Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Shorts Volume 2 (MST3K Special)


Hands down the best Shorts compilation on the market, Volume 2 is full of laugh riots like What to Do on a Date, Keeping Clean and Neat, and the funniest short of the series, Last Clear Chance, while Catching Trouble and Days of Our Years may be more troubling shorts for viewers that are harder to watch, the riffing on both is pretty great and they're both classics in the series, as far as I'm concerned.  The one straggler is A Day at the Fair, and even that is a pretty good short.  The problem is that the other five shorts in this collection are just much, much funnier.  It does amuse, but it doesn't keep the laugh momentum that the other shorts have.  I can't knock this collection for that though, because it's just eighty minutes of solid short subject mayhem!

The one downside is that unlike Volume 1, this series of shorts doesn't have intros by Tom Servo, probably because the series was cancelled by the time this batch was put together and they didn't have the Satellite of Love set anymore (or they just wanted to spend less money on this one, one or the other).  It's a little disappointing, because Servo's presence in the previous collection boosted the fun factor of it.  It might have been fun to have Crow introduce these shorts (and bring a clueless Gypsy in for Volume 3), but alas, we would never have intros for short collections until J. Elvis Weinstein's interview on the Commando Cody set on Volume XXV.

That being said, the content on this set is quite strong, and it's a great series of riffs to have, even if you already own the episodes (the episode that each short came from were all eventually released on DVD).  I find this compilation just a really fun experience and still pop it in from time to time just to laugh myself silly.

Catching Trouble
Original Episode:  Teenage Caveman

Any animal rights activist who might watch the show might do will with a "trigger warning" for Catching Trouble, a short from the 1930's where animal trapper Ross Allen goes out into nature to catch several animals and put them on display in a zoo.  Of course, this is 1930's humane animal treatment, which would pass as animal cruelty today.

The most interesting line of this short to me is when Ross tells his employee to handle a pair of bear cubs he caught, by saying "Be careful, they've been a lot of trouble!"  I'd be trouble too if some dude popped out of nowhere and stole me from my family, just to put me in a cage for people to look and point at me.  This short will likely cause a discussion for the ethical treatment of animals today, because it comes off a bit like the almighty Caucasian busting in on nature and declaring "Everything here is mine!"  Is this a metaphor for colonialism and slavery too?

What the short is supposed to be is a look at cute animals in the wildlife and how they get transferred to your local zoo, and people were supposed to shrug off the treatment because Ross Allen was "conquering the savage beast" and proving the superiority of man.  I think Catching Trouble may have been considered a crowd-pleaser back in the day, for better or worse.  I do ponder how it must have been much more difficult to handle animals back then and it probably was never pretty, but still turning it into a pop entertainment show with this short film just makes me feel dirty.

Whatever we may think of it today, Ross Allen is still somewhat well revered mostly because of his work in developing snake anti-venom during World War II, and was very knowledgeable about animals in general.  I'm sure most will rather we remember him for that, but those who see Catching Trouble will most likely associate him with this small glimpse of outdated wildlife ethics instead.

At one point in Catching Trouble, Joel turns to the audience and apologizes for what we're watching, and what else can really be said?  I don't immediately look at this short and think someone could make it humorous, but I'm not Joel and the Bots.  They look at it and think "shock comedy," and their approach works.  They take this short and mostly just react, and they're disgusted by what they see.  They twist the short on its head and root for the animals rather than Ross Allen, like it wants you too, and somehow it make the short a bit easier to swallow.  There are also some fun plays on outdated expression, even to something as simple as using the term "pussy" to describe the wildcat.  One of the funnier run gags involves the narrator refers to Ross as "My boyfriend" (in a similar expression to how a woman would refer to her lady friends as "my girlfriends"), to which they respond with a "say no more" style of amusement.

What to Do on a Date
Original Episode:  Swamp Diamonds

A little advice to those who dare ask the question "What to Do on a Date?," a date can be anything.  You can go get something to eat, you can go get some coffee, you can go to a movie, you can go for a walk, you can even stay home and watch TV or hang with family and friends.  And yes, it can even be sneaking up into someone's room and mutually taking each other's pants off.  What makes something a date is the company you keep, common interest in the activity, and whether or not they have that serious condition known as "I think I like-like that person!"

