1108-The Loves of Hercules

Film Year:  1960
Genre:  Fantasy, Adventure, Action
Director:  Carlo Ludovico Bragaglia
Starring:  Jayne Mansfield, Mickey Hargitay, Masimo Serato, Rene Dary
MST Season:  11

The Movie

The fourth in the Italian series of Hercules films released between 1958 and 1965, The Loves of Hercules finds Herc's wife murdered by an invading army.  To temper the rage of Hercules and hopefully prevent retaliation, chief minister Licos kills the king responsible for the invasion.  The king's daughter, Deianira, is crowned the new ruler and Hercules instantly forgets his dead wife and falls in love with her, but she is betrothed to another.  Licos, however, has her to-be-husband murdered and intends to marry Deianira himself, framing Hercules for the crime.  In hopes to clear his name, Hercules goes on a journey that leads him into battle with the Hydra and eventually in the clutches of Amazonian queen Hippolyta, who casts a spell to keep Hercules all to herself (then turn him into a tree).

For those playing at home with Hercules continuity (if there is such a thing), The Loves of Hercules was the film released just before Hercules and the Captive Women, while coming out after both Steve Reeves films.  A film called "Revenge of Hercules" came out in Italy between Hercules Unchained and this film, but that Hercules character was rebranded in the US and it was released as Goliath and the Dragon.  Similarly, Hercules Against the Moon Men is a rebranded Maciste movie, and isn't a true Hercules movie.

What makes this stand out over other Hercules flicks?  The sultry and epicly bosomed Jayne Mansfield, who had enough sway to not only get top billing over the title character, but also insisted her then-husband, Mickey Hargitay, play the role.  The former Playboy Playmate looks super good in the costumes, as well as the wigs they put on her head, so if you watch films like these for some gorgeous dames, you'll get at least one womanly form that will keep your attention.  Hubby Herc Hargitay is fine, but definitely no Steve Reeves.  He's a softer Hercules than we've seen before, probably playing off the fact that the movie is meant to be more romantic than previous films, but a Hercules that isn't smarmy and full of confidence and swagger doesn't feel like a true Hercules.

Plus he doesn't have the beard.  Italian Herc without a beard just feels wrong.

As a Herculean adventure, I enjoyed Loves for the most part.  The idea of Hercules falling in love so soon after his wife's murder takes me aback, but I guess the alpha male gotta alpha male.  Some grieving might have been appropriate.  No?  Okay, fine, you go ahead and get some, Herc.

The rest of the movie is standard Hercules stumbles from adventure to adventure stuff,  first fighting a giant, rubber, damn near immobile Hydra...that only has three heads and doesn't grow two more after losing one (how is it a Hydra again?).  His seduction by Hippolyta brings memories of Herc being prisoner by nymphs in Hercules Unchained, but the trial is mercifully shorter.  It all comes to a climax in a spectacle fueled battle finale, like a good Herc movie should.  Loves of Hercules is a standard Hercules adventure, and that's good enough for me.

The Episode

This episode gives me the ol' warm and fuzzies, because Hercules episodes, while not often classic material, were always solid comfort food viewing for me.  I love those Italian adventure movies featuring buff dudes in skirts lifting Styrofoam rocks and kicking butt, and the riffs just make them that much more enjoyable to me.  We haven't really tapped movies like this since Colossus and the Headhunters in season six nor a Hercules movie at all since season five, so The Loves of Hercules is a welcome sight to me.

True to most Hercules episodes, the riffing doesn't make for a demigod worthy episode, but the flavor of the film and the tone of the riff are so jovial together that it's a wondrously pleasant watch from start to finish.  Our meatheaded Hercules is the primary target, and the quips come steady and with spirit.  However, Jonah and the Bots have a weird obsession with his nipples.  Tiny nipple jokes are abundant and are driven into the ground, and I found myself wishing they'd find something else to work with in select scenes.  They do have fun with the less-than-convincing Hydra puppet, in which Hercules has a grand fight with where he hops and rolls around pretending to dodge and fight the thing.  They also have some great jabs at the men turning into trees toward the end.

This episode has the honor of introducing M. Waverly to the Satellite of Love.  Servo, Crow, and Gypsy don't take too kindly to Jonah creating a bot of his own, so things don't end well for the little guy, but he survives and is alive and well in the next season.  Most of the other segments aren't all that memorable, as they mostly feature Jonah and the Bots lounging around, sometimes just watching Wings.  The catapult sketch is a meh sequence of "I get it, I guess," while the ending where Jonah, the Bots, Kinga, and Max all continue the ending choir vocals from the film is cute, but not much of a segment in itself.  The Invention Exchange are a pair of visual gags that never get the chance to become visual gags, as we never see the Fried Turkey Dunk Tank actually dunk nor the Mexican Jumping Bean Beanbag Chair actually jump.

Overall, The Loves of Hercules really hits the spot for me in ways that other relaunch episodes didn't aspire to.  Seeing Hercules back is like welcoming an old friend back into my home and catching up, and I wouldn't mind seeing more Herc flicks on the show.  I mean, for fuck's sake, there are plenty of them!  We might as well just shoot straight through them!

Good

The DVD and Blu-Ray

The Loves of Hercules was released on both DVD and blu-ray via Shout Factory's Season 11 box set, of which I own the #WeBroughtBackMST3K Collector's Edition blu-ray which was available to Kickstarter backers.  Audio and video are both pristine,and while there are no bonus features on the disc, it shares disc space with the previous episode, The Land That Time Forgot.