Multiplex Madness
Slim pickings this week, I know. If only there was some major blockbuster sequel in a Hollywood franchise that came out this weekend, but, alas, there wasn't one that I saw. Nope. Not a single one. What a missed opportunity.
Oh wait, my mistake. There is one. It's called Trolls Band Together.
Next Goal Wins
⭐⭐1/2
Genre: Comedy, Sports
Director: Taika Watiti
Starring: Michael Fassbender, Oscar Knightly, Kaimana, David Fane, Rachel House, Beulah Koale, Elizabeth Moss, Will Arnett
Based on the almost inspiring story of how the American Samoa national soccer team banded together and aspired to not be the lowest ranked team in the league, Next Goal Wins stars Michael Fassbender as their temperamental coach Thomas Rogan, Kaimana as barrier breaking transgender player Jaiyah Saelua, and is directed by Taika Watiti. That last point might be what makes or breaks this film for most viewers, as he is in the middle of his career backlash phase, because he's an Oscar winner who isn't Martin Scorsese and has worked with Marvel Studios, therefore film bros have deduced that he must be destroyed. Next Goal Wins posted the weakest reviews of Watiti's career, and I don't necessarily know if that's anything substantial (I haven't seen every Watiti film, okay?), but the film is entertaining, if uneven. Watiti does have vices, and he loves to indulge in them. Sometimes to the detriment of the movie he's making, as he'll take away from a movie's structure, pacing, and substance for a sudden burst of silliness. Next Goal Wins suffers from a lot of that, because it often feels like its lost in the wind and it's hard to grasp its rhythm because it's opting not to have one. By the end of the movie, the story feels incomplete and we're told characters have opened up and changed without ever really witnessing it. Maybe that's because they didn't, because the achievement of the film is really just a bare minimum. These players didn't jump into the game and take it by storm. They just wanted to take a first step to not being a laughing stock. That might frustrate those hoping for a journey for these characters, but in some cases that first step is the hardest. There is a simple beauty to just having the dream of "just one goal." Next Goal Wins is a clumsy portrayal of it, but it comes close to hitting the net.
Thanksgiving
⭐⭐1/2
Genre: Horror, Comedy
Director: Eli Roth
Starring: Nell Verlaque, Patrick Dempsey, Addison Rae, Milo Manheim, Jalen Thomas Brooks, Rick Hoffman, Gina Gershon
Slowly but surely, the filmmakers who created trailers for the cult movie double feature Grindhouse are creating actual movies out of them, which has resulted in movies like Machete and Hobo with a Shotgun. Eli Roth steps up to the plate by turning his Thanksgiving trailer into a movie, which just leaves Edgar Wright and Rob Zombie to get off their asses to make this weird franchise complete. I actually have never seen Grindhouse or its associated movies, so I went into Thanksgiving very fresh faced. The premise takes place a year after a Black Friday sale left several dead and many injured, as a group of teens find themselves stalked by someone linked to the massacre. The movie would probably be nothing if it weren't for its cheekiness. It's intentionally written and presented like a second rate slasher movie from the 80's, so much so that the fact that it's a glossy, stylized movie set in the present day almost destroys it's vibe. But the movie's close mimicry of the feel of this type of movie is impressive, and the film's absurdist sense of humor just seasons it beautifully. It utilizes a lot of Thanksgiving tropes for silly themed ghoulishness, while the Black Friday opening is probably one of the most memorable uses of consumerism in horror to ever be filmed. The movie is cleverly funny in its fake sincerity, though I imagine those looking for an actual slasher movie will leave it angry.
Trolls Band Together
⭐⭐1/2
Genre: Comedy, Musical, Fantasy
Director: Walt Dahm
Starring: Anna Kendrick, Justin Timberlake, Amy Schumer, Camilla Cabello, Eric André, Troye Sivan, Kid Cudi, Daveed Diggs, RuPaul, Andrew Rannells, Zosia Mamet
I'm not sure if I ever saw the first Trolls movie in its entirety. I know I've seen parts of it, and I do know that the second one was one of the first movies I saw in theaters when they briefly reopened in 2020 during the pandemic, and while I wouldn't call that movie great, I did have a great time watching it. Now we have a third one. Okie dokie. This one is a premise in-joke of Justin Timberlake's Troll character of whatshisname needing to rejoin his family boy band in order to rescue their fifth brother from having his talent slowly drained by a couple of talentless pop stars. But plot is beside the point, because Troll movies are more about vibe than story. It's about colorful characters singing covers of pop tunes while the animators go crazy with aesthetic choices. That aesthetic is what makes a Trolls movie a blast to watch, this one featuring a velvet Muppet land and weird Popeye-like human characters. They're hollow goofball movies full of music. Kids will have fun, adults will probably smile, get a few laughs, and probably never think about it ever again. Until the next sequel, of course.
