Multiplex Madness
The Fantastic 4: First Steps
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Genre: Superhero, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Action, Adventure
Director: Matt Shakman
Starring: Pedro Pascal, Vanessa Kirby, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Joseph Quinn, Julia Garner, Ralph Ineson, Sarah Niles, Mark Gatiss, Paul Walter Hauser
Every ten years or so, someone tries to make a Fantastic Four movie. For the longest time, the film rights were held by Constantin films, and those rights were in danger of lapsing in 1994, hastily putting together a cheap movie (aided by cheap movie maestro Roger Corman) to maintain the rights until they could actually make a real movie. Sources differ on whether or not the movie was actually intended for release, but it never did, with various reasons given as to why. What's sad is that it's arguably the best of the Fantastic Four films up until this point. What it lacks in budget and, well, talent, it makes up for in sheer earnestness. Whether the film was intended to release is moot, because it was made by people who gave genuine effort in spite of the reality that they didn't have resources. Comparatively, the pair of Tim Story directed films, from 2005 and 2007, also arguably made an effort, but had less ambition with more resources, churning out domestic family comedies with superpowers. They had their charms (these movies were excellent babysitting movies, from my experience), but they didn't capture the imagination enough to complete a trilogy or anything. Another ten years pass, and the rights are in danger of lapsing yet again. 20th Century Fox needs to push ahead with something, and goes ahead with a pitch from director Josh Trank. The best thing that can be said about this particular movie is that it was made with a clear vision. The worst thing that can be said is everything else, as Trank tried to fuse the plucky IP with a grim tone of hard sci-fi and dark body horror. Doing such a take on a superhero movie probably wasn't a bad idea, but doing it with the Fantastic Four was a terrible one. That's not even bringing up the film's structure, which was an hour-long first act and half of a third act, which made the script feel like it was collapsing halfway through and giving up. The final film was a monstrosity, single-handedly tanking Trank's then-promising career, as behind the scenes shenanigans came to light and he was subsequently dismissed from helming a potential Star Wars film in the aftermath. Good cast, though, which included on-the-way-up talents like Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordon.
For the last thirty years, Hollywood has been trying to prove that you can't make a good movie out of the Fantastic Four. Marvel Studios producer Kevin Feige sighed, stared at everyone responsible exhaustedly, and told them "Hold my beer."
The final product is The Fantastic 4: First Steps, which is the second MCU-related-but-main-universe-adjacent feature film from Marvel Studios, following Deadpool & Wolverine (third if you count the Loki TV series). Taking place in an alternate universe that features the aesthetic of retro-futurism intermingled with 60's nostalgia, the Fantastic Four are the established heroes of the Earth of their respective dimension. They then recieve a message from the Silver Surfer, warning them that their planet is going to be devoured by the cosmic world-eater Galactus, as the famed quartet then quest out to prevent the destruction of Earth. Basically, it's an entire re-do of 2007's Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, only done better. Of course, they could have just remade Rise of the Silver Surfer beat-for-beat and added the third act that it declined to do and it would have been better. Instead, they made an actual movie this time. One with a climax and everything!
Aesthetically, First Steps is, for the lack of a better word, a marvel. The movie's set design really upped its game for superhero cinema possibilities, hitting a hyperreality mark that I imagine Joel Schumacher was aiming for when he made his Batman movies in the 90's (but accidentally created something garish instead). This is a level we see from animated fare like Spider-Verse and Big Hero 6, a from-the-ground up reinvention based on what cultural reference points it's going for. The Fantastic Four were created in the 60's, and the film knows they're most at home in the era that they spawned from (other Fantastic Four movies have tried to adapt them to more modern styles and sensibilies and didn't fully take off). First Steps uses that as a starting point but goes further, establishing them in a world that is what people of the 60's thought the future was going to look like, which is The Jetsons meets Star Trek. Not only that, it fuses all of this into the stylizings of 60's pop culture, with smiling television personalities and bright pleasantry dominating the overall vibes, masking the darker side of the world with good ol' American gusto. The 60's were not quite an idealized society, despite what domestic sitcoms of the period would have you believe, as it was putting on a positive face to hide Cold War escalation, civil rights protests, and falling into the Vietnam War. First Steps actually plays that game really well, with Marvel's First Family being the face of beloved celebrity worship in their culture, heralded as the protectors of the world, only to face overwhelming backlash when they're facing an unstoppable force that asks them to make an impossible choice that they refuse to make, flinging their "perfect world" into a doomsday scenario. The film is actually a powerful statement on idols vs. the humanity beneath them and the pressure and stamina it takes to maintain such an image when the whole world has a specific expectation of you. It mixes perfectly with the film's other themes of paternal instinct, and the natural urge to protect one's child from harm, no matter how enormous.
