are the only portions of the film that feel genuine and interesting.  But I have no interest in visiting a two-hour plus film for about twenty minutes of good material.

The Trax

Initially thought to be Rifftrax's final Star Wars riff, those poor dopes, I still call foul that they never riffed the Clone Wars movie.  But I'd enjoy revisiting that even less than I do Return of the Jedi, so maybe that's a good thing.

But if this were to be the final Star Wars riff, it's a bit of a slight whimper to go out on.  I'd say I enjoyed it more than the Empire riff, but it does feel as if they riffed this movie because they felt they had to, due to riffing all of the others.  There doesn't seem to be much of a desire in wanting to.  The majority of the riff seems to be made up of generic safe material in an attempt to get the experience over with.  There are very few lines that stand out, though when inspiration hits then the laugh is well earned.

"What Star Wars teaches us about death:  It's only tragic when it happens to cute things, other than that IT'S HILARIOUS!"

That's not to say it's a bad riff, just a mediocre one.  Amusement level is steady but low key.  This riff is more or less the definition of serviceable, though I wouldn't consider it a must listen.

Note:  Yet even more tampering by Lucas for this Star Wars film, and the best I can say about this DVD version is that it's not the even more annoying cut on the blu-ray.  Once again the riff is synced to the DVD edition, and the blu-ray runs seven seconds longer than the DVD.

Average

Behavior of Domestic-Pigs in a Semi-Natural Pig-Park (Rifftrax Shorts)

Rifftrax Year:  2010
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

This lesser known sequel to March of the Penguins centers on the birth and nurturing of pigs.  Watch in horror as we follow them through pig adolescence, which is commented on by a monotonous Scottish narrator.  If you really wanted to see graphic scenes of pigs being born and nursing on their mothers, buy this short in a hurry!

Mike, Kevin, and Bill on the other hand want no part of this.  Their primary go-to joke in this short is their desire to not be seeing what the short is showing.  For those who thrive off of a riffer's reaction gags, then this short should be a must buy.  The only difficulty in recommending it is that they're reacting for a reason.  We see quite a bit of a pig's bodily functions in this short, and I think they're rightfully terrified.

Still, for me their frustration in knowing too much about where bacon comes from is at least good for some grand laughs.  I think this short is hilarious, just know what you're getting.

Thumbs Up

👍

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (Rifftrax)

Film Year:  1980 (riff of the 2004 DVD version)
Genre:  Fantasy, Science Fiction
Director:  Irvin Kershener
Starring:  Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, James Earl Jones, Frank Oz, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Peter Mayhew, Alec Guinness
Rifftrax Year:  2009
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett, Chad Vader

The Movie

*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*

Luke Skywalker takes the advice of Ju-On ghost spirit animal guide (or whatever the hell he is supposed to be) Obi-Wan Kenobi and seeks out the guidance of one of the few remaining Jedi, a puppet named Yoda.  There he will train to be a Jedi Knight and challenge Darth Vader.  Meanwhile Han and Leia get into wacky misadventures on their way to Cloud City, where they meet up with Han's hilariously traitorous friend Lando Calrissian.

Often considered to be the best Star Wars movie, and even as a casual viewer I don't necessarily disagree with that.  The Empire Strikes Back is certainly the most well-rounded Star Wars movie of the original trilogy, even if it often seems aimless.  The storyline features Luke seeking training, then he proceeds to whine about it and doesn't even finish before running off half cocked (OUR HERO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN).  Han, Leia, Chewie, and C-3P0 more or less provide excuse for special effects shenanigans wherever they go, and rarely ever seem to have a plan or a purpose.

But the important point to make is that in spite of the movie kind of wandering around aimlessly in search of a plot, Empire is a lot of fun.  Irvin Kershner directs a more stylized film than Lucas attempted, and the film is always interesting to look at.  Characters are more colorful while interactions are stronger.  And of course there is the twist at the end, which took the world by storm.  Even those who haven't seen the film know how it ends, which says a lot about the movies impact.

