819-Invasion of the Neptune Men

Film Year:  1961
Genre:  Science Fiction, Superhero, Fantasy
Director:  Koji Ohta
Starring:  Sonny Chiba, a bunch of kids in short-shorts, and SUPPOSITORY MAN!
MST Season:  8

The Movie

Often considered one of the worst, most painful films ever featured on Mystery Science Theater, Invasion of the Neptune Men is a Japanese import with an inane story, no plot, and endless cycles of repeating footage.  MSTies across the globe reeled in pain from being overwhelmed by this film.

And I'm here to tell you that you're all a bunch of pussies.  This movie is a breeze.

The film is not all that dissimilar to Prince of Space, as it features an alien race invading the world and a superhero in a goofy costume appearing out of nowhere to save us.  The Neptune Men differ from the chicken men of Krankor in that they are a faceless enemy, dressed in jumpsuits and giant bullet-shaped helmets.  Our hero, Space Chief, differs from Prince of Space in that he...um...uh...isn't a boot black, I guess.

Actually, come to think of it, Space Chief is largely a non-entity in the movie.  He comes to the rescue several times, but we have little sense of who he is and what his purpose is.  For the most part, humanity itself does a lot of the counter Neptune maneuvers in the film, while Space Chief backs them up by blowing up spaceships when they need him to.  His human alter ego is a scientist, but we have little context to display the connection between the two characters other than they're played by the same actor.  That actor in question is martial arts legend Sonny Chiba, who went on to have quite the badass career.  Genre fans will know him from movies like Street Fighter (not the video game movie, a different one) while more pompous cinephiles will recognize him as the swordmaker from Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill films.  People like me who watch The Last Drive-In will know him from Wolf Guy:  Enraged Lycanthrope.

The film is plotless and meandering, and it really just lumbers slowly to a conclusion that it never really builds strongly toward.  Part of this may be the fault of the American re-edit, which looped and added footage to make the the film lengthier, though they only succeeded in making it look more pointless.

And yet, I feel no pain while watching this movie.  I feel moderate amusement, actually.  Perhaps growing up on Godzilla and Power Rangers has numbed me to Japanese weirdness, but I can think of better things to do with my time than to berate a Japanese kids film from the early 60's.  I can't hate doofus bubblegum entertainment like this, no matter how dumb it gets.

The Episode

The big question is that after having sat through Prince of Space, do we really need to sit through Invasion of the Neptune Men also?

Yes.  Yes, we do.

Prince of Space is my favorite episode of the show, so I can enter an episode that features a similar movie, only done worse, with a bit of skepticism.  I find myself prepared to say "Honey, I know Prince of Space, and you, my friend, are no Prince of Space."  But the riffing on Neptune Men is less playful and a bit angrier.  Maybe having already sat through a movie like this has irritated Mike and the Bots, but they're definitely in one of the most aggressive moods ever featured on the series.  Because of that, Neptune Men is just different enough an experience to Prince of Space to make it worthwhile, and since I find this approach almost as funny, Neptune Men is actually my second favorite episode of the series (bite me, haters).

There is a bit of a cultural war in the theater this week, as a lot of their frustrations are taken on Japan in general.  It's not unusual for the gang to attribute exaggerated cultural divide jokes in this riff, sometimes bordering on stereotype (I don't believe it's mean or offensive stereotype, but I'm from Idaho, so I'm probably not the best judge of that).  The riffs on the stiff Neptune Men portrayals are always a gas for me, as the silver space men are usually doing something worth commenting on while they're onscreen.  There is a fairly solid running gag on the lead Neptune Man, who has a disc on the top of his head, as Mike and the Bots project him as having lost his "record" and is constantly asking if anybody knows where it is.  It's simple and a little dumb, but I dig it.

There is also a portion of the riff where they are faced with repeating footage and they decide to turn to sketch comedy.  As the footage loops, Mike and the Bots become more weary, angrier, and start to lash out more.  Mike and Crow become sick of the whole ordeal and decide to leave the theater, leaving Servo by himself.  They also use this opportunity to expand the lore of the show by explaining that to keep Mike in the theater to watch the movie, the Mads actually cut off the oxygen to the rest of the ship.  Yet, Mike leaves anyway, because he's just that sick of this movie.  Crow is never in any real danger, though he returns with Mike after Mike decides breathing is more important than not sitting through Neptune Men.

This isn't even mentioning what may be the funniest scene ever featured on Mystery Science Theater, where Mike and the Bots are making their way through the endless battle footage at the end, when suddenly a building with a picture of Adolph Hitler plastered on the side appears and blows up.  I have no context for what this building is supposed to represent, but in the supplemental features on the DVD, all the normal explanations for it (being from another movie, being actual war footage, ect) have been debunked, which means this was an actual model built for the film.  But whatever it is, and wherever it came from, Mike and the Bots' reactions to it are priceless.

This episode also has one of my favorite host segments (maybe a contender for my very favorite), which is an Abbott and Costello inspired bit in which Mike tries to explain "Noh Theater" to the Bots, only for confusion to erupt.  Backing it up are some other winners, like a visit from Krankor (which features a pretty good use of the Crow puppet as both he and Krankor are both played by Bill), Crow reading out a suggestion box for Japan, and a war between the Nanites and Mike's Eyelash Mites.  The Mads segments are a bit less satisfactory, as we're still in Roman Times, and Pearl and Observer try to regroup with Bobo, who believe himself to be a warrior called "Mad Goth."  It's okay, though not great.

If you ask me, the biggest thing going against Neptune Men is that it aired too close to Prince of Space.  The movies are too similar for their own good, though the riffing styles of the two episodes make them distinct enough to feel like separate experiences.  Personally, I find the two episodes to be a stellar one-two punch of Japanese weirdness, and they encompass exactly what I love about this show.

Classic

The DVD

The Neptune Men invaded our home media on Shout Factory's Volume XXXVII set, with good audio and but flawed video.  There are several tape hits spread sparingly throughout the episode, though the picture often sees horizontal black lines stretching to the right of the screen throughout.  It's not overly bothersome, but it's not a good transfer at all.

The episode comes with an introduction by Mary Jo Pehl, who discusses various on-screen aspects of the episode:  such as how prolific Japanese toku films are, the Roman times/Mad Goth skits, the Nanite/Eyelash Mite war, and the visit from Krankor.  There are a few tidbits, but mostly she just describes what happens in the episode itself.

More interesting, I feel, is August on Neptune, as Shout invites Japanese cinema expert August Ragone to discuss the early days of Toei Studios and what led to the creation of films like Prince of Space and Invasion of the Neptune Men.  He discusses a little bit of Sonny Chiba and other crewmembers of note, while dismissing the rumors that the destruction scenes were both actual destruction scenes and/or borrowed from the film World War III Breaks Out (even though small shots of each are in the film, but are minor).  He claims the majority of effects were created for this film (including the Hitler Building, which he doesn't provide an excuse for).  Also of note is the lengthy sequence of repeating footage that wear Mike and the Bots down in this film, which August points out was an addition for the English market, because the distributor didn't think it was long enough.

Concluding the disc is a trailer for the film, which has me a little curious about the original cut to this movie.