Multiplex Madness
Desert Warrior
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Adventure, Action
Director: Rupert Wyatt
Starring: Anthony Mackie, Aiysha Hart, Sharlto Copley, Ben Kingsley
This Saudi production jumps back to the seventh century, where an Arabian princess is sought to be the concubine of emperor Ben Kingsley. The princess then enlists the help of bandit Anthony Mackie to help her build an army so she can fight for her land and their freedom. Desert Warrior excells at nothing but stands decently as an entertaining historical adventure film. The location work is spectacular, as a lot of the environments envelop the production with an impressive scope. There comes issue with the pacing, which starts hectic and follows with a slow build to a finale. It's refreshing that the film feels like it needs to earn its climax, though the road is often paved with monotony as a lot of the story beats getting there feel the same. When the movie does hit the gas, it's solid spectacle. It's a frentic action thriller that's trying to pretend it's an epic, almost as if The Scorpion King put in a conscious effort in trying to fool people into thinking it was Sparticus. There's enough here for some pulp charm, but I'm unlikely to remember it by tomorrow.
Michael
⭐️⭐️
Genre: Drama, Musical
Director: Antoine Fuqua
Starring: Jaafar Jackson, Nia Long, Juliano Valdo, KeiLyn Durrel Jones, Laura Herrier, Jessica Sula, Mike Myers, Miles Teller, Colman Domingo
Sometimes the elephant in the room is so large that there is no room left for anything else, so you move to the room next to it and hope nobody asks "What smells like elephant shit?" That's the only thing you can do when you're doing a biopic about Michael Jackson, who was an icon so powerful at his height that, yes, he does deserve biopic. And if you cut it off at a certain point, we can pretend a lot didn't happen.
Counterpoint: All of these mutual truths can also be argued for Bill Cosby. Should we do him next?
So, let's scrub this clean and judge this movie the way it wants to be judged: a rose-colored glasses look at one of the singular voices that shaped the 80's. The film takes a look at Jackson growing up under an abusive, controlling father, played by the reliable Colman Domingo. It chronicles his time with his brothers as The Jackson 5, before eventually breaking solo into superstardom. The movie is very much in the vein of films like Bohemian Rhapsody, where a lot of it is dramatization of the artists planning out each moment of their careers before it actually happened, wanting the main takeaway of the film to be "Everything I achieved, I knew it was going to happen." Michael is more insufferable about this than Bohemian Rhapsody because it's far more melodramatic, making star Jaafar Jackson (Michael's real life nephew) daze around in a dreamlike stupor. I'd hesitate to call Jaafar's performance bad, because he pulls off Michael's choreography flawlessly and is striking in his similarities most of the time. The problem is that he never finds a relatable humanity in his late family member, portraying him as a larger-than-life caricature that rarely is allowed any drama except "I'm the best" and "Boy, my dad's a real piece of shit" or just "LOOK AT THE MONKEY!" That problem isn't limited to Michael's portrayal, though. Most of the characters in the film are one-dimensional, with the exceptions of Michael and his father, who are two-dimensional and very singular-minded.
But there is a competence in the filmmaking. Michael Jackson was one of the greatest showmen who ever lived, so living up to his stature is a tall order. This is the thing that the film shines at. The choreography of his famous body movements is done superbly and the film plays them up in the exact way it needs to in order to be a showstopping crowdpleaser. This comes right down to the painstaking recreation of what is quite possibly the most famous music video of all time, Thriller. The film is incredible when it's spectacle. When it's a drama, that's when it becomes a dud. But I suppose we shouldn't call too much attention to Michael when he was off the stage, and less attention to Michael beyond the 80's, which the movie doesn't cover at all. But the movie boldly ends with the words "His Story Continues." Oh, if only it ended there, though.
Mother Mary
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Drama
Director: David Lowery
Starring: Anne Hathaway, Michaela Coel, Hunter Schafer, FKA Twigs
This psychological drama sees Anne Hathaway playing a pop star having an existential crisis, returning to her former costume designer, Michaela Coel, to make her a dress that will reel her back to reality. The two air out their grievances with each other during the process, putting on what is basically a single-set duet acting piece for the audience. That's the part of the movie that works, at any rate. The movie breaks itself in its second half, as it tries to get overtly metaphorical while being completely oblivious to how goofy it has gotten. The film is trying to provoke an emotional reaction from its audience, but it only provoked dissonance in my eyes, sacrificing dramatic sturdiness for pretty visuals. It's unfortunate because I was into the performances. It just got to the point where the movie clearly thought they weren't enough and decided to overcompencate.
Over Your Dead Body
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Comedy, Thriller
Direcror: Jorma Taccone
Starring: Jason Seigel, Samara Weaving, Paul Guilfoyle, Keith Jardine, Timothy Olyphant, Juliette Lewis
Samara Weaving proves that she's incapable of a happy marriage in every movie she makes in this remake of Norwegian black comedy The Trip, which sees husband Jason Seigel take wife Weaving up to the woods with the intent of murdering her, unaware that she is intending to do the same with him. It's an expressionistic concept, using the exposing of one's repressed violent outbursts as a form of marital therapy. It's clever, even if the filmmaking isn't always as sharp as the concept it's toying with. Weaving and Seigel are great in this movie, but they are playing with a script that only gives them fleeting moments to shine and direction that fails to find a proper vibe for the movie. It's rhythmless and all over the place, especially when it sees further complications in its second half that are considerably less interesting than when it was just letting Seigel and Weaving playing off of each other. This movie has so many things about it that make you feel it could have been great if they had just rode with the little ideas that it plays with. It just kinda sits in place as passive amusement instead. Could have been worse, but it sucks when a movie is just fine when it has the elements to become a classic.
You, Me & Tuscany ⭐️⭐️
New To Digital
Protector ⭐️
New To Physical
28 Years Later...: The Bone Temple ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Christy ⭐️⭐️1/2
Die My Love ⭐️⭐️
Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die ⭐️⭐️1/2
Primate ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Send Help ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Shelter ⭐️⭐️1/2
The Strangers: Chapter 3 ⭐️1/2
Coming Soon!
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