Yeah, you won't get any argument from me in calling Empire the best Star Wars movie.  It certainly feels like there was no other choice to take that throne.  Though the fact that every Star Wars movie in it's baseline kind of sucks in spite of itself means it really isn't hard to be top of the heap.

The Trax

Chad Vader is back with the gang and unlike Attack of the Clones he is a more prominent riffing presence in Empire Strikes Back.  They utilize him fairly well in scenes where they have him dub Darth Vader's voice, though in instances where he tries to riff on other characters he comes off hit and miss.  However he does get off one of my favorite lines of the riff...

"Good Luke, release your inner bitch."

Overall this riff is more of a sparring session than a full blown main event.  They jump in and get a few good jabs, but overall there is very little effort to go above and beyond.  There are a lot of stock jokes in here:  getting stoned, farts, tangents into unrelated subjects.  Some of them can be funny, though for the most part Empire falls tepid.

I still consider this a superior trax over The Phantom Menace in that I don't feel the experience crossed the line into becoming unpleasant.  This is more of a casual riff that is swell for background noise while doing something else.  But I do hope for more personally when I sit down to listen to one of these.  Here's hoping they aren't just out of steam on this series.

Note:  Yet another victim of Lucas tampering, Empire Strikes Back always for the most part seemed to get off easy.  While I don't think there is anything too different between the DVD and blu-ray versions, the blu-ray does run six seconds longer.  The riff is synced to the DVD, which makes that your safest bet.

Average

Live and Learn (Rifftrax Shorts)

Rifftrax Year:  2013
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

If you've ever thought to yourself "You know, I don't think I've seen children maimed enough in my lifetime," have we got a short for you!  Live and Learn teaches the children the moral of safety by showing consequences to thoughtless and careless actions, such as breaking a leg, nearly drowning, or turning into a dummy and falling down a cliff.

The moral is noted, though maybe presented a bit too matter-of-factly.  This short seems somewhat detached from the events it portrays, and they never really come off as shocking as its hoping.  I see events being portrayed, but I don't really care about them.  But it's a fair attempt at scaring kids straight.

Mike, Kevin, and Bill seem to latch onto this overview of carelessness and push its inhabitants into even zanier stupidity.  This is something they've done quite well with other safety shorts such as Days of Our Years and Shake Hands With Danger, where the stupidity on display sets them up really well.  The difference between those shorts and Live and Learn is that Live and Learn focuses on children, which gives them a fresh perspective to play with.

They also have fun with the old-timey production values, with their reaction to the "special effects" of a child falling off a cliff being a highlight.  And of course they do love to play droning narrator, turning commentary on near fatal accidents into something akin to a Goofy "How To" cartoon.  Live and Learn is a treat whether you learn something from it or not.

Thumbs Up

👍

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (Rifftrax)

Film Year:  1977 (riff of the 2004 DVD edition)
Genre:  Fantasy, Science Fiction
Director:  George Lucas
Starring:  Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Peter Cushing, Alec Guinness, James Earl Jones, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Peter Mayhew
Rifftrax Year:  2008
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

The Movie

*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*

Here it is folks, the blockbuster that changed the world.  With the one-two punch of Jaws and Star Wars Hollywood began to shift into crowd pleasing big budget spectacles of which we are still enjoying today.  This original Star Wars (I shall refer to it as "A New Hope" as little as possible, because it's a shit title) tells the story of Luke Skywalker, who finds two droids attempting to deliver a message from Princess Leia begging an elderly Jedi Obi Wan Kenobi for assistance in destroying a galactic Empire's latest weapon, the Death Star, which has the power to destroy planets.

Influenced by the serialized science fiction of the past as well as the Akira Kurosawa film The Hidden Fortress (which for the record I think more highly of than Star Wars, to be honest), Star Wars struck a chord with viewers of all ages when it was first released in 1977.  Imaginations were sparked, spectacle kept viewers thrilled and coming back for more, and special effects techniques took a massive leap forward.

