Genre: Fantasy, Science Fiction
Director: J.J. Abrams
Starring: Carrie Fisher stock footage delivering static lines, Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Issac, Adam Driver, Ian McDiarmid, Anthony Daniel, Keri Russel, Domhnall Gleeson, Lupita Nyong'o, and ghostly cameos by Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford (and behind that tree over there is Kelly Marie Tran)
Rifftrax Year: 2020
Riffers: Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett
The Movie
Boy, if there was ever a filmed metaphor for the implosion of the Star Wars franchise, The Rise of Skywalker is it.
So, the story of this mess is that Kylo Ren is now leading the First Order and doesn't wish to be challenged, so he hunts down Emperor Palpatine who is still alive...I guess, but winds up his new apprentice instead, because Kylo Ren is an easily manipulated idiot. Meanwhile, the Resistance continues to build their numbers and Rey continues her Jedi training from Leia (RIP Carrie Fisher). Rey, Poe, and Finn then go on a series of McGuffin quests to find things that will lead them to Emperor Palpatine and hopefully end the war.
So this is how Star Wars dies...by a wet fart...
I have no stake in whether or not a Star Wars movie is good, but The Rise of Skywalker is a grueling watch. It's a panicked movie that hurriedly runs back and forth to appease a fanbase that seemingly is unappeasable. It's attempt at a gear shift to try and tie up plot lines while burning off what fans whined about previously simultaneously is frustrating, because it becomes clear that the movie doesn't have the balls to let its story play out. It wants to be a "correction" and not a movie. And for that "correction" they conclude the series needs to abandon ship on all original plotlines and just redo what previous films have done but with more expensive effects. That's the underlining thing that bores me about Star Wars, when it can't find a way to make its story compelling, it falls back on being a familiar sound and light show. It's a pretty sound and light show, but there is nothing worth giving a shit about here. And The Rise of Skywalker is the biggest sound and light show of the bunch.
I don't care how much you hate The Last Jedi, but let's take it out of the equation. What exactly did these sequel films add in the long run? The original Star Wars was the story of Luke, a dreamer on a desert planet who is swept up in an intergalactic war, learns he has lineage in the Dark Side, chooses to turn his back on it and become a Jedi, while an old man bellows at him "Strike me down!" to annoy him into becoming a Sith, and concludes when the old man's former partner betrays the Dark Side to save the day. The long awaited sequel trilogy is about Rey, who is a dreamer on a desert planet who is swept up in an intergalactic war, then she learns that she has lineage in the Dark Side (she legitimately has an "I am your (grand)father" moment in this film), and chooses to turn her back on it and become a Jedi, while an old man bellows at her "Strike me down!" to annoy her into becoming a Sith and the old man's former partner betrays the Dark Side to save the day.
Boy, I'm so glad Disney bought Star Wars. That way we can get new stories like this!
Seriously. What was the point of these sequel films if they were just going to remake the original films? The Last Jedi at least took a swing and did something original. Admittedly I gave The Force Awakens a pass in spite of its derivative nature, but that was mostly because I was enjoying the new cast and the fresh flavor they were giving to the film. I still like the cast, because these are great actors, but they look defeated in this movie. Like they were swept up in a production that was working to make a release date placeholder and not an actual conclusion to their story. There is nothing about what The Rise of Skywalker sets out to do that deserves any sort of respect, and it certainly doesn't show why Star Wars is the most popular film franchise of all time. The best I can say about previous Star Wars movies is that I came out of them thinking "I had fun." When I walked out of this, I just felt tired. And I had to deal with hoards of friends trying to convince me to watch The Mandalorian, to which I declined by saying "I just can't even with this franchise right now." I still haven't seen The Mandalorian, and that's unlikely to change any time soon, no matter how good it might be.
Is it Star Wars fatigue? I'll be honest and say I don't get fatigued on things easily. If you get fatigued on something it's your own damn fault for not watching something your more interested in at the moment instead of watching something to bitch about how you don't want to watch it anymore. I ask for things to be entertaining or interesting. But the one thing I will say about Disney's run on Star Wars is that they came in way too hot. On paper, Star Wars seems like the one franchise that should be able to achieve a "one event film a year" status that a lot of franchises are trying to do in the wake of the Marvel Cinematic Universe's consistent success. While it seemed like they were going to pull it off for a while, production on new Star Wars seems to have been put in motion before an actual vision for it was achieved. Too many creative voices from separate directions were hired and reportedly fired to the point where it became clear that no clear plan was in place. The Rise of Skywalker seems like a natural conclusion to this disastrous planning method, because they have the conclusion to the sequel trilogy and their "Skywalker Saga" and they won't budge it from their filmmaking factory schedule of "Pump one out a year!" It has to come out on a certain date, even if we have to drastically restructure it in the wake of three things: 1) The loss of their director (but what Star Wars film hasn't lost a director at this point), 2) the untimely death of Carrie Fisher, and 3) the unforeseen mass rejection of The Last Jedi. You have to fix all of this within an accelerated production schedule that would be unhealthy for even a more organized production.
