MST3K, RiffTrax, and Beyond: Cinema Playground Journal 2024: Week 33 (My Cinema Playground)

Multiplex Madness

Alien: Romulus

⭐️⭐️1/2

Genre: Horror, Science Fiction

Director: Fede Álvarez

Starring: Cailee Spaeny, David Jonnson, Archie Renaux, Isabela Merced, Spike Fearn, Aileen Wu

Hot off of Disney successfully revitalizing the Predator franchise with Prey a few years back, they are seeking to reinvest the audience with the Alien series. It's probably debatable as to which series had more baggage, as Alien needed to make-up for a largely disapproved trilogy capper, two franchise mashes, and whatever the hell franchise creator Ridley Scott was trying to do with his bizarre creative choices for his prequel films. But then again, the Predator franchise had The Predator, which is probably the biggest blowhard failure of the entire lot.

Don't Breathe director Fede Álvarez tries not to overthink things, which is probably more often than not the issue a lot of Alien movies run into. He goes for a back-to-basics approach, trapping people on a spaceship, but also on board are, get this...

There is very little innovation at play, so anybody looking for that will leave without satisfaction. Álvarez even goes for nostalgia callbacks that will either make you laugh or make you groan. The bigger positive is that Alien: Romulus is a stylish and exciting execution of a threadbare story. Álverez knows how to rev up a movie through its visual flair and craft spellbinding suspense. The problem that Alien: Romulus grapples with is that it successfully stimulates itself but only succeeds in utilizing that to run in circles. There is only so much that the movie is willing to do, and Álvarez treats the movie like more of a franchise reintroduction than a new chapter. The film only sheds its safety net in its finale, where Álvarez goes full Cronenbergian body horror in probably its most surprising and startling sequence. But I find myself torn on the whole ordeal, because it feels confined for the majority of its runtime and finally allowed to be itself in its conclusion, while never gelling as a whole. Romulus may prove to be solid enough to be a shot-in-the-arm for its franchise, but not good enough to be a series highlight.

My Penguin Friend

⭐️⭐️

Genre: Drama

Director: David Schurmann

Starring: Jean Reno, Adrianna Barraza

Based on a true story of man and penguin living together in tranquility, My Penguin Friend features Jean Reno nursing a migrating penguin, who his fishing village names DinDim, back to health. DinDim returns annually to visit his human friend in the years since. It's a cute story that tries to coast on cute vibes. The movie is sweet-natured to the point that it might be possible to contract diabetes from it. It's one thing to make a movie based on that, but the movie's true life story struggles to adapt to a narrative flow. The movie attempts a traditional three-act structure, but it collapses onto itself because each act is a visit to the village by DinDim andit accelerates the story to a point where it's skipping logic. DinDim becomes a viral sensation that is said to "visit every year" after appearing only twice, before a pattern is established. The third visit has everyone waiting on a beach for him as if his appearance can be predicted down to the minute, which is complete nonsense. This isn't even mentioning the fact that the little girl who names the penguin doesn't age over the span of three years, which is usually the sign of a movie trying to mask its low budget with schmaltz. The epic climax has Jean Reno becoming so worried about DinDim that he leads a search party into the sea, rowing around in a fraction of the 5,000 mile span of the Atlantic Ocean where DinDim could possibly be and calling out "DINDIM!" as if the penguin would call back. In a non-bullshit narrative, this would accomplish absolutely nothing, but somehow they successfully find the penguin, so what do I know? The movie is successfully cute enough to charm those looking for a new Free Willy type of movie to watch with their kids, but cute only coasts it so far.

Skincare

⭐️⭐️1/2

Genre: Mystery, Comedy

Director: Austin Peters

Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Lewis Pullman, Michaela Jaé Rodreguez, Luis Gerardo Méndez, Nathan Fillion, John Billingsley

Meandering, satirical black comedy sees Elizabeth Banks playing the "queen of skincare," who finds her claim to fame threatened when a competing business opens across the street and her paranoia grows as her workplace is sabotaged in various ways. The movie is interesting, though the flow of its thriller and mystery elements doesn't have a satisfactory momentum, while its comedy is more a cheeky tonal underlining than anything actually amusing. Elizabeth Banks is well utilized, both when she's working more subtly or going for something broad. She's constantly magnetic in this movie. A more efficient movie might have weilded her as a force to be reckoned with.

Movies Still Playing At My Theater

Borderlands ⭐️⭐️

Cuckoo ⭐️⭐️1/2

Deadpool & Wolverine ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

Despicable Me 4 ⭐️⭐️1/2

Harold and the Purple Crayon ⭐️1/2

Inside Out 2 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

It Ends with Us ⭐️⭐️

Longlegs ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

A Quiet Place: Day One ⭐️⭐️

Trap ⭐️⭐️

Twisters ⭐️⭐️