Multiplex Madness
Caught Stealing
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Genre: Action, Thriller, Comedy
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Starring: Austin Butler, Regina King, Zöe Kravitz, Matt Smith, Vincent D'Onfrio, Liev Schrieber, Carol Kane
Darren Aronofsky's latest is an adaptation of a book series by Charlie Huston, which Huston provides the screenplay for. Austin Butler stars as a man who is unwittingly swept up in neighbor Matt Smith's dirty dealings, as a bunch of baddies start knocking on his door thinking he's his accomplice. The movie is a departure for Aronofsky, taking a break from his metaphorical dramas (which I'm assuming is what Mother! was) and taking a swing at an action thriller. Aronofsky's eye allows for some unique framing of frantic action making a furious movie that is always fun to watch, even if its narrative gets jumpy. Matt Smith steals the movie, which is typical of the former Doctor Who star as he's given the most colorful character and is less of an avatar for chase scenes than everyone else is. There's not a lot that's surprising or substantial about the movie but it's a quality chase movie for those looking for a little bit of a ride.
The Roses
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Genre: Comedy
Director: Jay Roache
Starring: Olivia Colman, Benedict Cumberbatch, Andy Samburg, Kate McKinnon, Allison Janney, Belinda Bromilow, Sunita Mani, Ncuti Gatwa, Jamie Demetriou, Zöe Chao
Most of the black comedy has been sucked out of this update of War of the Roses, opting to turn into a screwball comedy to play up the strengths of its leads. It survives based on the fact that those leads are so goddamn funny in it. Olivia Colman and Benedict Cumberbatch star as the titular couple, who fall in love and set off to persue their dreams with the perfect marriage. When Colman's career takes off and Cumberbatch's fails spectacularly, a resentment between the two begins to swell until it boils over into violence. Interestingly enough, the movie isn't particularly interested in mutual fault between the two. Cumberbatch is clearly the aggressor throughout the movie, while Colman's only crime is that she's good at what she does. I think the idea is more interesting if they're both just bitter, awful people, like Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner once upon a time. They both certainly become nagging toward each other, as most of the movie's comedy has little choice but to envelop itself with amusing passive aggressive quips because it refuses to commit to making either of them unlikeable. Or maybe Olivia Colman and Benedict Cumberbatch are just incapable of being unlikeable because they're just so damn cute when they're angry. The movie can't help but coast on that cast charisma. I have nothing but intense adoration for Olivia Colman and think quite highly of Benedict Cumberbatch, as well. The supporting cast is in and out, making sure they don't outshine the stars at play. The biggest supporting roles are Andy Samburg and Kate McKinnon as their neighbors, but they're often relegated to reaction shots as Colman and Cumberbatch open fire. The same can be said for the rest of the support, where this movie becomes the second movie this week to feature a former Doctor Who as a supporting player, offering up recent fifteenth Doctor Ncuti Gatwa in a charming, if limited, role. The Roses probably isn't as memorable as Danny DeVito's famed adaptation from 1989, but, in it's own way, it might be more fun.
The Short Game
⭐️1/2
Genre: Drama, Comedy, Sports
Director: Frank Sanza
Starring: Ben Kreiger, Mackenzie Astin, Catherine Cunningham, Owen Himfar, Tyler Lofton, Emma Parks
A down-on-his-luck youth hopes to gain a college scholarship through golfing, and his game takes a turn for the better when his autistic little brother becomes his caddy. This relatively simple-minded movie has only one sole ambition, which is to be a feel-good movie for a pre-existing target audience. This movie may hold mild success in that the audience it caters to holds little scrutiny for a film like this, but when it actually plays in theaters with movies that actually know what they're doing, The Short Game doesn't hold up. And that's not me being biased against this type of movie. I'm all in favor of movies like this, but if a movie wants to succeed in being a "feel-good" experience, there needs to be elements of authenticity to its emotional manipulation. The Short Game wouldn't be that bad if it didn't come off as plastic as a Barbie Dream House.
