Multiplex Madness
Air
⭐⭐⭐
Genre: Drama
Director: Ben Affleck
Starring: Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Viola Davis, Jason Bateman, Chris Tucker, Chris Messina, Marlon Wayans
Nothing celebrates the greatness of one of the most legendary sports stars of all time more than making a movie devoted to the people who got rich off of him. Hooray capitalism! This movie, where Ben Affleck finally getting back on the directorial horse after his Batman movie fell through, is devoted to the men at Nike who risked their entire basketball line on courting (lol) then-rookie basketball player Michael Jordan as their sole endorsement deal in 1984. Jordan doesn't have a very large role in this movie, mind you, as the movie mostly alludes to him off-screen and when he is involved in a scene is played by a stand-in from behind as the film hopes you feel his presence by the mere association of such an icon. It doesn't quite work, but I'll give the film credit for side-stepping the risk of casting the role, which was likely going to wind up disappointing. The rest of the movie is good actors giving jazzed up performances, and Matt Damon giving scripted speeches predicting just how great Jordan will be because the screenwriters have hindsight to pull from. The movie's finale highlights something the rest of the movie isn't quite building up to and comes out of thin air, suddenly becoming an argument in favor of residual and percentage deals, of which the Air Jordan line was a huge president for. The point the movie is making is well said and heard, but it's also something the movie doesn't quite bring up until it's inches from home plate, which causes the message to feel disconnected from the story that comes before it. The movie is also a love letter to Jordan's mother (here played by the wonderful Viola Davis), who was a large part in brokering the deal, but this is also in that King Richard sort of way where the movie is more interested in what she wants that it sidesteps what Jordan himself wants. In a way it's worse, because at least Venus and Serena Williams were characters in King Richard, even if they took a backseat to Richard himself. But on the flip side, Air's not a film about Jordan but rather the people who bet their lifelines on him, so the approach can work out in its favor.
Mafia Mamma
⭐⭐1/2
Genre: Comedy
Director: Catherine Hardwicke
Starring: Toni Collette, Monica Bellucci
This month's Regal Mystery Movie was yet another comedy (as almost all have been, with the exception of Missing), this one hailing from Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke. It's a rather basic fish-out-of-water concept, where Toni Collette plays a bubbly American woman who finds her life starting to go down the drain, who then discovers she's inherited an Italian Mafia "family business" after her grandfather has passed away. Shenanigans ensue. It's goofy and light, and those looking for silly laughs will get them. Collette carries it with an amusingly aloof performance while Monica Bellucci works her sultry magic as her intense and passionate straight man. The issue I found myself having with it is that it's largely aimless. It's more of an episodic, "events happening" movie that are mostly unrelated, except they're all happening to Collette. There isn't even a real reason why Collette's character inherits this Mafia Don title that she gets stuck with, other than it's her grandfather's wishes. Why did he wish it and did he really think she could handle it? Who knows. The movie doesn't care about that, and is more concerned with injecting Collette into the action as fast as possible. The movie also makes a habit of being the type of comedy that mugs for the camera and plays up its audience, instead of having a humorous rhythm and flow to it. Not everybody will be down with that, but if you're watching a movie called Mafia Mamma then you made a conscious decision to watch a movie called Mafia Mamma and have no right to complain that you're watching a movie called Mafia Mamma (mystery advance screenings notwithstanding, that is).
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
⭐⭐1/2
Genre: Fantasy, Adventure, Comedy
Director: Aaron Horvath, Michael Jelenic
Starring: Chris Pratt, Charlie Day, Anya Taylor-Joy, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Seth Rogen
One can't say Mario hasn't given it one hell of a go on the big screen. They've made two movies, both with extremely opposite approaches to a cinematic take on "plumber steps on turtles to save princess." The 1993 film was made back when movie studios had to look at the thing their kids were playing and guess what it might have been about, and say what you will about that movie, it most certainly is an interpretation. This new animated movie has the benefit of thirty more years of Mario lore to pull from, a lot of which tell full stories. The issue becomes that despite that, Mario's lore is still steeped in basic video game mechanics that are built so that children can understand them, and no matter what, translating those to a film narrative is a rough task. This film hails from Illumination Studios, an animation company that's best known for its sense of humor than its creativity. And sure enough, the Mario movie is funnier than it is creative. Interestingly, the film translates a lot of Mario lore more literally than I expected it too, very earnestly. Sometimes earnest to a fault, as it feels like a world tour of game references audiences will recognize masking that the movie is just random colors and noise. That's doesn't make it a bad movie, just a really simple one that children will shine to, while parents who grew up on this stuff will think "Hey, I understand that reference!" It's amusing and cute, which might disappoint some who were hoping it would achieve greatness. But if you want the basic "plumber steps on turtles to save princess" experience, that's what you get.
Art Attack
The Quiet Girl
⭐⭐⭐
Oscars Nominated: Best International Film
Genre: Drama
Director: Colm Bairéad
Starring: Catherine Clinch, Carrie Crowley, Andrew Bennett
It took them long enough to get the last International Oscar nomination into my neck of the woods, but I'm just glad it got here. The Quiet Girl is an Irish movie from an Oscar ceremony that had no shortage of Irish content, from the shut-out Best Picture favorite The Banshees of Inisherin to the winning short film An Irish Goodbye. The film is about a shy girl from a broken family living in poverty who is sent to live with relatives over the summer, and seeing her adapt to a warmer and more loving environment. The Quiet Girl is primarily a film about the surroundings a parent makes for their children, as the titular "Quiet Girl," Cáit, is a product of abuse, neglect, and passiveness, who finds herself in a situation where people both notice her and want her there. Cáit spends a lot of time taking in her surroundings, not sure how she's supposed to react to certain things but opens up in slight ways through encouragement and bonding. The Quiet Girl is an argument in favor of the bond between family being treasured and not taken for granted.
Netflix & Chill
Chupa
⭐⭐
Streaming On: Netflix
Genre: Fantasy
Director: Jonás Cuarón
Starring: Demián Bichir, Christian Slater, Evan Whitten, Ashley Ciarra, Nicholas Verdugo
Jonás Cuarón, son of acclaimed director Alfonso Cuarón, brings us his take on an E.T./Amblin throwback. Chupa sees a 13-year-old boy visiting family in Mexico, only to discover his grandfather is harboring a baby chupacabra, a legendary beast of the region. The kids befriend it, laughs are had, bad guys want the baby Chupa because reasons. The film has very modest ambitions as a family film, but feels mostly intent on making a film of its type targeted at the Latino community over making a memorable film itself. Unfortunately it's just not a strong enough example of its genre to stand on its own two feet. Chupa is very stuck in broad tropes, doing what better movies have already done with little intent of finding its own rhythm. It's too much of a copycat to achieve greatness, and its few points where it looks to find its own identity feel limp. But if you ever thought E.T. needed a character who was a luchador, Chupa has you covered.
Movies Still Playing At My Theater
Malum ⭐1/2
Paint ⭐⭐⭐
Shazam! Fury of the Gods ⭐⭐⭐1/2
A Thousand and One ⭐⭐⭐1/2
New To Digital
65 ⭐⭐
Inside ⭐⭐⭐
The Quiet Girl ⭐⭐⭐
Shazam! Fury of the Gods ⭐⭐⭐1/2
New To Physical
Aftersun ⭐⭐⭐1/2
Coming Soon!
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