Beginning Responsibility: Taking Care of Things (RiffTrax Shorts)

RiffTrax Year:  2022

Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

First they taught me how to take care of my own things, now I have to take care of other things as well...I CAN'T CARRY THE WHOLE WORLD ON MY GODDAMN SHOLDERS!

This is actually a much earlier version of the other Beginning Responsibility film Taking Care of Your Own Things, because every generation of slacker, sloppy losers needs one.  Here we have the story of Andy who lost all his friends because his pencil needed to be sharpened, and tried to make a new one on the way home but failed because his pet tadpoles are dead and he couldn't find his "special present."  I don't want to think about everything the term "special present" could entail (it could just be more dead tadpoles) but here we are pondering it anyway.  Mother is also here to explain to Andy that his things will start going missing like that if he doesn't take care of them, which sends Andy on a journey of self-discovery which may end with living tadpoles.

Pretty self-explanatory look at how more care for your material possessions leads to longer lasting material possessions, and also a good indicator to make sure your pet isn't dying.  Beginning Responsibility:  Taking Care of Things is a bit childish in relating its story as all it takes for a child's friends and teacher to turn on him is apparently needing a pencil sharpener, but the moral is well meaning, and if it means more children actually fed their pets rather than letting them starve to death then this short is very welcome.

Mike, Kevin, and Bill love how the entire world has turned on Andy for minor things, as Bill points out early on  "Whoa!  From broken pencil to friendless loser...that got dark real quickly!"  Andy's desperation for a new friend also becomes the target of their fodder, as the fumbling Andy just screws it up at every turn.  "Everyone knows you only get one chance with Fred and you blew it!"  And of course the riffs turn dark as soon as dead pet tadpoles enter the short...

"And here are Andy's tadpoles.  Oh!  They're dead!"

"'I never implied they weren't,' says Andy."

This short is pretty much just ten minutes of picking on the poor kid, which may be kind of mean but this short was from seventy years ago and I doubt the geriatric Andy cares today, so I declare it a solid hoot.  After all, the kid finally finds his "special present" shoved under a tree.  Is there really hope for the kid?

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