Art Attack
The Persian Version
⭐⭐⭐
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director: Maryam Keshavarz
Starring: Layla Mohammadi, Niousha Noor, Bijan Daneshmand, Bella Warda, Tom Byrne
Influenced by writer/director Maryam Keshavarz's real life familial bonds, The Persian Version tells the story of an Iranian-American lesbian who becomes pregnant after a one-night-stand with a drag performer (yes, she knows, she's not stupid), and as she carries the baby to term, she reevaluates her relationship with her own mother. The film owes a lot to its lively presentation, with the action pausing so our main character can address the audience by breaking the fourth wall and breaking down her life ala Clarissa Explains It All. The movie is vibrantly humorous, sometimes in a carefree way that might be crossing a line (there is an early joke in the movie where the punchline is the explosion of the Challenger, which...you know, you do you movie, but I personally would have avoided that). The movie is a audacious exploration of maternity, family, heritage, and sexuality, and how messy and complicated each can prove to be. None of the relationships in this movie are simple. Not even a traditional mother/daughter relationship. There is baggage on the table, and it's a movie that takes its time unpacking it, discovering the nuances to how our characters present themselves along the way. It's a journey that starts funny and gets heavier and more dramatic as it goes. While there are imperfections along the way, the movie leads up to its final scene, which is just a simple moment between a mother and daughter and one you might have already seen coming based on how the film played out. The two have just one exchange, but based on what we discover throughout the film, it was the perfect moment in between the two that means the entire world to them and it's one that will hit its audience like an emotional truckload of bricks. It's a precision moment for a tearjerker ending that movies like this can only dream of.
What Happens Later
Influenced by writer/director Maryam Keshavarz's real life familial bonds, The Persian Version tells the story of an Iranian-American lesbian who becomes pregnant after a one-night-stand with a drag performer (yes, she knows, she's not stupid), and as she carries the baby to term, she reevaluates her relationship with her own mother. The film owes a lot to its lively presentation, with the action pausing so our main character can address the audience by breaking the fourth wall and breaking down her life ala Clarissa Explains It All. The movie is vibrantly humorous, sometimes in a carefree way that might be crossing a line (there is an early joke in the movie where the punchline is the explosion of the Challenger, which...you know, you do you movie, but I personally would have avoided that). The movie is a audacious exploration of maternity, family, heritage, and sexuality, and how messy and complicated each can prove to be. None of the relationships in this movie are simple. Not even a traditional mother/daughter relationship. There is baggage on the table, and it's a movie that takes its time unpacking it, discovering the nuances to how our characters present themselves along the way. It's a journey that starts funny and gets heavier and more dramatic as it goes. While there are imperfections along the way, the movie leads up to its final scene, which is just a simple moment between a mother and daughter and one you might have already seen coming based on how the film played out. The two have just one exchange, but based on what we discover throughout the film, it was the perfect moment in between the two that means the entire world to them and it's one that will hit its audience like an emotional truckload of bricks. It's a precision moment for a tearjerker ending that movies like this can only dream of.
What Happens Later
⭐⭐
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director: Meg Ryan
Starring: Meg Ryan, David Duchovny
Meg Ryan directs this adaptation of a stage play called Shooting Star, though she missed a step in not retitling it When Mulder Met Sally. The film focuses on her and David Duchovny, two former lovers who happen to bump into each other at a snowed-in airport where all flights are delayed. While waiting for their flight they discuss their past with each other, their present without each other, and what the future might bring. Ryan goes for broke on making this the most cutesy movie to ever be given an R rating. And I get it. She's the romcom sweetheart of the 90's (at least, when Julia Roberts wasn't hogging the spotlight). Cutesy is what she does. My reservations about What Happens Later is that maybe she's chasing the wrong rabbit down the rabbit hole. I admire Ryan's certainty of what kind of movie she wants to make, but the more she doubles down on it the more it becomes clear that the movie just doesn't work. Ryan takes an almost fantastical approach to the subject, bringing about subjects of fate while the movie's airport surrounding almost feels surrealist. The only main character besides Ryan and Duchovny is a character on the intercom, who seems to be talking to them directly, while there are other touches that make the movie feel like a fairy tale, such as the airport seemingly emptying out to the point where Ryan and Duchovny are the only characters in it (plus there is also an ad for a movie that's just simply titled "Rom Com," and I can't tell if that's adorably cheeky or just absurdly lazy). I imagine Shooting Star was a better play than What Happens Later is as a movie, because I was constantly looking at scenes that thinking they felt like they'd work better on a stage than on a screen. But what the movie does do right is that to make an audience interested in a film that's just an extended conversation between two characters, you need to have two actors who are funny and engaging, which Ryan and Duchovny are. If the movie works in any of its moments, you can thank them.
Movies Still Playing At My Theater
The Creator ⭐⭐⭐1/2
The Holdovers ⭐⭐⭐
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (no)
Killers of the Flower Moon ⭐⭐⭐1/2
The Marvels ⭐⭐1/2
Priscilla ⭐⭐⭐
Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (probably)
New To Digital
The Creator ⭐⭐⭐1/2
New To Physical
The Equalizer 3 ⭐⭐⭐
The Nun II ⭐1/2
Coming Soon!
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