Wednesday, September 11, 2019

It - Part 2 (Hor-RIFF-ic Productions)


Film Year:  1990
Genre:  Horror
Director:  Tommy Lee Wallace
Starring:  Tim Curry, Richard Thomas, Annette O'Toole, John Ritter, Harry Anderson, Dennis Christopher, Richard Masur, Tim Reid, Richard Thomas, Johnathan Brandis, Brandon Crane, Emily Perkins, Seth Green, Adam Faraizl, Marlon Taylor, Ben Heller

The Movie

*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*


It's back!

Too subtle?

Our favorite characters from the first episode, including stuttering leader, kinda-fat-but-not-really kid, token black kid, token woman of the group, asthmatic, prankster, and whiner are now adults and pushing 40.  It's 27 years later, and the creature they battled when they were kids has returned to Derry to feast on even more children.  Recalling a vow they made after defeating Pennywise the first time, they all gather up in Derry to hunt down the clown and stop his reign of terror...except whiner...he killed himself at the end of the first part.

Well, is there really all that much to say about part two that I haven't covered in part one?  It's a fairly cheap and laid back production that doesn't really succeed in any of its goals, so that's about the summary of my feelings on this miniseries as a whole.  I'm pretty sure most agree that the second half is weaker than the first, which I definitely can see being true.  The story of bonding children fuels the first portion of the story with a slight charm that this second half just doesn't have.  Hell, this aspect is what made pretty much saved the 2017 retelling from being a fairly weak horror film that startles with load noises.  The 1990 miniseries did it much worse, having been diced down, edited for content, and formatted to wrap around commercials.

Part two has a little bit of stuff with the kids, though it's just brief moments that they didn't have time for in part one.  The majority of part two belongs to the adults, who give crazy, melodramatic, soap opera performances and meander around in Derry trying to "remember" Pennywise.  If I were watching these two productions back to back, it would be a bit exhausting, because one would feel the pace finally picking up only for it to slow down and never really start running again.

Tim Curry gets to dance around again, and that's fun, but he in all honesty hasn't done much in this miniseries except taunt kids, maybe threaten them without actually making good on those threats.  I was going to say it seems to me he's in less of part two than he is in part one, but I also remember thinking to myself he wasn't in very much of part one either.  What I do know is that the protagonist fight a giant spider puppet at the end instead of him, and it's hilarious.

So I've seen this version of It to it's conclusion.  It was very bad.  The 2019 equivalent, It:  Chapter Two, isn't perfect, but it's hard to deny it's an improvement over this limp effort.  But still, the lack of Tim Curry and John Ritter leave a hole in my heart.


The Riff


"When a clown in the sky wants your friends to all die, that's a murder!"

I enjoyed the Cinester Theater riff of the first It episode, and I am amused by the idea of two different riffing groups tackling both halves of this miniseries.  It seems like a swell way of keeping the perspective fresh so you don't run out of ideas after three hours of this thing.  Here's to hoping Hor-RIFF-ic can catch the ball and run it in for a touchdown!  Which is pretty much what they do.  Part two of this miniseries is a weaker episode than part one, but the riff is constantly funnier.

It's a pretty impressive feat, because this portion of the story is a bit aimless and tiresome.  But Greg and Erin are both very good at this riffing game, and their riffs are constantly a bit more clever and aggressive than Cinester Theater's for the first film.  Because of that, I think each group chose the right half of the movie to work with.  Cinester goofed around with a silly kids vs. clown movie, and Hor-RIFF-ic goes for the jugular in the overlong and boring climax to the story.

I love how Gary and Erin deliver their lines, as they're very animated and enthusiastic.  Cinester's Shawn and Keith feel less so which allows for their lesser moments to feel more mundane.  Even if Gary and Erin deliver a riff that isn't a winner, it's always a treat to hear their presentation and interplay.  It part two is another win for the Slasher duo, and as always, I look forward to seeing more work from them.

Good

Kitty Cleans Up (Rifftrax Shorts)


Rifftrax Year:  2008
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

"Getting spayed was more fun than this!"

This short has a little girl going through her morning routine and comparing it to the way her cat grooms herself.  They eventually go to school for a class pet show, where the cat wins first prize because her impressive feat of...being a cat...named Kitty.

I'm not entirely certain as to what the purpose of this short is.  This is either trying to teach children about their own grooming method or to teach them about why their cat licks itself.  It's not too thorough on either point, so I can't make sure I learned much about either.  We've certainly seen more interesting grooming shorts than this.