What to Do on a Date is a short about a guy named Nick, who has that "like-like" feeling for a girl at school named Kay.  He is goaded into asking Kay to the movies, but while Kay is enthusiastic, she has already has seen the picture.  Nick then asks Kay to help out at a scavenger sale, which he initially thinks is a dumb idea, but they both wind up enjoying the activity quite a bit.

The short's point is the same as my opening paragraph.  A date is anything.  Rob's issue is mostly jitters of being labeled a dork for asking her to something mundane or that can be considered work, basically.  Knowing what type of activity your partner may want to do is a scary prospect, because you haven't gotten to know them well enough to know what that mutual enjoyment is.  What to Do on a Date is simple and old fashioned, but some messages never change, and this is one of them.

Minor note:  The actress playing Kay played a character named Kay again in a short titled "More Dates for Kay" (which was riffed by Rifftrax).  Sorry to hear you and Nick didn't work out, Kay, but good for you getting back on that horse!

There is a quaintness to What to Do on a Date that is a lot of fun.  It's easy to just make fun of its old-fashionedness, though all things considered Joel and the Bots keep the ribbing friendly.  They more or less mostly make jokes about Nick's awkward first date attitude toward Kay and how easily it could be crashing and burning.  Probably the biggest laugh of the short is when Nick comes up with the idea to go on another date at a weenie roast, to which the trio respond with the slang-term generation gap response of "NICK, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  There is also a slight bit of sexual attraction riffs between Nick and his friend Jeff, as the short opens with the two of them in a field causing Crow to respond "These two are on a date?"  There are a few more lines that follow it up, but I find this particular gag amusing because of the quaint old-timey heteronormative nature of the short and the fact that it's not a mean spirited gay joke.  It's just a funny idea that Nick starts this short with a desire for Kay only to deal with his feelings for Jeff.  That's good comedy.

Last Clear Chance
Original Episode:  Radar Secret Service

This traffic safety short was filmed in Meridian, Idaho, not too far from where I currently live.  In fact, I drive by many of its shooting locations just about every day.  And yes, I do look both ways before crossing the Railroad, in loving memory of young Frank Dixon.

Fairly persistent and undeniably effective in getting its point across, Last Clear Chance tells the story of a police officer stopping by a local farm to give newly-licensed Alan Dixon some helpful tips about driving, and how important it is to pay attention to the road.  In a hackneyed bit of irony, Alan’s brother Frank is killed in an accident for that very reason at the end of the short.

Undoubtedly shown to people trying to acquire (or re-acquire, just as likely) their driver’s license, this particular short is one of those important “Or ELSE” shorts that isn’t afraid to show the consequences of one’s actions.  They’re fairly important to their own cause, though Last Clear Chance probably isn’t one of the better ones.  The story hinges on the idea that despite going through driver’s education and having already been approved for a driver’s license, Alan Dixon listens with rapt attention to stories about street signs and traffic as if he has never heard of them before, even though he should have learned all of this while working to get a driver’s license.

The finale which hammers home its point drains all brain matter from our characters and has them doing the strangest and moronic behavior possible in order to make death inevitable.  We’re supposed to go “Oh my god, that could be me!” but in reality our reaction is more in tune with us shrugging our shoulders and saying “Well, they were going to die soon enough anyway.”  And instead of feeling any sort of sympathy, I find comfort in the fact that Frank Dixon won’t breed his stupidity to future generations.

One of my fondest MST memories was during high school where I had an art teacher who was very much an admirer of the series, and every once in a while we would watch episodes during lunch.  I brought in Shorts Volume 2 one day and we laughed like crazy during Last Clear Chance.  Finally as the short was ending he took a sip of coffee and suddenly Tom Servo started singing “They’re dead, they’re dead, they’re diddly-eye-de-dead, diddle-de-de-dead” to the pleasant music that closed the short and he spit his coffee out all over his desk laughing.  I had never seen someone do a spit take laugh before that day, and every time I watch this short the memory of it just makes it even sweeter.