I'm already on record saying I like the movie but don't love it.  I find the adventure fun, though the pacing somewhat sluggish and padded.  I find that very little happens in the movie especially in comparison to other Star Wars movies.  Granted this probably isn't a valid complaint, since in 1977 we didn't have other Star Wars movies to compare it to.  The finale areal dogfight is a winner, though a lot of the action throughout sometimes feels stunted.  The fantasy tales of Jedi mixed in with space dystopia doesn't always work for me in this film since the former aspect feels underdeveloped in favor of emphasizing the latter as the main premise, leading to a finale of Luke "using the Force" that really makes me shrug because it seems like an unnecessary cheat.  One could argue that this fleshes out the galaxy far, far away, though my counterpoint is that they fleshed the idea of the Jedi out far more in the sequels than they did in this film.  Taking this movie by itself it has always seemed awkward to me.

I understand why people like it, and for anybody who enjoys spectacle filmmaking has to at least respect Star Wars.  I just don't love it.  It's fun, but I find it more fun in a pop it in on a Saturday afternoon if nothing else is on kind of fun.  I don't really have an argument against it though other than I don't quite gel with it the way so many others do.

The Trax

Well we're into the nitty gritty with Rifftrax taking on what is considered to be a GOOD Star Wars movie for once.  I profess optimism in the face of that, as the last two Star Wars riffs were vast improvements over the first two.

This original Star Wars film proves to a bit wavy, with joke quality varying based upon what patch of the film we're in.  This could be a fault of the film itself, as it tends to run sequences quite long and some segments are more interesting than others.  As the film started I wasn't too impressed as we meet C-3PO and R2-D2 and we're given similar jokes to the previous times we've bumped into these characters (of the 3PO is gay and R2 has a foul mouth type).  Once we meet up with Luke Skywalker there is a bit more enthusiasm for the whiny character and riff inspiration skyrockets.  There is quite a bit more creativity here, with some of my favorite gags coming at the expense of the prequel trilogy (I laughed quite a while when Mike translated R2 as "I stood next to your dying mother.").

From that point I it dwindles before running hot and cold throughout the rest of the film.  All told it's overall not too dissimilar an experience than the Attack of the Clones riff.  My conclusion as to whether or not it's worth purchasing is pretty much the same.  When I was laughing I was laughing really hard, and even the lesser moments usually amused.  If you have this movie in your collection this might be fun to listen to at least once.

Note:  The original Star Wars trilogy has been edited to shit since 1997.  The Rifftrax was created around the 2004 DVD editions of the film.  The current blu-ray editions have been altered from these versions, though it doesn't appear to be too drastic in terms of runtime.  The blu-ray runs six seconds longer than the DVD, but as always if one wants the purest syncing experience then you would want to use the DVD.

Good

Duck and Cover (Rifftrax Shorts)

Rifftrax Year:  2015

Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

The most infamous educational film of all time gets roasted at long last.  Duck and Cover is a film designed to give false hope to children during the Cold War, telling them that the best way to survive a nuclear attack is to drop down and take shelter.  With the children confident that they will survive they will ascend into heaven without knowing what hit them.  Unless they die a slow and agonizing death of course.

False hope is better than none.  Maybe it's best that the adults tried to give the impression that children shouldn't worry about silly little things like arms race politics and just let them feel as happy and safe as possible.  The short does what it sets out to do in that regard.  But consider this:  the duck and cover method isn't entirely meaningless, as a lot of the advice featured is fairly helpful in other disastrous events that might occur.  Ducking out of the way, taking shelter, or dodging potentially harmful items is great advice in several instances.  It's just that in this case it's practically useless.

The issue I have with riffing this short is that it's funny all on its own, what with the poor advice during a hopeless situation and hilarious depictions of a bomb drop, which just show a flash on the screen and a loud bang with no repercussions.  Mike, Kevin, and Bill get some quality jabs in, but for the most part they don't seem particularly enthused by the short.  But that's probably because it's child's play and the experience of the short with the riff maintains a pleasant presence throughout.  I don't think I laughed out loud, but I was constantly amused.  Maybe that's good enough.

Thumbs Up

👍