The film is equally brought to life by some of the most pitch-perfect casting in any superhero movie. Casting Pedro Pascal and Vanessa Kirby as Reed and Sue Richards was an absolute power move. Pascal is one of the most treasured actors currently working today, and Kirby, well, to be blunt, she's a goddess with two feet touching this world. Not only that, they fit their roles in a dynamic way and flesh them out with stellar chemistry. If there is any hesitancy to what they bring to the table, I found it disappating anytime they were given a scene together. There's even an argument scene before the climax between the two that, quite frankly, any comic reader will identify as the most Sue and Reed scene ever filmed in any Fantastic Four movie. I have nothing but high praises for them. I am less familiar with Ebon Moss-Bachrach and Joseph Quinn, but I have just started watching The Bear and didn't realize Moss-Bachrach was also on that show until I was actually watching this movie. Anyway, he's great as a less moody version of Ben who has seemingly embraced his life as a big rock man, although still has enough self-consciousness about it that he seemingly is hesitant about a romance with Natasha Lyonne. I'm not going to lie, I feel the movie could have done more with the Lyonne romance, because it's barely present and probably could have easily been cut, but there is always a sweetness to Ben Grimm's love life that's fun to explore. Quinn is the one I'm least familiar with. I've heard he's on Stranger Things but I didn't make it past the first season. Apparently, he was in A Quiet Place: Day One but I and Gladiator II ,but he just didn't make an impression on me. Anyway, his character of Johnny Storm has always been played as a "Top Gun generation hotshot with attitude" in movies like this, but Quinn's take is more "fun brother on an 80's sitcom." Whether or not you like Quinn's take is going to depend on how you like Johnny being depicted, but given the vibe of the whole movie, this take on Johnny is perfect for this specific movie. Also, Ralph Ineson and Julia Garner as Galactus and the Silver Surfer (Shalla-Bal variation) are here. Both great actors that probably could have gotten more to do but made the most of what they were given.
If I could level one complaint at the movie, it's that its pacing is not fully efficient. This movie has two modes: casual laid-back dramedy and everything happening all at once. The movie acts as a series of rubber band pulls, slowly stretching out until it finally releases for a major sequence. Whether or not it hurts the movie is up to the viewer, and will likely depend an how enamored they are with the tone and vibes of the film. I was more into it than I was Superman a few weeks ago, which had similar problems but worked them out more clumsily, so I'm not going to dock anything significant off my opinion of the film. To be honest, I couldn't help but watch it and think to myself that this is exactly what a Fantastic Four movie should be, all the while my heart fluttered with pure joy. And that's the thing that I can't shake about this movie, which is that it gave me the same giddy feeling I got in the pit of my stomach when I watched The Incredibles back in 2004. Any superhero movie that can do that has achieved the status of one of the best superhero movies ever made.
The Home
⭐️1/2
Genre: Horror, Comedy
Director: James DeMonaco
Starring: Pete Davidson, John Glover, Bruce Altman
Purge creator James DeMonico tries his hand at doing a horror movie that isn't The Purge, basically trying to do Get Out in an old folks home. Pete Davidson plays a troubled man who is sentenced to community service, spending his hours acting as a super in a retirement home. Weird things are afoot and Davidson begins to notice oddities, suspecting that not everything is as it seems. The Home is a part of what seems to be a new wave of horror films that try to play off the primal idea in the back of one's head that the elderly are off-putting. It's not as unpleasant as The Front Room, nor does it achieve mediocrity like The Rule of Jenny Pen. The Home's best aspects make one appreciate that there might be a fun time-waster in its DNA somewhere, though it tends to lose its grip on its own sanity the more it tries to explain itself. DeMonaco's unsettling imagery sometimes gives The Home the push it needs to be just watchable enough. The problem that the movie can't shake is that he's merely playing with an idea and can't find the story inside it, while its attempts to resolve it are a convoluted dumpster mess. Still, the climax of the film allows Davidson to go full-on blood-soaked wrath-bringer, which is just entertaining enough to almost make one forget the imperfections in getting to this point. I have difficulty forgiving the entire movie, but it did bring five minutes of quality chaos.
House on Eden
⭐️1/2
Genre: Horror
Director: Kris Collins
Starring: Kris Collins, Celina Myers, Jason-Christopher Mayer
House on Eden was directed by YouTube and TikTok content creator Kris Collins, better known as KallMeKris. I don't know much about Collins, or what type of videos she makes. Apparently, she made the jump from vlogging to filmmaking, choosing to cut her teeth on a found footage horror movie. Found footage is a good genre for people who have no money and want to get experience under their belts. Ideally, one would want to offset a lack of resources with creativity, and House of Eden is too tropey for Collins to genuinely make an impression with. She basically just did her spin on The Blair Witch Project, where three documentarians head into the woods and spooky stuff happens. Then she merges with aspects of Paranormal Activity and The Last Exorcism, creating a movie that is thoroughly in the realm of things we've already seen before in this format, but done less interestingly. House on Eden feels like it was made by people who were more interested in having the experience of making a movie rather than having a movie they wanted to make. It feels very "We did it. We don't know what it is, but we did a thing." The movie isn't entirely void of effective moments (there's a bit with a mirror that I quite liked), though they're pretty sparse. And the movie takes much too long to set itself up, as the film tries to have us settle in with the characters with a series of humorous vignettes. Some are amusing, while others will make one ask "Why are we even seeing this?" When you're questioning whether or not a movie that isn't even eighty minutes is too long, something is off-center. If Collins wants to continue to be a filmmaker (and I assume she might, since this movie was sold to a distributor instead of being uploaded straight onto her YouTube account), my suggestions would be to work on rhythm, pacing, and, if she wants to keep making horror movies, come up with bigger and bolder ideas for setpieces. Found footage is easy to make, but it's oversaturated. You're going to want to go big or go home, and House on Eden is too small. For those who want a scare-ride, House on Eden isn't it. If you're a KallMeKris fan, maybe you'll be tickled by the fact that she made a movie at all.