But have we seen funnier?  Honestly, yes.  The riffing of Kitty Cleans Up is a bit workmanlike, though it's never boring.  I don't think there are any real big laughs from the trio here, though there is an occasional jab that gets a genuine chuckle.  There are lots of cat jokes, and they like to give the title kitty a very condescending and aggressive personality.  There are also some funny jokes at the expense of the short's bad lip sync.  Jokes land enough to make this one worth watching, though not enough to make it something to rush to see.

Thumbs Up
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Tuesday, September 3, 2019

It - Part 1 (Cinester Theater)


Film Year:  1990
Genre:  Horror
Director:  Tommy Lee Wallace
Starring:  Tim Curry, Richard Thomas, Annette O'Toole, John Ritter, Harry Anderson, Dennis Christopher, Richard Masur, Tim Reid, Richard Thomas, Johnathan Brandis, Brandon Crane, Emily Perkins, Seth Green, Adam Faraizl, Marlon Taylor, Ben Heller

The Movie

*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*

In 2017, half of Stephen King's novel It was adapted for the big screen and smashed box office records and became the highest grossing horror movie of all time.  It's very rare for horror to attain the success that this particular film did, though it's interesting to think about why exactly this occurred for this particular film.  It certainly wasn't a resurgence of Stephen King popularity, because if it was that remake of Carrie wouldn't have bombed.  A lot of it can be attributed to a perfect storm of 80's nostalgia, which has seemingly been building to blow at that very moment.  The film's own brand of nostalgia also feels like it was particularly piggy backing off the popularity of the TV series Stranger Things, which took several inspirational cues from Stephen King's It.  Nostalgia also came into play in that It had been previously adapted to film in the form of a 1990 TV miniseries that is very fondly remembered by the kids who stumbled upon it way back in the day.

Nostalgia also has a way of making us remember things being much better than they actually were.  This is something of a prime example.

But what is It about?  Well, part one of this story features a group of childhood friends, who have all long gone their separate ways, learning that a supernatural being who takes the form of a clown is back in their hometown and killing children.  The story then flashes back to the group as kids first encountering Pennywise the Clown, and how they overcame him.  But this is only half of the story, because the modern day confrontation is being saved for the second episode of this miniseries, which is not included in this particular riff of It.

I'll get straight to the point and say I did not grow up on this miniseries.  My sister did, as she loves Stephen King, but I was too much of a pussy as a child to watch a four hour horror movie.  Looking back, I probably look foolish saying I was too scared to watch this thing, though there were episodes of the Goosebumps TV series that gave me the heebie jeebies at that age, so I stand by my decision at the time.  Growing into teenagehood I used horror movies to conquer a lot of childhood fears I had, so this was something I eventually grew out of.  I also tried to get into the writing of King, who I soon discovered was not my cup of tea.  His characters all read so repugnant that I often couldn't finish one of his novels because I just didn't enjoy reading it.  I eventually came to watch this miniseries one day just to see what it was.  Imagine my disappointment in watching this very dated TV movie post-millennium.

"But blogging dipshit," you might be saying to yourself, "Look at the context!  It's not scary now, but it was scary back then!"  I can't speak for people who watched this movie when it originally aired, this is true, but I've seen plenty of horror works from the same period that are far more effective than this.  Even projects that are made for TV with a smaller budget.  If this movie can't even look good against horror anthology shows from the 80's then it's doing something wrong.

The biggest thing going against this movie is the lack of genuine tension.  The movie feels so standard with the way it's presented and it's sequences of horror have no real oomph to them.  Nothing in it is creepy or scary in the slightest, as most of the horrific scenes amount to Tim Curry running around with rubber monster gloves and fake teeth, with little effort to make them look real.  To be fair, Curry is doing his best and he's inspired casting for Pennywise, but the movie does nothing to enhance his performance, making the entire ordeal rest entirely on Curry's shoulders.  Curry may save this movie for some, but I find it unfair to him to single-handedly make this movie worth watching.

The majority of the movie is about schoolyard misfits encountering a supernatural entity, which feels like it's a potentially strong story but is so mundanely shot that it never breaks from it's "made for TV" boundaries.  This very much feels like if Stephen King wrote an episode of Welcome Back Kotter.  Though, admittedly the flashbacks with the children are more interesting that the modern day portions with the adult characters, but that's because the kids are giving relatively subdued performances compared to the more seasoned actors of the piece, who are much more over the top and cringy.

Pretty much the only interest I get from watching this thing is picking out which actors I'm familiar with in it.  Curry is a given, but I also enjoyed seeing Three's Company star John Ritter, Smallville star Annette O'Toole, Ginger Snaps star Emily Perkins, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Family Guy/Austin Powers/Robot Chicken star Seth Green in various roles.  I feel bad they're all in this movie, but I hope they got a good paycheck out of it.

