Multiplex Madness
Anaconda
⭐️⭐️
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director: Tom Gormican
Starring: Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Thandiwee Newton, Steve Zahn, Daniela Melchoir, Selton Mello
Personally, I'm one who is going to give a movie a lot of slack to be what it wants to be. But there are also times where I just have to smile and nod and back away slowly. Anaconda is one of those times. I guess, if you're going to do a meta parody movie about a specific monster movie that's officially a part of that same series, Anaconda is probably the best series to do it with. The title has has enough recognizable brand recognition to stand out but is not exactly sacred ground. Even that movie's biggest fans probably don't care that a sequel/reboot like this exists. And Anaconda as a series went straight to video/television pretty damn fast, even crossing over with the similarly fated Lake Placid series. Regardless of whether or not you understand why this movie exists, almost anything is a step in the right direction by comparison.
Marty Supreme
Song Sung Blue
Personally, I'm one who is going to give a movie a lot of slack to be what it wants to be. But there are also times where I just have to smile and nod and back away slowly. Anaconda is one of those times. I guess, if you're going to do a meta parody movie about a specific monster movie that's officially a part of that same series, Anaconda is probably the best series to do it with. The title has has enough recognizable brand recognition to stand out but is not exactly sacred ground. Even that movie's biggest fans probably don't care that a sequel/reboot like this exists. And Anaconda as a series went straight to video/television pretty damn fast, even crossing over with the similarly fated Lake Placid series. Regardless of whether or not you understand why this movie exists, almost anything is a step in the right direction by comparison.
So Jack Black and Paul Rudd enter the equation, seeking to do a comedy version of Wes Craven's New Nightmare, a meta sequel that takes place in "the real world" where the previous films are just movies, only to have the thing in the movies happen in real life. Honestly, Will Ferrell tried this meta approach with the Bewitched movie back in 2005 and it didn't work, but sure, let's do it again, I guess. In this film, Rudd is an out of work actor who gets his out-of-work-director best friend Jack Black on board with the idea of rebooting the Anaconda franchise as an indie project. They gather a group of inept friends and head to Brazil to film it on location, only to find there are actual giant Anacondas living in the rainforest. Also, gold heists, love story (kind of), mocking the filmmaking process, and a lot of filler stuff that steers focus away from the whole Anaconda thing. You would think that a comedy sequel to Anaconda would be a monster movie parody, which this new Anaconda isn't really. It's a parody of low budget filmmaking that has a snake that eats people as an annoyance. It's strange how incidental the snake is in this movie. There are like five stories wrapping around each other here and the snake isn't part of any of them. It just pops up and scares everyone every once in a while. It almost feels like the movie was written as something else and had to staple an IP on it when it went through greenlight approval. The result is a comedic Anaconda reboot that seemingly has little interest in being about an Anaconda.
Is the movie funny? It's not unfunny. Parts of it are amusing, but most of the movie is spent waiting for a sudden burst of inspiration to make it worthwhile. Inspiration never comes, and it's never clear why this particular movie was made out of all the directions they could have taken. They could have leaned into a monster movie parody or a filmmaking comedy. They try to meet in the middle and when the movie favors one, it winds up detracting from the other. The best thing that can be said for that is that they didn't drag a better franchise through the mud in doing this. The first Anaconda is an okay movie. I don't have many strong words to say in its favor or against it, but it made for a fun RiffTrax Live show (which we'll likely never see again, thank you, Sony). I know I've seen the second one, which I barely remember, and the third, which I remember slightly more and hate myself for it. There's an argument that can be made that this is the best Anaconda movie, which wasn't hard to do. Unfortunately, it's in a package where it seems the only reason for the movie's existence is based on the idea that they could use a certain lyric from "Baby Got Back" in its trailer and hoping people will see it based on that alone. I kinda wish they made a fun movie to go with it.
Marty Supreme
⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Drama, Sports
Director: Josh Safdie
Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Odessa A'zion, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin O'Leary, Tyler Okonma, Abel Farrera, Fran Drescher
Ping Pong is such a weird thing to be a narcissistic knob about. Nevertheless, that's what Timothée Chalamet chooses to do in Marty Supreme, a competitive Table Tennis player who feels as if he is destined for greatness, willing to lie, cheat, and steal to make his dreams come true. Just writing that sentence makes me laugh, though the movie has a very serious face on. Somehow, that's even funnier. The movie is mostly a street drama about something that sounds absurd, though its underlining theme is about that inner idea that you are meant to be one of the greatest people who ever lived and trying to live it down when it doesn't happen. Marty is a scumbag. He lies constantly and is always trying to put one over on everyone around him, trying to bend reality to his will. The majority of the movie sees him manipulating others so he can have a half-assed attempt to become on top of the world (in his head). The movie does struggle with forms of monotony at times when it's just a constant stream of chattering chaos centered on Chalamet, though it does arrive at a satisfactory destination. It makes me forgive that the movie sometimes feels like it's running on a hamster wheel.
Song Sung Blue
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Drama, Musical
Director: Craig Brewer
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Kate Hudson, Michael Imperiolli, Ella Anderson, Mustafa Shakir, Fisher Stevens, Jim Belushi
It's bad enough that musical biopics dominate the award season scene the way they do, now we have to put up with tribute band biopics too. Song Sung Blue is the love story between tribute singers Mike and Clair Sardina, who put together a Neil Diamond "experience" nostalgia act called Lightning and Thunder. Mike even has a little lightning bolt on his tooth, making me kinda wish he would shine it off and yell "kaCHOW!" every time he smiles. I'm sure the movie has well meaning intentions of being about small people dreaming of glamor but it's a faulty hook when a film's idea of artistic integrity is taking someone else's music and making it your own. It's just not a very inspiring idea for an inspirational drama. That might be one of the reasons why it leans into a hard curveball halfway through, where the movie reminds us that these aren't celebrities but rather normal people dealing with reality. The movie is more melancholy than it lets on in the trailers but that also becomes its most interesting aspect. It becomes troublesome when it compounds melodramatics with a bunch of bullshit that soaks the movie's true story with nonsense, making it harder to embrace. The film's third act tries to give more dramatic oomph to Mike Sardina's fate with a big setpiece and just flounders it by overplaying their hand by manipulating the audience. Hugh Jackman and Kate Hudson are both good in the movie. The movie is more Hudson's than Jackman's, as she actually has a dramatic arc in the movie while Jackman mostly dresses in sparkly clothing and sings, which are the two things he does best other than pretending to be an angry Canadian with claws. The duo do help make the movie sparkle when it's a bit murky.
Wicked: For Good ⭐️⭐️1/2
Zootopia 2 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
New To Digital
100 Nights of Hero ⭐️⭐️
Fackham Hall ⭐️⭐️1/2
Long Shadows ⭐️
Nuremberg ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Sentimental Value ⭐️⭐️⭐️
New To Physical
Black Phone 2 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Bugonia ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Coming Soon!
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