Friday, June 12, 2020

Shorts Volume 3 (MST3K Special)



One of the more frustratingly uneven shorts compilations (Shout Factory's Commando Cody collection is likely the lowest in quality), Shorts Volume 3 is full of some gems and a few leftovers that hadn't been released yet.  Cutting to the chase, Speech:  Using Your Voice, Is This Love?, Design For Dreaming, and Once Upon a Honeymoon are all exceptional and must sees for any MST.  Draining from some enthusiasm is that Design for Dreaming was double dipped in Mr. B's Lost Shorts.

While these shorts all receive top marks, sucking enthusiasm out of this compilation are The Selling Wizard and Out of This World, which are two of the blandest shorts featured on the series, and compiling the back to back makes this set of shorts hit a dead end.  The plus side is that Once Upon a Honeymoon follows them up and lights up the room again.

And then there is Aquatic Wizards.  That short exists.  Yes, indeed.  It neither adds nor subtracts from the experience, though Shorts Volume 3 is a laugh riot for a good while before winding down for it's build up to its big finish.  Are we still enthused for that big finish, or are we ready for the experience to be over with?  That's up to you.




Speech:  Using Your Voice
Original Episode:  Earth vs. the Spider

"I said MISTER I said thi...::cough:: this inn't your seat you see I've been sittin' here a whole lot longer than you seemed to think I have..."

Listening to this guy is like my life story, man.

Listen, we all talk.  That doesn't mean we can all do it well.  Hell, we all probably suck at it.  That's why I have a blog and not a vlog, because nobody wants to hear me ramble.  Reading it is perfectly fine, though.  Speech:  Using Your Voice gives us helpful tips on how to present your words in a more precise and interesting manner to help captivate your audience.

Now, pardon me as I ignore every one of them.

That's not to say the advice isn't sound, as it likely is.  But the examples of careless speaking in this short are so hilarious that no matter how much the short tries to portray them as "boring and uninteresting," I can't help but be more enchanted by them than the examples of proper speaking.  Therefor I use them as my speech teachers and not the narrator.  Life's more fun that way.

We've got a short with plenty of "lip 'n' tongue action!"  Speech:  Using Your Voice gets the compilation off to a rousing start with a small instructional film that is really just a gift from the heavens.  There is so much to comment on here, as it's constantly using exaggerated speech examples which, to be honest, are kind of funny on their own.  It doesn't take much for Joel and the Bots to latch onto these examples and give them a good working over.  Plus the introspection of the short is properly played with, as they add on to the advice given in their own fun ways.

Aquatic Wizards
Original Episode:  Teenage Caveman

This short is one of those sports reels that shows off a bunch of people engaging in physical activities with daffy grins on their faces.  In this case it's water skiing, and we get to thrill to various tricks and waterplay.

It is what it is.  Back in the day before watching the Super Bowl in your own home, the only ways to watch sports was either to see them in person or to go out to the theater and see a reel like this with humorous (?) narration.  Back then it was likely more amusing than it is now, where you can watch water tricks on YouTube.

The short's riffing vibe mostly stays pleasant throughout it's brief stay.  The commentary mostly adds to the soundless pantomime of the skiers on display, having fun with the playful tricks, and quick-talking narrator.  It's workmanlike stuff, but it's an effective use of theater-time that keeps viewers amused.

Is This Love?
Original Episode:  Teen-Age Strangler

This first short of the Mike era is sex ed, 50’s style, where sexual relations don’t exist and men and women only get married because they find the other totally keen.  Peg and Joe are college students but have just gotten engaged and their family is concerned that they might be rushing into the commitment.  The short consists of people trying to talk sense into the young couple, only to have them elope in the end and drop out of college anyway.

The short was obviously meant to stimulate discussion in a classroom, as the teacher is supposed to ask the student whether Peg and Joe did the right thing.  It’s possible that the intent was for there to not be a right or wrong answer and let the viewer draw their own conclusions, but in the context of the film itself it seems to me that Peg and Joe are both stubborn and not too bright.  Maybe college wasn’t the best place for them after all, yet the idea of these two lunkheads breeding doesn’t appeal to me either.

Maybe that was intentional too, to sway toward the side of them being brash so they can plant the chastity seed in the heads of teenagers.  Whatever the reason, the short works well enough for its purpose, but its grey area needs work.

The riffing on the short is terrific, as our boys mock the simplistic affair with the greatest of ease.  I especially love their listing of made up short names during the end credits.

Design for Dreaming
Original Episode:  12 to the Moon

Did those salesmen from Hired! just not sell you on buying a Chevrolet car?  Well the good people at General Motors are here to try to sell you more!  In Design for Dreaming a dancing couple head to the FUTURE...of the past, and tour Motorama, looking at a bunch of neat gizmos and some shiny new automobiles.

There's not much meat on the bones of Design for Dreaming.  It's a song and dance number that's trying to sell product.  It's surreal and imaginatively shot, and the beat is catching.  Try not to get too weirded-out by it and you might enjoy yourself.

