Multiplex Madness
The Blackening
⭐⭐⭐
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director: Tim Story
Starring: Grace Byers, Jermaine Fowler, Melvin Gregg, X Mayo, Dewayne Perkins, Antoinette Robertson, Sinqua Walls, Jay Pharaoh, Yvonne Orji
Elemental
The Flash
It was a long and turbulent run (lol) to get a Flash movie on the big screen, iterations dating back to when the CW show wasn't even out yet, and that show lasted nine goddamn seasons before one actually hit theaters. And the resulting movie looks just as battered and beaten down as that path suggested. Even finally putting together a production team that actually got it made, the film was plagued with delays, reshoots, certain off-screen drama that I'm not getting into, and a really bizarre studio shill campaign that included James Gunn, Tom Cruise, and even Stephen King for some reason as all tried to gaslight hype into presenting it as the greatest superhero movie ever made, which only served as the final nail in the film's coffin (the greatest superhero movie ever made came out two weeks ago and was called Across the Spider-Verse). I wish the movie turned out exemplary in spite of everything that tripped it up, but it runs so frantically through its various ideas that it never feels like it's doing any of them justice.
No Hard Feelings
Surprise! This movie isn't out yet! But the stars aligned and I wound up at an early access screening! I had absolutely no interest in this movie, so I have nobody to blame but myself.
Extraction II
The Flash isn't the only comic based property to hit screens this week, as the original was based on a graphic novel called Ciudad, which was co-created by Avengers: Infinity War/Endgame directors Joe and Anthony Russo (Joe Russo also provided the screenplays for both Extraction films). I'll be somewhat honest and say I barely remember the first Extraction. It came out during the heat of the Covid-19 pandemic when no movies worth a damn were coming out and I watched it off of enthusiastic recommendations and found myself bored stiff. I do remember Chris Hemsworth died at the end, and now he's back because walked it off, like all great action heroes. He's back as immortal extractionist Tyler Rake and no I can't stop laughing at his name either, who is recovering from his injuries and hired to do some more extractioning almost immediately after his last extraction. I probably owe the first film a rewatch because there was a chance I watched it in a cynical bad mood as I enjoyed Extraction II a bit more on its own scale. The action sequences and stunts are absolutely terrific and those who love a good adrenaline pumping chase and gunplay scene will get a lot out of this movie. The issue I come to is that I had difficulty watching this movie in one sitting, because while its action sells, it's drama is such self-serious, somber brooding that I found myself going "I just can't" about halfway through and turned it off. This was what I mostly remember when I think of that first one when I'm dismissive of it, and if the action was this good during it, I certainly can't recall it.
The joke that forms the basis of The Blackening is that Black people rarely survive horror movies, so comedy director Tim Story utilized an all Black cast for a slasher movie parody which sees a group of friends taking a Juneteenth vacation but find themselves tortured by a psychopath through a board game that judges "Blackness." I personally would have preferred if the film had leaned into horror harder than it does, because while there are a few tense sequences in the movie, the horror element is more of a backdrop. Even the "sadistic board game" element of the story winds up negligible and tossed to the side quicker than you'd expect, whisking away what could have been a creative element in favor of turning it into a chase movie. The movie entertains in spite of that, even if comedic personality can be played up too much at times. It's a fun watch, though genre enthusiasts might be disappointed it doesn't push itself as far as it could.
Elemental
⭐⭐⭐
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Director: Peter Sohn
Starring: Leah Lewis, Mamoudou Athie, Ronnie del Carmen, Shila Ommi, Wendi McLennon-Covey, Catherine O'Hara
It's Zootopia, but with elements. People made of fire, water, earth, air, and maybe other things, who knows. Pixar's latest is about a fire girl trying to save her father's shop from being closed down, and forming an unlikely romance with a water guy alone the way. It's more of Pixar's patented formula of "imagine if random inanimate thing were people" in full force, with all the cuteness and human elements you've come to expect from their work. Most might say its light and safe, but it's a fun and cute movie in of itself. There are lovely metaphors for racial relationships while also highlighting how differing personalities can enhance each other and the pressures of the life we need versus the life we're given. It can be too on the nose for its own good, but its a beautiful movie at its best moments.
The Flash
⭐⭐1/2
Genre: Superhero, Sci-Fi, Action, Comedy
Director:
Starring: Ezra Miller, Michael Keaton, Sasha Calle, Ron Livingston, Maribel Verdi, Kiersey Clemmons, Ben Affleck, Michael Shannon
It was a long and turbulent run (lol) to get a Flash movie on the big screen, iterations dating back to when the CW show wasn't even out yet, and that show lasted nine goddamn seasons before one actually hit theaters. And the resulting movie looks just as battered and beaten down as that path suggested. Even finally putting together a production team that actually got it made, the film was plagued with delays, reshoots, certain off-screen drama that I'm not getting into, and a really bizarre studio shill campaign that included James Gunn, Tom Cruise, and even Stephen King for some reason as all tried to gaslight hype into presenting it as the greatest superhero movie ever made, which only served as the final nail in the film's coffin (the greatest superhero movie ever made came out two weeks ago and was called Across the Spider-Verse). I wish the movie turned out exemplary in spite of everything that tripped it up, but it runs so frantically through its various ideas that it never feels like it's doing any of them justice.
