Saturday, May 5, 2018

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (Rifftrax)


Film Year:  2002
Genre:  Fantasy, Science Fiction
Director:  George Lucas
Starring:  Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Frank Oz, Temuera Morrison, and Ahmed Best as Jar Jar Binks
Rifftrax Year:  2007
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Chad Vader

The Movie


*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*

Begun the fan wars has.


This fifth...uh, second...Star Wars film has Anakin Skywalker a much older Jedi in training, learning the ways of the Force under Obi Wan Kenobi.  As Kenobi catches wind of a strange plot involving the mysterious creation of a clone army, Anakin is tasked with protecting Padme, the former queen of Naboo.  This of course leads to the two humping like jackrabbits.  As the mysterious Sith begin to rise again in the form of Count Dooku, the Jedi and the Republic forget any sort of questions they have about the creation of the clone army and just use the damn things to fight the newly launched Clone Wars.

Attack of the Clones in many ways might be a more inane movie than Phantom Menace, though personally I find it a bit more entertaining.  The special effects are just assaulting in this movie, because they're bloody everywhere and they're always damn obvious.  Lucas even decides it's in the movie's best interest to not construct Clone Trooper costumes and just make them all CGI for no reason, no matter what the scene.

That.
Is.
HILARIOUS.

I mean, that's not using CG because you need to.  That's using it because you can and NOBODY CAN STOP YOU!

Much has been made of the acting of Hayden Christensen, so I'm not going to make a big deal out of it.  It's true he's bad in this movie, though I've seen him in other films where he's been a more than capable actor.  Just about everyone seems to be struggling to come out of this script unscathed, with the exception of Christopher Lee.  Christopher Lee has worked magic with much worse material than this.

I can see why Attack of the Clones might come off as obnoxious.  It's excess created by an artist who seems to understand emotion but not actual emoting.  It's really a fault I have with all of the Star Wars films, or at least the ones Lucas has touched.  But for the most part I find this movie enjoyably goofy and ostentatious, and at times unintentionally hilarious so I can't hate it.


The Trax


"She's in pain."
"She's not the only one."

I was no huge fan of the Phantom Menace riff, so I think my expectations were suitably low for Attack of the Clones.  As it begins it feels like more of the same, not so much actual comedy but more anger being directed at the movie.  As the film goes on it slips into strong sarcasm, but by the end it feels as if they're trying a bit harder to work with the film for humorous bits around it instead of just attacking it.

All told, Attack of the Clones is a huge improvement, though an uneven experience.  Aside from learning to not be on the offense, the biggest hurdle Mike and Kevin seem to be facing is the length of the film, which is over two hours and twenty minutes.  While the humor has moments of strong hilarity, the bloat of the film makes these points more spread out than I'm honestly comfortable with.  It'd be easy for me to blame the riff for this for not being consistent enough, but I think it has more to do with the film itself.  It's a long movie with long mundane sequences, and if something is mundane it's hard to make it funny.

"Do we have any idea who is fighting who?"
"Yes.  The director is fighting the audience and the audience is fighting back."
"Who's winning?"
"20th Century Fox."

Oh by the way, there's a guest riffer too.  This guy calls himself Chad Vader and is supposedly the star of a self-titled comedy web series where he plays the brother of Darth Vader.  I am not familiar with it, nor do I really care all that much.  Chad offers very little to this riff and doesn't really riff in the traditional sense.  He seems to be there so they have something to do when the movie gives them footage that isn't really worth commenting on, so they turn to Chad and chat with him about the Star Wars universe.  I get what they're going for, though these points are moderately amusing at best.

Attack of the Clones is a bit of a coin flip between a recommended rating and something more meh.  In my final conclusion I find that if the film were leaner then some of the better comedy might run closer together and the flow would be there.  Because of this I really can't say this is one to skip, because the laughs are there and they are pretty strong.  Just be forewarned that this one is a bit of a hike.

Note:  If you thought Lucas never fucked with the prequels, think again.  While from my understanding differences between the DVD and blu-ray versions of Attack of the Clones are minimal, changes have been made.  All in all the blu-ray version runs seven seconds longer than the DVD, of which the latter is what the Rifftrax syncs best to.  While I imagine drift is minimal and there won't be much of anything different the jokes comment on, if one wants the purest version of the riff possible stick with the DVD.

Good

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