Monday, April 26, 2021

Serial Variety Pack (MST3K Special)


The sixth and final direct to video shorts compilation follows suit in the previous, compiling a bunch of multipart serials (and one TV show) into a whole shebang.  In quality, it's a step-up from the previous Commando Cody disc because the riffing on all of these chapters is much more assured, diverse, and rapid.  That's not to say the entire disc is a winner though, as each serial has at least one chapter that is a dud, usually capping off the series before they decide to end it.  The exception is General Hospital, who had it's lackluster segment in the middle.  Because of that, General Hospital is probably the most consistently funny group in the collection, while Phantom Creeps and Undersea Kingdom both peter out instead of staying strong.  Also not helping is the fact that none of these serials have a definitive ending featured on the series, as Mystery Science Theater never completed them.  General Hospital especially was a thankless scenario, because soap operas by nature never have a definitive ending.

Momentum in serials is tricky, because each serial tells a story that couldn't hold a feature film and breaks them into fifteen twenty-minute segments.  Phantom Creeps has a lot of zest in their Bela Lugosi mockery, but as its story starts to wear thin, the serial gets tired.  A more confident effort in season four, Undersea Kingdom starts wildly funny, but wears out its welcome even earlier.  What saves General Hospital is that I suspect that all the segments came from the same episode, but soap operas are slow and uneventful anyway, so it can wear out its welcome before it starts.  Joel and the Bots really need to keep humor flowing to make any of these watchable, and while that isn't maintained, the effort is there.

The Phantom Creeps:  Chapter One - The Menacing Power
Original Episode:  Jungle Goddess

The Phantom Creeps is actually a far different beast than Radar Men from the Moon.  This serial stars Bela Lugosi as a mad scientist seeking to sell his maniacal inventions to enemy countries.  Seeking to sneak his way out of the spotlight, he plots to fake his own death and kill his enemies.

Lugosi is always a fun and committed screen presence, and he makes Phantom Creeps a far more entertaining effort than it needs to be.  It also helps that this chapter has a more engaging storyline than the last serial, which was more or less an excuse to get Commando Cody fly from location to location and punch people.  This one is more character driven and is a bit more interesting.

But the only real question I have is how many episodes will it take for the guys at MST to abandon this one too?  Let's watch and find out!

The Phantom Creeps is obviously done so Joel and the Bots can break out a Bela Lugosi impression and they do so with enthusiasm.  Thick Hungarian accents are all over the place during this short, and the line delivery is killer.  This is a massive step up from Commando Cody riffing wise, but can they keep it up with more chapters?

The Phantom Creeps:  Chapter Two
Original Episode:  Rocket Attack U.S.A.

Our heroes manage to escape the sabotaged plane from last week’s installment, though Dr. Zorka’s wife is killed in the crash.  Blaming everyone but himself, Zorka returns to his lab to resupply himself with his invisible belt and other sciencey stuff.  The good guys show up, leading to a road chase with an invisible man.

There’s already so much more happening in two chapters of The Phantom Creeps than we saw in all eight segments of Commando Cody.  I actually wish more serials were like this, because this one is moderately entertaining.  There’s still not much to talk about, outside of low budget effects (this invisible man has nothing on the one Universal put in it’s main features).  Bela Lugosi continues to be a commanding presence that very few serials have.

I find the riffing continuing to maintain consistency (“Stunned?  He took six bullets!”).  Creeps so far is a far superior serial effort over Commando Cody.

The Phantom Creeps:  Chapter Three
Original Episode:  Ring of Terror

Paying off whatever the hell the previous cliffhanger was (it gets tiresome trying to keep track) in typical anti-climactic fashion, the latest chapter of The Phantom Creeps features Zorka rescuing his sidekick Monk from captivity.  Monk then double crosses Zorka and steals a formula from him, before being captured again.

GOOD ONE, MONK!

This fairly redundant chapter finds the lulls of serialized storytelling setting in on The Phantom Creeps.  While the serial is still far more compelling than Radar Men from the Moon was, the repetitive nature can only stay at bay so long.  It would seem that the crew of Mystery Science Theater would agree, as this was the last serial short they would do until Undersea Kingdom in the fourth season.

Riffing feels a tad bit zippy but it doesn't really close the serial with a bang.  Goodbye Phantom Creeps.  Let those Bela Lugosi impressions rest until Bride of the Monster.

Undersea Kingdom:  Chapter One - Beneath the Ocean Floor
Original Episode:  Attack of the Giant Leeches

This serial's about to get soggy!  It's the Undersea Kingdom!  Life under the sea has seemingly been discovered.  Is it the lost city of Atlantis?  A generic batch of gung-ho, rag-tag serial adventurers goes exploring, only to be attacked in the process.

Undersea Kingdom is more Commando Cody than Phantom Creeps.  And yet an attack from Atlantis seems a bit more colorful than a rocket man punching the space men over and over again.  I'm not entirely sure how Undersea Kingdom played out, because we saw a lot less of it than we did of Radar Men from the Moon, but this first chapter is daffy fun.  It won't win any converts into the serial fan club, but those who like them will enjoy this tasty spoonful.

