Multiplex Madness
Anyone But You
⭐1/2
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director: Will Gluck
Starring: Sydney Sweeney, Glen Powell, Alexandra Shipp, GaTa, Hadley Robinson, Michelle Hurd, Dermot Melroney, Darren Barnett, Rachel Griffiths
Hot people deal with hot people problems in this dumbfuck of a romcom where Glen Powell and Sydney Sweeney play two people who had a date that went sour and are then forced to spend a week in Australia for a wedding which their mutual passive aggression threatens to derail. They then decide to fake a romance to attempt to not ruin the big day while also inspire jealousy in former lovers. Of course, their resent turns into passion the deeper they get into it, because that's what these movies do. It's a little bit Ticket to Paradise, except younger, firmer, and with more nudity. It's also a lot dumber. Ticket to Paradise wasn't a smart movie to begin with, but it at least felt figured out. Anyone But You feels like a pitch hammered out in an hour, without much desire to tweak it as it went. The idea could have potential, sure, but the movie is constantly pushing itself forward with beats and scenarios that lack the logic they need to be a plot point. The reason Powell and Sweeney hate each other is stupid. The reason they have to pretend to be in love with each other is nonsense. A lot of the comedic setpieces of the film are logistical nightmares that were more concerned with the idea of a comedic image than actually making it make sense in the moment. It leads up to one of the worst "guy chases down girl" endings I've ever seen in a romcom, where the movie goes full dumpster fire in a romantic gesture that is neither romantic nor practical. Powell and Sweeney are charismatic enough to carry a raunchy romcom like this. If the script, plotting, and gag work didn't suck half as much as they do, this movie would probably be charming. But couples looking for a sexy romance will get to see the duo hot for each other and take their clothes off, so it does fulfill its service.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom
⭐⭐
Genre: Superhero, Action, Adventure
Director: James Wan
Starring: Jason Momoa, Patrick Wilson, Amber Heard, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Randall Park, Dolph Lundgren, Temuera Morrison, Martin Short, Nicole Kidman, John Rhys-Davies
It's the last gasp of DC's current cinematic universe incarnation, before getting retinkered with James Gunn's Superman: Legacy in 2025. DC has struggled with getting people to care about this year's slate of films because they never seemed to matter, though I still contend Shazam and Blue Beetle were worth watching and The Flash had its moments. Then there is Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, which takes cues from Thor: The Dark World and puts our punk rock hero and has him team up with his antagonistic brother on a globetrotting journey to take down a bigger threat. If nothing else, I admire James Wan's determination to make the Aquaman movies into hammy pulp adventure porn. Where the line is that crosses into overkill is unknown, because subtlety isn't what he does. I enjoyed the first Aquaman movie, in spite of its worst tendencies, mostly because I found its enthusiasm for itself infectious. Lost Kingdom has the same enthusiasm, though it seems to have doubled down on it so hard that it becomes self-indulgent. It's kind of a Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen situation, but not quite as rambunctiously obnoxious about it. Lost Kingdom is more of what the first movie is, but with bolder setpieces and broader comedy, the former being spectacular and the latter being inconsistent. Yahya Abdul-Mateen II owns every second of his screentime as Black Manta, and Wan knows how to use him, making Manta one of the best villains in a superhero flick this year. Jason Momoa and Patrick Wilson are mostly confined to being a comedic duo when they aren't punching people, and the movie's sense of humor is probably a bit more animated than most might like. The much-maligned Amber Heard is also back in spite of rumors that she had been fully dropped from the film, but the movie keeps her at arm's length even when it feels like she should be important to a scene. I presume this was done because the filmmakers have no idea whether or not the audience wanted them to keep her or not and they didn't want to risk any blowback, but it just muddies the waters in the narrative, causing the movie's flow to suffer. It's a rousing display of spectacle, but everything else it goes for just goes numb.
The Iron Claw
⭐⭐⭐
Genre: Drama, Sports
Director: Sean Durkin
Starring: Zac Efron, Holt McCallany, Jeremy Allen White, Harris Dickinson, Maura Tierney, Lily James, Stanley Simons
Zac Efron is headlining a movie with Oscar buzz behind it. This is the world we live in now.
The Iron Claw is a biopic dedicated to the careers of the Von Erich family of professional wrestlers, seeing them rise to stardom and how tragedy overtook the family in part due to the pressures of their driven father. It's an interesting story with horrible consequences, though as someone who has limited knowledge of wrestling (though I do know who Ric Flair is), it feels like the story is scrunched down and setting the pacing askew. The movie is very casual sports drama for the first half, then it just pummels the awful fates of these men in an overstuffed second half, which gives the impression that all of these events happened in close proximity when they were in fact years apart. One of the Von Erich brothers was even cut out of the movie entirely, because the filmmakers thought it would have been too much tragedy for one movie. My criticism of that is that it almost implies that his suffering is less important than the suffering of the rest of his family and is somewhat disrespectful. Regardless, the movie is a good watch for sports fans and people who like their movies with heavy, relentless drama. Zac Efron, who has gone from jacked hunk to full blown beefcake for this, gives what is probably the performance of his career. He's in a tricky position, because he is playing a character who subdues his emotions due to his upbringing and spends most of the film with people emoting at him instead. When the script actually lets him loose, he impresses. Maura Tierney also deserves a shout-out for making the most of limited screentime.