Just about every character in this movie is one-dimensional, they all have simple goals and walk from point A to B, delivering their dialogue like well-behaved actors who just recently memorized words. The movie doesn't really try to live with them or try to make them feel organic, and it's almost astounding just how fake everyone comes off as. There is one sole exception that the movie can learn from, if it took the time to nourish it. The main character has a friend who follows him around with a camera and documents his whatever-the-fuck sports journey, and she is probably the most flavorful character in the movie. She's underwritten, like the rest of the movie, but she has a vibe. Nobody else in the movie does, and that makes her the standout. If the rest of the movie had a vibe, this movie wouldn't be such a joyless experience telling a story that's trying to be joyful. The movie has it so bad at expressing emotion that it even takes a traumatizing turn halfway through, which the movie plays it up as a big deal, but the film is such monotone melodrama with limited personality that it doesn't really matter. Otherwise, most of the movie is supposed to be funny because it has this broad, warm "gee whiz" grin on its face while delivering cornball wit, like an episode of Full House. It never really generates a laugh because of this, but I'll give it credit for trying to at least have some charm about it, even if it's the charm of a ham sandwich sitcom.
Ultimately, even if I were to give the rest of the movie a pass for being trite nothing, the film's third act is where it fails the most, coming down to an important golf competition where the bad golfers are bitter because his loving brother/caddy seems good at geometry because of autistic reasons (like in all movies, autism gives you superpowers). The movie's final conflict has something to do with the little brother being penalized for...something...and getting kicked off the field. Maybe I'm not brushed up on golf rules, but it really just looked to me like he stood in place and did the things a caddy is supposed to do. I don't really know what happened and the movie doesn't make it clear. It just invents a complication out of nothing and expects us to buy it. It doesn't work. The film could have found a creative bone in its body and figured it's shit out, but it wants simplistic hurdles to overcome because it wants the mental hurdles to be the real challenge. A smart movie would have done both at the same time. Or you just don't do a hurdle at all if it's going to be half-assed. And that's just the movie in a nutshell, a movie that loves all the touching tropes of family dramas but doesn't seem to understand how to make them work, so it just crams them onto the screen expecting the same outcome. I want to say this movie's heart is in the right place, because it just wants to be a simple movie about brothers who love each other, but none of that heart really burst through in the filmmaking.
The Toxic Avenger
⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Comedy, Action, Horror, Superhero
Director: Macon Blair
Starring: Peter Dinklage, Jacob Tremblay, Taylour Paige, Kevin Bacon, Elijah Wood, Julia Davis, Jonny Coyne
Filmed several years ago, this remake of Troma's biggest IP sat on a shelf for a good long while for seemingly no reason. It's easy to make a Toxic Avenger movie and it's easy to want to make a Toxic Avenger movie. Toxic Avenger (and Troma productions in general) is such a self-indulgant brand that you make any film for yourself and the audience gathers by happenstance. When it comes time to actually advertise that you've made a relatively (in comparison to other movies in the series) large-budget Toxic Avenger movie, suddenly it sinks in that you've made an expensive Toxic Avenger movie and don't know who you're marketing it toward. A lot of people have heard the title, but unless you brave the bowels of dumpster filmmaking, you probably haven't even watched a Toxic Avenger movie. It's pretty crazy stuff, and unless you've actually witnessed a movie produced by Troma, it's probably difficult to actually paint a picture of what a Troma movie is. Grainy filmstock, barely-there craftsmanship, aburdist humor, and little-to-nothing to mask that everything taking place is fake. Whatever you're picturing, drag it through the mud for five hours and maybe it would look like a Toxic Avenger movie. I've seen the first Toxic Avenger a couple of times. It's never been opportune for me to watch any of the sequels, but I definitely would if they were in front of me and had an afternoon to kill. But if you have to ask if it's worth a watch for anyone else, I'd have to take it by a case-by-case basis. But 95% of the time, the answer is "Good god, no."
