Multiplex Madness
BlackBerry
⭐⭐⭐1/2
Genre: Drama
Director: Matt Johnson
Starring: Jay Baruchel, Glen Howerton, Matt Johnson
I missed the whole BlackBerry fad because I didn't have a cell phone until 2008 because nobody wants to talk to my dead ass, so I have little context for what this thing is except that it's maybe that thing from that episode of The Simpsons where Homer yelled "I had Lenny's name on that!" (or was that a Palm Pilot?) The BlackBerry movie had to offer me something other than brand recognition, and if it did anything that caught my interest it's that it offered what the movie Air didn't do last month, where it offers a glimpse at a capitalistic whirlwind and spiral. Air tried to set up corporate overlords as relatable underdogs, which was strange and didn't hit for me. BlackBerry shows well-intentioned nerds with ideas and no business-sense swept up in a tidal wave of corporate expansion and greed that is designed to flood people like them and they either learn how to surf or they get washed up. The film shows the group of people who came up with this idea of a cellphone/email device but with no clue on how to unleash it upon the world take up a deal with a business shark who takes a stake in the company and turns it into a corporation, with the highs and lows that come with it. That being said, Air was a snazzy film that had a lot of effort put into its presentation. By comparison, BlackBerry is held back by feeling aesthetically off-putting. Jay Baruchel is very good in this movie as Mike Lazaridis, but every time he's onscreen all I can see is his bad wig. Glen Howerton is also very good as Jim Balsillie, but he plays a balding man in this movie and you can clearly see his shaved hairline throughout the entire movie. It's little details that don't work out in its favor that drive me batty (like that buzzing noise does to Lazaridis), even down to something as minor and someone claiming they're going to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark in letterbox and when we see them watching it it's clearly pan and scan. The movie is good enough to earn a watch in spite of the corners it cuts.
Book Club: The Next Chapter
⭐⭐
Genre: Comedy
Director: Bill Holderman
Starring: Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, Mary Steenburgen
I don't know if I accidentally stumbled upon a renaissance or whatever, but what I do know is this is third movie in the last four months I've seen starring Jane Fonda. I have no idea what to read into that (is this a Covid delay thing?), but if Book Club: The Next Chapter also had Lily Tomlin in it, I think there'd be some conspiracy afoot. I've also seen the same amount of movies in a slightly extended amount of time starring Diane Keaton, and my brain is fusing them together because I now have Mandela Effect memories of the three movies being the exact same movies. Or maybe it's because Mack & Rita and Maybe I Do were so bad that I'm retroactively adding Diane Keaton to 80 for Brady and Moving On to protect her.
I haven't seen the first Book Club, which I remember from the trailers being about a book club of women of a certain age reading Fifty Shades of Grey or something. I can only imagine it being a sexual reawakening thing. That or they'd openly mock it like the rest of us, but given how my general impression of this sequel is that it's a GILF innuendo comedy, I think the former is more likely than the latter. Is it a funny GILF innuendo comedy? It's wry, but I didn't find it particularly funny or amusing. Book Club: The Next Chapter is a basic friends on an international trip movie and its appeal is going to lie heavily on how big of a fan you are of the leads. If you love them and just want to hear their gabby girl talk, then it will probably please you. For everyone else, it's not really anything.
Fool's Paradise
⭐⭐⭐
Genre: Comedy
Director: Charlie Day
Starring: Charlie Day, Ken Jeong, Ray Liotta, Kate Beckinsale, Adrien Brody, Jason Sudeikis, Edie Falco, Jason Bateman, Common, John Malkovich
Fool's Paradise sees Charlie Day making his directorial debut, while also starring as a mute homeless man who gets swept up into the Hollywood system and accidentally becomes a superstar. The film feels like a ode to the sort of madcap comedy of silent comedic characters swept up by his surroundings, with Day playing a character that feels influenced by Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, or Harpo Marx. It's fused with the stylings of a Blake Edwards comedy from the 60's, which is its own brand of madcap that meshes well with what Day is already paying tribute to. I had a blast watching this movie, because Day clearly loves a lot of things I love too and wants to honor them. I think what the movie is missing is a great central physical performance. Day is very expressive in the movie, but I think finding someone who could move the way Chaplin or Keaton did probably would have boosted it just that much more, that way you don't have to rely of the rapid fire chatterbox comedy surrounding Day, that can grow inconsistent. I think Day is pretty good, but he's drug around the movie like a prop when there is probably more he can do to generate the biggest laugh of the moment. The movie doesn't always run its best game, but I think there's an audience who will watch it and admire what it does achieve.