As such the short is my pick for greatest short of the series.  The short is full of on-point quips that finish off the narration with just the perfect jab, with glorious observations on traffic portrayal, and definitely a more twisted spin on the darkest aspects of the short.

A Day at the Fair
Original Episode:  Code Name:  Diamond Head

This short film replicates the fair experience...you know, something you could actually go out and do yourself, but here you are, sitting around and watching other people doing outside activities so you don't have to.  Follow this family (with a little kid named Johnny, who, unlike the other Johnny at the Fair, doesn't get lost) around as they visit the exhibits, enter a cow competition, and ride some rides.

All in all, it's an accurate representation of the fair.  What exactly does this short accomplish?  Does the fair experience really need to be sold, or was this shown during winter in which fairs are all packed away for the year?  Don't know, but it's not untruthful, so it's harmless.

"This is the fair ground, where the fair is held."
"Any questions so far?"

A Day at the Fair is a pleasant short outing for the series, which sees small delights in making fun of the excitement over quaint activities.  Probably the biggest laughs of the short come in the mid portion where the family participates in small competitions, like a bake off where the narrator ponders "Judging cakes ought to be fun!" but Servo takes one look at the judge and adds on "But this woman sucks the joy out of it!"  But my biggest howl comes at the end of the cow judgment, where the winner's owner stands up and the narrator notes in a then-progressive tone "The blue ribbon goes to a girl!" causing Crow to shout "THE COWS ARE FURIOUS!"

Keeping Clean and Neat
Original Episode:  The Sinister Urge

Children are nothing but low down dirty pigs and you know it.  To help them get in line and look like actual human beings this short presents a bossy narrator to harass a pair of children, Don and Mildred, and force them to clean until their hands bleed!  And then they have them clean up the blood!  And it better be spotless!

The movie is meant to be shown to children in classrooms in hopes that they would learn good grooming habits from it.  It's actually pretty informative, with some neat tips like clipping toenails after bathing being easier.  It's hard to find much fault in it at all, because for what it is, it's effective.

Keeping Clean and Neat is a wonderful short for the series, and one of my personal favorites.  It is so fast-paced and Mike and the Bots go in full on sprint to keep up with it.  They're often putting precise riffs in to take advantage of small moments and facial expressions that last just a moment.  They work these in with some steady and hilarious riffs on a bossy narrator talking about clean underwear, kooky music, and obsessive compulsive cleaning habits.

The Days of Our Years
Original Episode:  The Amazing Transparent Man

The short that dares to either teach you important safety tips or depress the hell out of you, whichever comes first, Days of Our Years has a reverend telling three stories of accidents that changed people's lives.  But it's not just a trio of stories about people who get hurt but rather how their actions affected others around them and how their carelessness caused other people to suffer.  So be safe, or humanity will be crippled.

Like Last Clear Chance, Days of Our Years is another Union Pacific production filmed right here in my neck of the woods in Idaho.  The moral of this story is not only to think about the consequences of your actions for yourself but also those around you.  We're treated to a guy eager to get home to his wife speeding and getting into a car accident, an old man suffering from a heart attack and killing a co-worker because he ignored the warning signs, and an excitable father of a newborn forgetting safe welding procedure and taking a welding flame to the face.

Rumor has it this short was the inspiration for the Faces of Death series!

The short is something of a mood killer, but it's intended to be.  One can't claim that it doesn't let the viewer know the importance of safety, and if you don't practice it for yourself you should at least do so for those around you.  It's actually fairly effective.

Days of Our Years is an uphill battle.  The short can be a bit of a bummer and it's kind of hard to make it funny.  But our boys' penchant for dark humor comes in handy here, as they take the dark events unfolding and puts a humorous slant on it.  As Mike points out at the end, what he's gathering from the short is that the leading cause of accidents are "Joy, sex, and old age."  Days of Our Years could have been a disaster, but it's not and it's fairly funny.

The DVD

Shorts Volume 2 was released as a part of Rhino's Volume 3 collection, with good audio and video.  Shout Factory eventually re-released the Volume 3 collection, also with Shorts Volume 2 and also without bonus features.

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