It's apparent how much more confident Joel and the Bots are with this than the were with previous serials as they fire on all cylinders at such a rapid rate of funny that there are very few moments without a laugh.  However it must be said there is more event and less monotony in both the first and last chapters of just about any serial you can name, so the challenge of riffing such a thing has hardly presented itself.  The real hurdles would have been latter on, however they only riffed one more chapter before giving up on serials entirely.

Undersea Kingdom:  Chapter Two - The Undersea City
Original Episode:  Indestructable Man

The Atlanteans discover our heroes in their midst and chase the intruders.  Over and over.

Boy let me tell you, if you love watching people in silly costumes ride horses this is the serial for you.  You'll get more than your money's worth here.  There is little else of value in this final taste of serials that Mystery Science Theater has given us.  The fact that there is so little story in the second chapter of Undersea Kingdom does not bode well for future installments.  I don't blame the show for dumping it because I was getting tired of it too.  Maybe all of the running back and forth meant something in the long run, but I'm not too enthused to watch the entire thing to find out.

Occasionally Joel and the Bots will latch onto something and turn it into something fun, but this second chapter didn't seem like a worthwhile return to the Undersea Kingdom.  I'm pretty happy with traditional shorts from here on out, thank you.

General Hospital (Part 1)
Original Episode:  Manhunt in Space

Abandoning Undersea Kingdom, season four’s attempt at a serial comeback, MST tackles the enigma of their entire shorts lineup:  segments of the soap opera General Hospital.  I’m not entirely sure if anybody has ever spoken out on why General Hospital was considered for the short section.  Perhaps they were seeing that serials were too monotonous and trying to figure out something else that could be serialized to take their place.  Whatever the reason, General Hospital is here, and boy does it suck.

This particular segment features a doctor/nurse love octagon bubble ready to burst, as a nurse plans a party to ruin her crush-doctor’s delusion that he can be with a woman who is engaged to another man.  Meanwhile a patient gets bad-ish news.

When I was babysat as a tyke my cousin used to watch soap operas all the time.  I don’t think General Hospital was one of them (her shows were All My Children and Days of Our Lives), but I grew to have an intense loathing of them at a young age.  Cheap “entertainment” churned out at a pace so fast it was impossible to have any sort of bar for quality, these things were merely meant to be afternoon killers for stay-at-home moms with a case of the mopies and jobless dads who want to see easy cleavage.  Seeing this vintage piece from the 1960’s proves that they haven’t really changed much.

In theory soap opera’s are ideal for riffing.  They’re melodramatic, feature little humor, and hold large amounts of dead space for commentary to fill.  As such, the riffing on General Hospital is good, and they pin this thing to a wall and pretty much ribbing it senseless.  If I were to cite a problem with it it’s that little-to-nothing happens in the segment, leaving the audience a little mystified as to what the point of it was.

General Hospital (Part 2)
Original Episode:  The Beatniks

Continuing on from where the last General Hospital segment left off, the party is held complete with a lot of awkward tension between characters who want to bang each other.  The audience is just screaming "Start the orgy and be done with it!"

And there is cake.  Very slow cake cutting.  Very slow cake eating.

I want cake.

This segment is probably the least memorable of the General Hospital shorts on the show, because less happens than usual (and almost nothing happens at all in the entirety of the story presented in the three segments overall).  People glare at each other and just look pissy.  That's pretty much the entire thing.  And yet, there is one more of these things to deal with.  Ugh.

The riffing on the General Hospital short doesn't quite take off the way the other segments of General Hospital do.  It has a few chuckles, though the dry uneventful story weighs the riffing down.  There's a genuine effort to keep things lively, as they note the somber mood since the first moment.  Despite not being a laugh riot, they liven up this lifeless party.

General Hospital (Part 3)
Original Episode:  Crash of Moons

In the aftermath of the previous segment's party, lead General Hospital stud drives his engaged girlfriend-wannabe home and tries to convince her she's marrying the wrong man.  Meanwhile the nurse who has eyes for Dr. McStudmuffin throws a fit about him driving her home.

After three segments General Hospital's tenure on Mystery Science Theater 3000 comes to an end.  I'm not going to miss it.  What more can I say about General Hospital?  The only reason it's not the lowest bar for television programming is that reality shows based on the Kardashians, "Real Housewives," and a bunch of idiots in Jersey Shore exist.  There's nothing really in General Hospital for me to comment on, so I won't even bother.

The melodrama and lackluster sexual tension is thicker than ever.  Like the other General Hospital segments I think the format sets itself up for riffing quite well and the riffing takes full advantage.  The three segments of this soap do blend in together after a while making it difficult to pick a favorite, but I do remember laughing a bit more at this one, with a killer pitch like "You don't love Ken!" and a perfect swing like "Like I love Ken!"  General Hospital in the long run seems to be an experiment on the show, and while it's not a fairly memorable one I'm glad it happened and I got some laughs out of it.

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