K08-Gamera vs. Guiron

Film Year:  1969
Genre:  Kaiju, Fantasy, Science Fiction
Director:  Noriaki Yuasa
Starring:  Nobuhiro Kajima, Christopher Murphy, Miyuki Akiyama, Yuko Hamada
MST Season:  KTMA

The Movie

*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*

“Brother!  You are naughty!  Mother will scold you!” – Little Tomoko as her brother highjacks a space ship

Our latest Gamera flick has a couple of brats sneak aboard a space ship and highjack it so they can get away from all the wars and traffic accidents on Earth.  They land on a distant star…er, planet where they meet two space babes who want to eat their brains.  Our favorite giant turtle flies to the rescue (because obviously he has a sixth sense whenever children leave the stratosphere…why wouldn’t he?), but first he needs to get past massive guard dog Guiron!

This is definitely the funniest of the Gamera movies, not just on the show, but outside of it (save perhaps Super Monster Gamera, with its flipping superheroine alien chicks).  Not only is the story mind numbingly stupid, but it has quite possibly the worst dub job in the history of film adding to the cheese factor.

And what to say about Guiron?  Guiron is pure acid trip in monster form.  He’s a living butcher knife with ninja stars that shoot out of his head.  You can’t tell me you don’t want to see that after reading it.

Let’s face it, this movie is a MSTie fan favorite for a reason.  I’m not inclined to disagree, though I’m forced to give it a low rating due to the amount of brain cells I lose while watching it.

The Episode

Well, the Mads are out of bad movies and are ready to send up a good one...oh wait!  They found another Gamera movie!  Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

A KTMA version of an episode as beloved as the third season's Gamera vs. Guiron can be a rough affair.  But this version's ace in the hole is the movie itself.  It's really hard for this movie to not be funny, and it would take an unprecedented crash and burn by the riffers to make this a terrible episode.  The riffing, as KTMA as it is, is fairly active and full of reactions, and I'd say it's probably a contender for the least sparse episode of the season.  Sometimes there are even laughs I'd say are on a par with the third season counterpart.

"HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE YOU TO FINISH THIS SPEECH?"

"Five thousand years."

"Oh no!"

"That's a lot of speech!"

The centerpiece of the host segments features Crow dreaming about being the mad scientist in charge of the experiment and sending Dr. Forrester and Dr. Erhardt "A Planet of the Apes Christmas" over and over again (and no, that's not a real movie).  Another segment follows it up where Joel doubts the Bots can dream at all, leading to a delightful back and forth between the trio.  There is also a brief host segment where Gypsy and Crow mock learning about what it means to be human.

"Humans.  Can't live with them, can't turn their heads 360 degrees."

KTMA's Gamera vs. Guiron isn't as funny as it's remake, though I'd say it's easily the strongest of the KTMA Gamera episodes.  Not a bad way to close out this giant turtle gauntlet, though I could go without watching another Gamera movie for a long time.  Maybe two or three seasons.

Good