The new take on Toxie stars Peter Dinklage as a janitor dying from [REDACTED] brain disease. Because obvious bad businessman Kevin Bacon won't help him, Dinklage takes matters into his own hands by trying to steal the money he needs for treatment. He is caught and dumped into toxic waste, which hideously deforms him while also making him absurdly strong. These situations always result in creating a new superhero, this one known as the Toxic Avenger! It's a more detailed story than the original, who was just a nerd caught in a practical joke gone haywire. I guess you could say Dinklage's take on Toxie has more pathos, but there's little time for emotion when there are jaws to tear out. And those who want a Toxic Avenger movie to do what a Toxic Avenger movie does will get it. Those who want it to be done better will also get it, though they're still watching something that is definitely a Toxic Avenger movie. The new movie takes the hammy absurdist exploitation of Troma's stylings and combines it with the heightened otherworldly kitsch of Tim Burton's Batman, Warren Beatty's Dick Tracy, or Chuck Russell's The Mask. One could call it the Fury Road of Toxic Avenger movies. It's a movie that takes what preceded it and takes it up to a level we never expected it to go to, and succeeding more than you could ever imagine. Unlike Fury Road, the reboot of Toxic Avenger is probably not going to convert a lot of new people to its franchise, because Troma movies are a niche within a niche. You already know if you love it, though. And you probably saw this movie on opening weekend already.
Netflix & Chill
The Thursday Murder Club
⭐️⭐️
Streaming On: Netflix
Genre: Mystery, Comedy
Director: Chris Columbus
Starring: Helen Mirren, Pierce Brosnan, Ben Kingsley, Celia Imrie, Naomi Ackie, Daniel Mays, David Tennant
Following in the footsteps of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, yet another popular book series has been handed to Home Alone and Mrs. Doubtfire mastermind Chris Columbus to turn into a hopeful film franchise. Netflix is probably hoping to have a reasonable counter for the murder mystery audience once their contract with Rian Johnson is up with the release of Wake Up Dead Man in a few months. I've been reading a lot of Agatha Christie and classic Perry Mason lately, so a dip into the Thursday Murder Club was something I took rather kindly to. The book it's based on is pretty fun. It digresses from its story too easily for my tastes, which is in line with its elderly protagonists who drift off into minor digressions and small-talk in general, but it's a pleasant read. The book centers on a quartet of retirees played by powerhouse players Helen Mirren, Pierce Brosnan, Ben Kingsley, and Celia Imrie, who meet weekly and go through old case files of unsolved murders, coming up with their own theories to cold cases (you would think they would start their own podcast, but maybe that's too close to Only Murders in the Building). They soon find themselves in the midst of fresh murder mystery, as a brand new corpse drops in their laps, linked to the shady business dealings of landowners trying to tear down the retirement home, headed by David Tennant.
THREE movies with a former Doctor Who in a supporting role? This one sharing the screen with a former James Bond? What have I done to be this spoiled?
The movie version of this beloved novel plays out like cinematic comfort food for a good long while. The presentation is cozy and fluffy, and the reliable cast gives it charisma. The movie does stay in line with the book for a good long while, even if it is a tad streamlined while cutting out some of the book's most emotionally resonate subplots. I'd hesitate to be critical of that, because the movie probably demanded more plot focus, but it does feel like it lost some of the more interesting chapters in translation. With that in mind, as the film hits the home stretch, it's suddenly in a hurry and rewrites the entire third act. The reveals are the same (most of them, anyway), but it's done while trying to impress more unneeded urgency and get all of the loose ends tied as swiftly as possible. It's a messy affair. When one crafts a mystery, the one thing you need to nail is the ending. The film version of the Thursday Murder Club sadly rushes to finish the job, soiling itself in its seat while doing so. The film is light and passable, otherwise. The cast is great and it's an easy evening watch. You can't help but wish it were more charming and fun than it is, though.
Movies Still Playing At My Theater
The Bad Guys 2 ⭐️⭐️1/2
Eden ⭐️⭐️
F1 ⭐️⭐️
The Fantastic 4: First Steps ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Freakier Friday ⭐️⭐️1/2
Honey Don't! ⭐️⭐️
Jaws ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Jurassic World: Rebirth ⭐️1/2
Lilo & Stitch ⭐️⭐️
The Naked Gun ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Ne Zha 2 ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Nobody 2 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Relay ⭐️⭐️1/2
Superman ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Weapons ⭐️⭐️⭐️
New To Digital
My Mother's Wedding ⭐️⭐️
Oh, Hi! ⭐️⭐️1/2
Sketch ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Together ⭐️⭐️⭐️
New To Physical
Karate Kid: Legends ⭐️⭐️
Lilo & Stitch ⭐️⭐️
Coming Soon!