Migration
⭐⭐1/2
Genre: Comedy, Adventure
Director: Benjamin Renner
Starring: Kumall Nanjiani, Elizabeth Banks, Awkwafina, Keegan-Michael Key, David Mitchell, Carol Kane, Casper Jennings, Tresi Gazal, Danny DeVito
Illumination's second time at bat this year is their spin on a family road trip comedy, only with ducks. Migration tells tale of a family of mallards who migrate for the first time in their lives. Shenanigans ensue. It's a more properly cooked narrative than their first movie this year, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, but is also a less interesting experience. The series of vignettes that the group embark never feel strong enough to engross, though they're simple enough to entertain wee ones. I did enjoy how the filmmakers seemed to take inspiration from horror movies for their setpieces, such as Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Midsommar, and even the "To Serve Man" Twilight Zone episode, but, ultimately, I found the film too light to be fulfilling. I don't think the movie should have been more complicated, it's a kids' movie after all, but if it pushed its creativity a bit further than it did, this movie could have been something special.
Poor Things
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Genre: Comedy, Science Fiction
Director: Yorgos Lanthimos
Starring: Emma Stone, Willem Dafoe, Mark Ruffalo, Ramy Youseff, Christopher Abbott, Jerrod Carmichael
Yorgos Lanthimos is back after his success with his previous feature, the critical and audience favorite that also happened to be called The Favourite, this time putting his unique comedy chops behind a version of a Frankenstein tale. Poor Things is about a scientist who finds the body of a pregnant woman who committed suicide, only to reanimate her by transplanting the brain of her unborn child into her. The newfound infant in a woman's body experiences life at a rapid pace, learning as she goes through her unique life outlook. To lay my cards on the table, I wasn't a huge fan of The Favourite. That wasn't due to the lack of effort by everyone involved (Olivia Colman deserved that Oscar and I will fight anyone who disagrees), but rather I found that I didn't find the movie's tone and story to live harmoniously together. I did not have that problem with Poor Things. Poor Things is a circus freak show and Lanthimos's flamboyant idiosyncratic approach suits it wonderfully. It's an innocent, but odd, view of the world through the eyes of an innocent, but odd, character, showing us how she sees life, death, money, love, and so, so, so much sex (because once you discover what down there is for, it's hard to stop). Interestingly, it is also the story of a woman who is being guided by men in a male-dominated world, which leads her with questions about why life is the way it is and why she must conform to these rules, because they're contradictory and don't make sense. She never receives an explanation that she is satisfied with (but then again, have any of us?), though there is a touching story about a woman learning to be a woman at the heart of it.
Netflix & Chill
.Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire
⭐⭐1/2
Streaming On: Netflix
Genre: Science Fiction
Director: Zack Snyder
Starring: Sofia Boutella, Djimon Hounsou, Ed Skrein, Michiel Huisman, Doona Bae, Ray Fisher, Charlie Hunnam, Anthony Hopkins
I'm not going to lie, I was not looking forward to watching this movie. I almost didn't, but I had the time, it was there, and I do like to put a streaming option on these posts, so Rebel Moon it is. I'm not a huge fan of Zack Snyder, dating back to when I was underwhelmed by his otherwise praised Dawn of the Dead remake, followed by a similar experience with 300, and most recently with his previous Netflix production, the unreasonably boring Army of the Dead. Despite my lackluster response to all of those movies, Snyder's worst vices all take shape when he's left unchecked, with free-reign projects like the disastrous Sucker Punch and that brutal four-hour Justice League movie that desperately needed an editor. This two-part Rebel Moon movie had all the signs that it was going to be one of those. And it is. Surprisingly, it's also one of Snyder's better movies, too. I'm as shocked as you are.
Rebel Moon evidently started out as a Zack Snyder's pitch to Lucasfilm for his own Star Wars movie, where he used the universe to tell a sci-fi take on Seven Samurai. Neveryoumind that a sci-fi version of Seven Samurai already exists, and it's called Battle Beyond the Stars (it's a cheap Roger Corman production, but it's still a sci-fi Seven Samurai). One can see why Snyder's instincts of bringing Seven Samurai to the Star Was universe sound firm, as Star Wars had its inspiration in another Akira Kurosawa samurai classic, The Hidden Fortress, and regardless of the setting used (from the old west to a colony of ants), Seven Samurai is a really strong template for a movie. This first Rebel Moon movie starts off very well, allowing the "farming colony being bullied by outsiders" story to play out by letting the drama do the work. It starts to crumble upon itself when the hunt for protectors to fend off those who prey upon the weak storyline. The movie starts to get weighted down by exposition and Snyder starts to indulge in his trademark of using setpieces and designs that he thinks looks cool that don't really serve a logical purpose or service the film. Credit where credit is due, while this first film doesn't conclude its large narrative, it works better as a singular film than I expected it to (but I also expected Snyder to just cut one long movie in half and call it good, so my expectations were in the dirt). It actually finds a reasonable cut-off point that works as a cliffhanger but also concludes the "gathering of heroes" portion of the movie, while also ending with a large action sequence that is pretty entertaining. I am actually interested in watching Part Two, which is more interest than I had in watching Part One before it came out.
Movies Still Playing At My Theater
The Boy and the Heron ⭐⭐⭐1/2
Godzilla Minus One ⭐⭐⭐1/2
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (no)
Napoleon ⭐⭐1/2
Saltburn ⭐⭐⭐
Trolls Band Together ⭐⭐1/2
Wish ⭐⭐1/2
Wonka ⭐⭐⭐
New To Physical
Coming Soon!
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