Multiplex Madness
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Science Fiction, Adventure
Director: Wes Ball
Starring: Owen Teague, Freya Allen, Kevin Durand, Peter Macon, Willam H. Macy
A lot of people my age grew up with franchises like Star Wars or Indiana Jones. I grew up with Godzilla and Planet of the Apes, so I tend to have stronger opinions on those movies than either of the former, though it always comes from a place of endearment. I've admittedly been spoiled for the last decade on both, being handed the blockbuster MonsterVerse and Ceasar trilogy. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes follows up the latter, getting elbow deep into what you could call Planet of the Apes proper, showing an up-and-running Apes society while humans live in the wild. That excited me, because it's amazing how few of the Apes movies really use that premise set up in the first movie (and none of them go full Pierre Boule novel and depict an advanced Ape culture).
Set centuries after Ceasar's death, Kingdom tells the story of an ape named Noa, who belongs to a tribe of apes who train eagles as companions. His clan is then taken captive by an army of colonialist apes who are hunting a human woman who has been hiding on the outskirts of their village. The film was directed by Wes Ball, whose filmography is practically limited to the Maze Runner movies and not much else. Ball sticks to what he knows and structures Kingdom like a young adult adventure novel. I imagine he might think he's playing to his strengths, but he is also inheriting their weaknesses in doing so. The movie can sometimes feel labored in establishing its worldbulding, which hits the opening half hour harder than the rest of the movie. The story of Noa and his little eagle egg is one great big giant "Who gives a shit?" piece trying to ease us into the movie. Ball feels more in-the-zone with the action, though when he slows down for drama, he is weighed down with heavy-handedness, pushing conflict that lacks power and twists that lack impact. And it's all littered with ambiguity, where elements of the story of left vague as threads for a sequel to cover when this film could really use an exploration of them to spice up its interest value. Because of that, Kingdom is a frustrating watch, though not a particularly terrible one. If anything, it falls in the middle of the pack of the ten-film Apes saga. It's a movie that wants to be a hint of more excitement to come, making sure we check out the next story, though more excitement is probably demanded in the moment.
Not Another Church Movie
⭐️1/2
Genre: Comedy
Director: Johnny Mack
Starring: Kevin Daniels, Jamie Foxx, Vivica A. Fox, Lamorne Morris, Tisha Campbell, Jasmine Guy, Lydia Styslinger, James Michael Cummings, Kyla Pratt, Mickey Rourke
Not Another Church Movie is a spoof of Tyler Perry's niche genre of faith dramedies targeted at Black audiences (particularly those that star his Madea character), of which I will admit to having limited-to-no experience with. I have, however, grown up with Airplane, The Naked Gun, Top Secret, and Hot Shots, so I'm intimately familiar with this brand of parody in top form, which is probably enough to know Not Another Church Movie isn't very good. The film has Jamie Foxx portraying God, who appears to "Tyler Pherry" and sets him on a mission to make a movie based on his family. But, really, the premise evades that whenever it feels like it and jumps all over the map. I'm pretty certain a lot of its vignettes take influence from Perry's filmography, but I'm probably the worst person to ask about how effectively it lampoons them, given my lack of familiarity. What does occur to me is that this movie seems to have missed the boat on mocking the tropes that created Perry's empire. I don't know the last time Tyler Perry's work really hit mainstream hard enough to warrant a parody like this. It doesn't look like he's ever stopped or paused (evidently, he's churning movies out at the Netflix factory now), so it's probably ignorant to say he's irrelevant today. At the same time, this movie feels about a decade too late to effectively tear into them. But Top Secret is a great parody, even though Elvis Presley's movie career had ended over a decade prior, so funny can transcend trendy when it's done well. Not Another Church Movie has a few gags that work by themselves and generate a chuckle, but the whole movie is an exorcise in throwing a lot of humor at a wall and hoping something lands. It pushes itself to cram as many jokes into itself as possible, but when it tends to go down the wrong path, it just belabors it, in hopes that maybe something can be mined from it. Mickey Rourke as the Devil, for example, contributes nothing to the movie except to be present. The joke is just that Mickey Rourke is the Devil. It's a joke that is made to just exist. I suppose most spoof movies are like that, but the good ones utilize their fun, offbeat tone to overcome their weaker gags. Not Another Church Movie feels more desperate than offbeat, which makes the lesser laughs sting more.
Poolman
⭐️⭐️
Genre: Comedy, Mystery
Director: Chris Pine
Starring: Chris Pine, Annette Bening, Danny DileVito, Jennifer Jason Leigh, DeWanda Wise, Stephen Tobolowsky, Clancy Brown, John Ortiz, Ray Wise, Juliet Mills, Ariana DeBose
I've been hearing lackluster things about Poolman for about a year now, when it was screened at TIFF and left the wrong type of impression on distributors. I knew very little about it except that it looked as if Chris Pine really wanted to play the Dude from The Big Lebowski. To be honest, that kind of sums up the entire movie, because it aspires real hard to be small-scale, quirky crime comedy of a ne'er-do-well stuck in a caper beyond his comprehension. I'm probably the wrong person to ask if he succeeded, though considering how scathing the response has been, he didn't. The movie sees Pine play a poolman who uncovers a town conspiracy and fumbles his way into discovering more. Pine is suitably goofy and hapless, but he's not really that funny. His antics feel more like something that makes Pine snicker to himself rather than something that actually is a large-scale laugh-getter. There are some character choices that are just odd, like his weird obsession with Erin Brockovich, to the point that he sends her constant fan mail. I'm not entirely sure what that adds to the movie, but clearly Pine thought it was really funny. It's not unfunny, I guess, but the movie is littered with things that more random than comedy, and it's done with such earnestness that I feel Pine is trying wrap it around into something hilarious. His effort grows tiresome the more it goes on. But I don't feel good for kicking this movie. I don't even think it's that the movie is that bad. If nothing else, it's confident and tenacious. It just never snaps into place.
Movies Still Playing At My Theater
Abigail ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Challengers ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Civil War ⭐️⭐️1/2
Dune: Part Two ⭐⭐1/2
The Fall Guy ⭐️⭐️
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire ⭐️⭐️1/2
Kung Fu Panda 4 ⭐⭐1/2
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace ⭐️⭐️1/2
Tarot ⭐️⭐️
Unsung Hero ⭐️1/2
Wicked Little Letters ⭐️⭐️1/2
New To Digital
Abigail ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Housekeeping for Beginners ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Wicked Little Letters ⭐️⭐️1/2
Coming Soon!
