Rattlers (Cinematic Titanic Live)

Film Year:  1976

Genre:  Horror

Director:  John McCauley

Starring:  Sam Chew, Elizabeth Chauvet, Tony Ballen, Dan Priest, Ron Gold, Darwin Joston, Gary Van Ormand

CT Number:  12

The Movie

Just when you thought Anaconda was the dumbest killer snake movie out there, Rattlers is like "Hold my beer."  This totally trashy 70's horror flick sets dozens of rattlesnakes loose in the California desert attacking many townsfolk.  A herpetologist is called in to investigate, reluctantly teaming up with a feminist photographer that he is totally going to bang before the end credits.  As their search continues they discover there may be more to this snake story than just snakebites.

Rattlers is one of those killer critter pictures released in the aftermath of Jaws trying to capitalize on its success.  This production just happened to draw "snakes" out of the hat and is pushed out into the desert setting.  That setting is probably the one thing this movie has going for it in terms of mood, because the characters being surrounded by empty nothing full of death is actually a decently spooky backdrop.  It works much better for the movie Tremors, mind you, but Rattlers has an idea.  It doesn't know what to do with it but it has one.

Rattlers' primary faults lie with failure to balance plot with mayhem.  The movie has a lot of its protagonists just wandering around wondering what to do and it largely goes nowhere a lot of the time.  Interjecting itself into that narrative are various scenes of characters we've never seen before getting attacked by snakes.  It's hard to care for empty characters that may or may not have names that stumble upon snakes, screaming, then feinting dead because snake bites kill you instantly in this universe(?).  The acting doesn't do a lot to sell any of this either, as everyone looks wooden or as if they're just here to get paid.  Our leads look disinterested the entire movie, and when they try to portray sexual tension it just feels dirty, like they had to fuck because the person in front of them is the only option.

The use of real snakes can be a virtue in Rattlers, and if there were any fake rubber ones then they're hard to point out.  The editing is what cheapens the creatures in this film, as they often feel like they're never in the same scene as the actors.  Then we start to discover the big explanation for why all the snakes be big mad and are seeking out people to bite, which of course is a toxic waste disposal because that's the fun answer that these movies like to fall back on without creativity.  1980's Alligator is a fun example of that.  Rattlers is not.  Rattlers is a movie that implies snakes doing things you wouldn't normally assume a snake could do, like blowing a tire out on a jeep.  How the snake blew the tire is up to the imagination because Rattlers damn sure doesn't want to answer that question itself.

The Live Show

And thus our journey on the Cinematic Titanic ends.  Three more shows were put together, but none were filmed (though fan-made audio of The Astral Factor does exist) and Rattlers was the last DVD release of the troop before it disbanded.  It's sad to see them go, because the crew always had steady charisma even when the material was straining under the weight of the movie.  Unfortunately Rattlers isn't a very good last impression either.

To be honest, I think I've only seen this riff once and that was when the DVD first came out.  I might have watched it a second time since but I can't be sure.  My memory of Rattlers was that it was a drag of a movie, not really all that funny, and just was a tiresome watch as a whole.  Popping this live show in again for the first time in about a decade kind of surprised me in that I actually was laughing more than I ever gave this riff credit for.  J. Elvis, in particular, is in top form during this show and delivers some of the best lines, while Trace isn't too shabby either.  I was starting to think maybe I was wrong about this one.

But after about a half hour, amusement starts to dim and this experience feels a bit like it's getting drug through the desert this movie is set in.  A lot of the bigger laughs from the audience seem to come at the expense of the movie, which features a lot of absurd moments that pop out of nowhere like soldiers opening fire at snakes inside of a tent or just weird expressions on actor's faces.  Frank even throws out a pandering Eegah callback of "Watch out for snakes!" because why wouldn't he?  There's effort, but the movie really isn't that fun nor is it often very fun to make fun of which makes this one an uphill battle.

Funnily enough, one of the last quips at this movie's expense is J. Elvis mocking the cliffhanger ending claiming "Some dipshit thought they'd make a sequel."  Oddly this movie did get a sequel, but not until after even Cinematic Titanic did their take on it.  Independent underground filmmaker Dustin Ferguson made a Rattlers 2 which saw release in 2021.  That riff didn't quite age well, though Cinematic Titanic mostly holds up as a fun riffing project that came and vanished into the night.  I wish the last few shows were filmed and released though because Rattlers almost comes off as the iceberg that sank the Cinematic Titanic.

Average

The DVD

Cinematic Titanic initially released Rattlers through their now-defunct website, featuring good audio and solid video on everything except the movie, which was lower resolution than the Titans footage itself.  This show was later featured in Shout Factory's Complete Collection box set sharing a disc with War of the Insects and also with a featurette called Between the Riffs, which was originally on Cinematic Titanic's Danger on Tiki Island disc.