There is a companion short called A Touch of Magic.  This short was riffed by Rifftrax in their Summer Shorts Beach Party Live show.

Design for Dreaming is constantly in motion and giving Mike and the Bots different and weird imagery to work with.  This is pretty much T-ball, but a home run is a home run.  This short is the equivalent of a sugar rush and once the ball is rolling there is no stopping the energy in the room.  This is one of my favorite shorts in the series, with catchy musical numbers, eye candy, and hilarious riffs perfectly in tune with the material.

The Selling Wizard
Original Episode:  The Dead Talk Back

For those store-owners who need to know the importance keeping food fresh and cool with attractive packaging, this short is for you.  We see a large selection of refrigeration and freezing units as well as how it might display one's product.

And speaking of attractive packaging, here's a model in a skimpy outfit to guide us every step of the way.

For those maybe interested in how your fridge cools food down, this might be a helpful guide.  Though it's primary focus is to sell coolers to stores who might need them, but let's face facts, these models are long since out of production.  So the last point of interest for those who don't care is a pretty woman in a dress.  Yay!

The Selling Wizard isn't a short I remember much when I think back over the show.  Watching again now it occurs to me that it's probably because of how talky it is, and the riffers can hardly get a word in edgewise.  There are definite moments where they drop to silence and just kind of listen to the short because they can't fit a joke in, which is sometimes frustrating.  What material that does get through is uneven, though there are some nice laughs.  It's not the worst short of the series (my personal vote goes to Junior Rodeo Daredevils on that one), though it's toward the bottom.

Out of This World
Original Episode:  High School Big Shot

Bread, an important food and a healthy food.  This of course was filmed pre-Gluten-Free-mania.

Out of This World is an instructional short put forth to train vendors of bread and other baked goods of how to properly stock and sell their products while maintaining good relations with the stores you service.  It just does so with an ill-conceived attempt at a “story.”  It turns out that the war between Heaven and Hell only boils down to one thing:  bread vendors.  The collection of these particular souls shall populate the armies of the angels and demons when they wage war come Apocalypse.  In the meantime, a deceptive little devil makes a bet with a sexy angel that one particular bread vendor is on his way to Hell due to poor salesmanship.  The angel disagrees and visits our resident bread vendor as he goes about his daily business.

One thing that can be claimed about this short is that it does get its point across, and pushes some helpful tips to those who it’s instructing.  However it’s bogged down by too much nonsense in its attempted “storyline.”  The Angel and Devil characters slow the short down and make it feel like it’s been forever when it finally gets its point across.  And the whole angelic and demonic thing itself is a bit overthinking how you’re presenting your subject.  I’d argue that if they wanted to go for the “good vs. evil” motif, a much easier way to do it would have been by presenting the Angel and the Devil as the two sides of a conscience instead of an actual angel and devil.  It would abbreviate exposition and get straight to the point.

Tom Servo pretty much nails the intent of the short with his final riff as he leaves the theater, mimicking a gruff head honcho laughing about how hot the lead actress was and then reiterating the points the short made.  There’s pretty much no other way it could have played out in that room.

This short is merely adequate.  It’s not that Out of This World doesn’t give them openings, and it’s not that Mike and the bots don’t take the openings, but it seems like there is a gross overestimation of just how funny they can make this short.  While the short itself is silly, it goes in circles and often displays scenes that are pretty much exactly the same over and over again.  Perhaps it’s the Starfighters of shorts, only with more purpose.  Riffing makes you smile, rarely rising to the occasion of an all-out laugh.

Once Upon a Honeymoon
Original Episode:  Night of the Blood Beast

Strange, strange, STRANGE short about a housewife constantly daydreaming of kitchen appliances and telephones while her husband is forced to postpone their honeymoon until he is done writing a song.  An angel pushes the plot along by sprinkling confetti all over the place.

Promotional shorts like this weren’t uncommon, but I’m not quite sure what this one is selling.  Maybe the kitchen appliances or the telephones, but let’s be honest, I wouldn’t be in a buying spirit after watching this because I don’t really know what it was trying to sell me.  The short feels as if it’s a bit too concerned with entertaining than selling.  If you like random breaking out into song and dance, this short will have your attention.

That’s kind of a pro in this short’s favor; that it almost has the flavor of an old MGM musical short from the 1930’s, only done much, much cheaper.  But it doesn’t have much of a narrative hook to engage its audience, and doesn’t effectively sell the product it’s showcasing.  That unfortunately makes Once Upon a Honeymoon useless.

Once Upon a Honeymoon is an exquisite short, which Mike and the bots embrace for all its oddities.

The DVD

The compilation was released on DVD by Rhino as a special online exclusive through their website on orders of The Essentials collection.  I unfortunately do not own this disc, but from what I hear there are no special features.  Shout Factory also released it on their Singles Collection set, with crisp audio and video.  There were also no special features.

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