You know what other movie went through this? Justice League. Maybe The Rise of Skywalker is a better film in the end than that mess, but if your movie production starts to resemble that film in any sort of way, you really need to stand to the side, take a breath, and reassess what you're doing. I don't care how powerful your studio is, that's a more important lesson to learn than pleasing a bunch of manbabies who scream "I hate PORGS!"
The most telling thing about my opinion on this movie is that I saw it the same weekend I saw the much maligned film adaptation of Cats. I'd rather watch Cats again. At least that was a laugh.
The Trax
"Sand and podracing. Finally something new with this franchise."
I had so little desire to rewatch The Rise of Skywalker that I had some serious questions in my head if I was actually going to go through with my annual May the 4th Star Wars post this year. Star Wars has hardly been Rifftrax's most consistent series. The last two riffs weren't outstanding by any stretch, and even looking back to the riffs of the original trilogy, they peter out pretty hard. If I find I have any desire for Rifftrax to continue riffing the series, it's because Star Wars is the most iconic film series of all time, and Rifftrax's ability to riff literally any movie they desire has always led them to it, and I think all Rifftrax fans want to see riffs for these movies even if Rifftrax's riffing format has been moving away from these types of riffs for about ten years now. A Star Wars riff has always seemed to be an important event, even if it hardly ever is a home run.
"The Force: Sure, yeah, it can do that."
Luckily, Rise of Skywalker is one of their better attempts at the Star Wars franchise, as its chaotic storyline lends itself to some high quality ribbing. It's not unusual for a Rifftrax riff to have its comedians "play stupid," as if they're left confused and bewildered by a film, even if it's a fairly simple affair. It doesn't always work for them, but Rise of Skywalker is pretty much the correct choice for the approach, because it abandons ship on so many storylines from the previous films and goes on a "RUSH RUSH RUSH" nonsense storyline of its own. Mike, Kevin, and Bill sound as if they're trying to follow it, but mostly feel defeated by it. I sympathize so much with them so much.
"I'm the spy!"
"Oh of course! The killing of billions of people in the first film was a part of his cover!"
The detriment of the film to the Rifftrax is the length of the film, much like Attack of the Clones and The Last Jedi. It's very difficult to maintain a laugh quota for a movie that drones on for two and a half hours. But they wisely turn it into a bit of a gag as well. There's a slight quip by Mike about halfway through, leading to Mike giving himself a weak laugh and whining "It's so long." There are a few more observations about how endless the film is, but mostly the spirit level is maintained quite a great deal. This probably has the most consistent entertainment value of any Star Wars riff since Revenge of the Sith or the Holiday Special, making it's dragging runtime a bit breezy (and believe me, this movie needed to be breezy). I'd say it's probably the best of the Disney Star Wars riffs, which it's only challenged by The Force Awakens. It's a tight race, but I'd give the edge to Rise of Skywalker if only because its a better merger of inane film with heckling.
Also, for sensitive viewers, it is best to be forewarned that there are jokes at the expense of Carrie Fisher's untimely passing. It's actually evident that they're willing to go there pretty early on, because they reference in the opening crawl, of all things. While this might seem tasteless at first, to be fair it's kind of hard to ignore the elephant in the room, especially when the movie works so hard and fails so miserably to work in archive footage of her into it. The fact of the matter is every scene with her is so stilted, and everyone sharing dialogue with her looks like they're talking to a brick wall, so I'm going to consider the event fair game for comedy because it's a genuine flaw in the movie.
There is a certain spirit that I feel is lacking from Star Wars riffs. For the most part, Star Wars films are competent (Holiday Special notwithstanding). With Rise of Skywalker they're faced with a movie that's practically a disaster, and their treatment of it as such really makes it work. Watching all of the Star Wars riffs has been a lengthy, sometimes thankless road, but if they were all leading up to this one, then it was worth it.
Good
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