I think it goes without saying that if you want the superior version of It, the 2017 theatrical film is the way to go.  It's an overrated film too, but the way it fleshes out it's characters and the more satisfactory horror element to the film makes for a far more worthwhile experience.  Some may have nostalgic feels for this particular incarnation of this story (I know somebody who thinks this film blew the remake out of the water, though everyone who knows her looks at her crosseyed when she makes that claim), so if you have fond memories of it, continue to love it.  I'm not chained by such feelings however, so I have to call it like I see it.



The Riff

I'll note for prosperity that the riff for It is the sixth riff by the Cinester Theater, but it's actually the first one I'm reviewing for this blog.  At this point in time, I'm not too familiar with this group, though they're quite prolific in the iRiff community and are fairly popular.  I imagine I'm going to eventually watch quite a bit from these guys, since they have some movies I hold near and dear to my heart under their belts, like Back to the Future, RoboCop, Child's Play, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  But for those who read this in the future (if anybody is reading this at all), this is the first time I've reviewed them.

What struck me the most about this particular riff is that the movie is doing a lot of heavy lifting.  It's not to say that the riffing by Shawn and Keith is poor, quite the contrary, but the material they throw at it is elevated by how dated the presentation of the film is, how hammy the performances are, and just how cringe the entire film can be.  A line, whether it be stellar or lackluster, is usually set up by how beautifully silly what's playing out onscreen is.  It may be a powerhouse of early 90's horror nostalgia, but goddamn did this movie have the riffing treatment coming.

I think I need to see more from Shawn and Keith to form a genuine opinion on them.  I was charmed by a good portion of the riff, that had a way of sneaking in some cute lines that gave me a giggle.  I enjoyed the humming of the Legend of Zelda theme every time the kids entered the sewer, for example.  The riffs on the Losers Club in general are mostly pretty solid, as the "Losers" are played up to make them bigger losers than they come off in the movie.  It's pretty fun stuff, although when the riff becomes a bit more standard with lines that are seemingly a bit more filler than others, I began to notice their delivery doesn't have enough flair to make deader spots in the commentary more appealing.  There's a scene where Pennywise attacks one of the Losers in the gym shower room, and one of the riffs basically points out that extending shower heads is not scary.  It's not a particularly well written riff nor is it delivered like it was intended to be funny.  It feels like more like rolling your eyes at the movie than actually making fun of it in a creative manner.  But moments like those are few, so I can't complain too much.

Is It a good entry point to Cinester Theater?  It made me cautiously curious about their other work, so I'll have to say yes.  It's a mostly successful riff with a few dry spells that aren't too bothersome.  It also ends on a cliffhanger ending as they pass the baton to Hor-RIFF-ic Productions to riff part two of this miniseries movie, which is a group that has earned my trust already.  I'm excited to see where they take it, but in the meantime Cinester Theater sets them up pretty well.

Note:  This commentary was recorded to the DVD version, which abruptly ends halfway through as the viewer is supposed to flip the disc over for part two of the movie.  The blu-ray of It is edited into a three hour experience, so the film just continues even after they reach the cut-off point.  If that is the version you're watching, the final scene in the film before the cut-off is SPOILER ALERT Stan's suicide in the bathroom.  After that Shawn and Keith have a small grievance skit about the movie turning off and setting up the sequel riff by Hor-RIFF-ic Productions.

Good

On Guard - Bunco! (Rifftrax Shorts)


Rifftrax Year:  2016
Riffers:  Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

Be on the look out for the Bunco!

What the hell is Bunco?  Dunno.  This short's about con artists.

Thrill as we watch a group of con men and women scam old ladies, husbands, and housewives out of their hard earned cash with convoluted plans.  Some make more sense than others, but the moral of the story is clear:  If someone asks you to withdraw thousands of dollars from your bank for little to no reason at all and you actually do it, maybe, just MAYBE, you're a moron.

BUNCO!

This little PSA is directed at people who are naive enough to not be familiar with the people out there working to take their money.  It's a fair example of how conniving these people are and how they'll silver tongue you into doing something you shouldn't.  Some of the schemes are a bit "wha?" in their concept, but if the short's major fault is that it tries to show too many scams, then I can't really complain about it hammering the point of financial safety home.

As for Mike, Kevin, and Bill, they predictably have a go-to gag about not knowing what a "Bunco" is.  Luckily that's not all the short offers, because the scams themselves offer up some fun little plays for them to commentate on, with the greasy swindlers and the unsuspecting marks bringing up some solid comedy setups for the gang.  The short is a tad too long and feels a bit samey after about ten minutes, down to a lengthy and convoluted scam about withdrawing money and redepositing it to earn a free $10,000 for some reason, though the riffs are constantly funny and this one is worth a peek.

Thumbs Up
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