Based on the big event run Flashpoint, which saw the Flash running back in time to save his mother only to find he created a chaotic alternate timeline, the film sees this Flash doing the same thing but instead of breaking time, he tumbles through the multiverse. Despite its inspiration, The Flash is a giddy buddy comedy between the two Barry Allens of two universes, as if the take of the story is to do a Bill & Ted movie where Ezra Miller plays both Bill and Ted. Despite how hard it's selling itself on action and drama in promotional material (as well as more Michael Keaton's return as Batman than anything else), the movie bait and switches the audience with an aloof comedy film with a sci-fi twist. I don't blame it, because trying to sell your movie on Ezra Miller is problematic at this point in time and the nostalgia and sci-fi pieces are likely going to get more butts into seats, but tempering your expectations is key here. The movie is flamboyant, which can be a strength, but it also becomes a weakness when it feels like its undercutting everything else its tossing into its recipe.
But the big problem I'm facing is the problem I've always had for this movie: using Flashpoint as the basis for the first Flash movie is an aggressive miscalculation. It's his most well-known story, but it's like using Civil War as the first Captain America movie. There is way too much going on in it and you can't serve your franchise up successfully if you're just tossing the audience into chaos. It's the wrong story for this movie, and while the movie puts the work in to make it cohesive it never earns it. The best moments of The Flash are the ones that give you insight as to what a normal Flash movie without this nostalgia razzle dazzle would be. It's a shame, because that movie is funny, charming, and even a little sweet. Too bad they didn't make it.
No Hard Feelings
⭐⭐
Genre: Comedy
Director: Gene Stupnitsky
Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Andrew Barth Feldman, Laura Benanti, Matthew Broderick, Natalie Morales, Scott MacArthur
Surprise! This movie isn't out yet! But the stars aligned and I wound up at an early access screening! I had absolutely no interest in this movie, so I have nobody to blame but myself.
The film features the normally drama-heavy Jennifer Lawrence in an unusual comedic turn. Not just comedy, but a broad, Farrelly Brothers style sex comedy, where she plays a broke woman who is hired by the parents of a socially awkward graduate to lose his virginity to in exchange for a car. The premise plays out as you'd expect it to, setting up awkward seduction fails and slapstick comedy, neither of which are constructed well enough to keep the movie from feeling one-note. Every ten minute section feels the same as the last as it struggles to find new ways of telling its one joke, often giving up and telling one its already told. The one slapstick sequence with any heft is one where Lawrence goes completely full-frontal nude and gets into a brawl, which you have to give her credit for going the full nine yards on. The movie isn't a whole drag, it's just repetitive and off-putting at times, while it's attempt at sweetness and messages of personal growth and desire of connection over sex are plastic and hollow because the film doesn't seem all that interested in exploring them. It's more interested in making Lawrence do a clumsy lapdance and saying double entendres. I might be more interested in the character growth of this movie if it felt like the movie grew with them, but it always pulls back and regresses then claims they've changed at the end. Maybe if the movie was funnier that wouldn't be a problem. But the audience I was with laughed themselves silly, so don't take my word for it. I guess it just wasn't as good for me as it was for them.
Netflix & Chill
Extraction II
⭐⭐1/2
Streaming On: Netflix
Genre: Action, Thriller
Director: Sam Hargrave
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Golshifteh Farahani, Idris Elba, Olga Kurylenko, Daniel Bernhardt
The Flash isn't the only comic based property to hit screens this week, as the original was based on a graphic novel called Ciudad, which was co-created by Avengers: Infinity War/Endgame directors Joe and Anthony Russo (Joe Russo also provided the screenplays for both Extraction films). I'll be somewhat honest and say I barely remember the first Extraction. It came out during the heat of the Covid-19 pandemic when no movies worth a damn were coming out and I watched it off of enthusiastic recommendations and found myself bored stiff. I do remember Chris Hemsworth died at the end, and now he's back because walked it off, like all great action heroes. He's back as immortal extractionist Tyler Rake and no I can't stop laughing at his name either, who is recovering from his injuries and hired to do some more extractioning almost immediately after his last extraction. I probably owe the first film a rewatch because there was a chance I watched it in a cynical bad mood as I enjoyed Extraction II a bit more on its own scale. The action sequences and stunts are absolutely terrific and those who love a good adrenaline pumping chase and gunplay scene will get a lot out of this movie. The issue I come to is that I had difficulty watching this movie in one sitting, because while its action sells, it's drama is such self-serious, somber brooding that I found myself going "I just can't" about halfway through and turned it off. This was what I mostly remember when I think of that first one when I'm dismissive of it, and if the action was this good during it, I certainly can't recall it.
Now we just wait for him to join Stallone and Statham as one of the Extractables.
New To Digital
Kandahar ⭐⭐1/2
New To Physical
John Wick: Chapter 4 ⭐⭐⭐⭐
The Pope's Exorcist ⭐⭐1/2
Coming Soon!
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