Knights of the Zodiac
⭐⭐
🏆 Must-See Bad Movie Award
Genre: Fantasy, Action
Director: Tomek Bagiñski
Starring: Makenyu, Madison Iseman, Famke Janssen, Sean Bean, Nick Stahl, Diego Tinoco, Mark Dacascos
Based on a manga series called "Saint Seiya," which probably has an anime series or fourteen like every other manga, Knights of the Zodiac is a basic story of boy meets girl, girl happens to be a repressed goddess, and he is fated to serve her as a guardian. They fight, they friend zone, if there's a sequel, they're probably gonna fuck too (or kiss if this is supposed to be a kids movie but I can't tell). People who watch this movie will likely focus on the negative, rightfully so, because this movie sucks. But allow me to be glass-half-full on a movie this stupid because I don't feel like dog piling. Knights of the Zodiac is a very earnest attempt at a live-action anime stylization, which doesn't always help the movie rise up above being seen as loopy nonsense, but the effort has a quaint charm to it. I can pinpoint shots thinking to myself "That's a manga panel" or "That's an anime angle," and even the line reads are odd, like they were trying to mimic a bad anime dub. I kinda had fun watching how laborious the film was to something that clearly wasn't working. Say what you will about this movie, but it goes all-in on itself. The costume design is absolutely ridiculous but it commits to it, right down to a climax where Madison Iseman gets to wear a purple clown wig and scream at the camera. The movie is a full Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie experience. The movie is a load of waffle, but I had a good time.
Rally Road Racers
⭐⭐
Genre: Comedy
Director: Ross Venokur
Starring: Jimmy O. Yang, Chloe Bennett, J.K. Simmons, John Cleese
I don't think Rally Road Racers is going to be of interest to many adult animation buffs. The movie looks good enough and its has a few clever lines, but it's struggles to maintain an attention span. But if you have children under 10, it could be a solid "prop them in front of the TV and play on your phone" movie. It's a pretty generic humble underdog movie, with a little panda striving to save his grandmother's house by winning a race. It's a light breeze of a movie that might be more of a one-and-done option if you're tired of watching the Cars movies with your kids.
Netflix & Chill
Crater
⭐⭐⭐
Streaming On: Disney+
Genre: Sci-Fi, Adventure, Comedy
Director: Kyle Patrick Alvarez
Starring: Isaiah Russell-Bailey, Mckenna Grace, Billy Barratt, Orson Hong, Thomas Boyce
This cute little sci-fi film features an orphaned boy on a mining colony on the moon, who is about to move to another planet where he'll never see his friends again. He spends his last few days with his friends by stealing a rover and going on a lunar road trip to a crater that was special to his late parents. Flaws of the film include a choppy and undercooked first act that seems intent on getting the kids into the rover as fast as possible. The film understandably wants this because that's where its heart is, showing off its young leads in a youthful bonding environment that brings laughs, excitement, and hardship. The journey never slogs and the cast always charms. The film ends on a note of sweetness, acknowledging that even if periods of our lives aren't meant to last, they help shape who we become and how we approach the world.
Huesera: The Bone Woman
⭐⭐⭐
Streaming On: Shudder
Genre: Horror
Director: Michelle Garza Cervera
Starring: Natalia Solián, Alfonso Dosal
Shudder imported this Mexican flick for Mother's Day weekend, which sees a pregnant woman haunted by supernatural beings that seem to want her or her child. The film deals with prenatal and postpartum anxieties, which seems to be drawing a lot of comparisons to The Babadook. It's not an unfair comparison, but I feel The Babadook is a lot more layered in its presentation, while Huesera: The Bone Woman is more a series of ambiguous imagery assaulting its lead and the viewer. There's nuance to it, but the film feels like its keeping the viewer at arms length as its makes its way to a frustrating, if understandable, conclusion. The movie is a very well made and striking film, which makes it an excellent choice for horror hounds this weekend.
The Mother
⭐⭐1/2
Streaming On: Netflix
Genre: Thriller, Action
Director: Niki Caro
Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Joseph Fiennes, Omari Hardwick, Gael Garcia Bernal
Jennifer Lopez stars as an assassin who gave up her child years prior, and many years later tries to hide the daughter she never knew from bad guys. Okay concept is a bit dryly produced, feeling drained and dull. The film has a tendency to shift gears every twenty minutes, being an action movie one minute, a suspense film the next, and even a gritty, secluded drama at different points. The film's setpieces are suitably stylized, but it's a less exciting and interesting watch than it should be. The movie's best stuff comes when Lopez's character is allowed to bond with her daughter, but sadly it's only a fraction of the movie.
New To Streaming
Air ⭐⭐⭐
The Covenant ⭐⭐⭐
Evil Dead Rise ⭐⭐⭐
The Lost King ⭐⭐⭐
New To Physical
Children of the Corn ⭐1/2
Coming Soon!
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