Oh, Hi!
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Comedy
Director: Sophie Brooks
Starring: Molly Gordon, Logan Lerman, Geraldine Viswanathan, John Reynolds, David Cross
Some break-ups can feel like the entire world is crashing down, which becomes a central premise for indie comedy Oh, Hi! Molly Gordon feels like she is at the start of a beautiful long-term relationship with Logan Lerman, but after a kinky evening involving handcuffs, she discovers that she's more serious about their relationship than he is. In the heat of the situation, she decides to just not unchain him from the bed. At first out of anger, but ultimately she decides to use the situation to make the argument that she's his dream girl, as he continues to become more and more terrified of her. It's the premise of a horror movie (the movie is basically Misery), but it's funny because the instigator is cute, young, and hot and therefor without fault, as the film treats the victim as the antagonist. Honestly, it's kind of a great idea for a movie, showing Lerman becoming more agitated as it goes while Gordon has a breakdown stemming from one rash decision in an awkward situation that is spiralling out of hand. The movie is pretty funny, and if it could maintain its momentum, it would be an easy recommendation. But it hits a third act roadblock, throwing a goofy plot point at the audience and going ride-or-die with it until just washing its hands because it's out of things to do. If I were judging this movie by its first hour, I'd have more praise to give, even if the movie didn't fully commit to being the dark comedy that it could be. Judging it as a whole, it fumbled a touchdown, and that's hard to ignore. Those who just go with the flow will probably be easier on it, though.
Sorry, Baby
⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director: Eva Victor
Starring: Eva Victor, Naomi Ackie, Lucas Hedges, John Carroll Lynch, Louis Cancelmi, Kelly McCormack
Sometimes it feels weird to call a comedy a comedy. Usually, it's when it deals with something thematic that feels more serious than the jokey nature of the movie lets on. Such is the case of Sorry, Baby, an indie from writer/director newcomer Eva Victor. Victor stars as a college student who has a traumatic experience, one that definitely invites trigger warnings for some audience members, so one might want to do research on the film before jumping into it. Anyway, she doesn't like to talk about it, and goes about her life in a self-deprecative way, often avoiding socialization and living alone with her cat. Her loneliness is compounded when her best friend moves away, though she eventually returns with a newborn baby. The film's brand of humor stems mostly from the protagonist's awkwardness, of a woman who sometimes wishes to connect but it feels like its too much work, so she'd rather not bother and just sits with her life in stationary. The movie isn't afraid to turn serious when it addresses its taboo themes more directly, but it will derive comedy out of the non-tactful way society tends to discuss it around her. The film is about a woman who is living with her trauma and taking a day-by-day method in attempting to regain a sense of normalcy, even if she'll never feel fully the same again. The deft touch of this movie makes it something beautiful, and it identifies Victor as a talent to watch.
Netflix & Chill
Happy Gilmore 2
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Streaming On: Netflix
Genre: Comedy, Sports
Director: Kyle Newacheck
Starring: Adam Sandler, Julie Bowen, Christopher McDonald, Benny Safdie, Bad Bunny, Ben Stiller, Jackie Sandler, Sadie Sandler, Sunny Sandler
I think history has shown what Gen-Xers and Millennials have known all along and that Happy Gilmore is the quintessential Adam Sandler movie. And I can hear all the snobs banging at my door calling out "Punch Drunk Love, Uncut Gems, blah blah blah," but the fact remains that movies like that featured Sandler as an actor hired for the use of other filmmakers' creative talents. If we're purely talking about Sandler as a creative force of his own, making the movies he wants to make, Happy Gilmore was his peak. And he found his audience in that period in the 90s where teenagers would watch movies on TBS while scarfing down a bag of Cheetos and just chuckling at the sight of Bob Barker getting into a fist fight on a golf course. But we all grew up at some point, and Sandler's production company, Happy Madison, never entirely changed its output. We all showed up for The Wedding Singer and The Waterboy, but eventually his fanbase shrank to the barebones of people who thought eating those Cheetos in front of the TV amounted to their "golden years." But there is one thing that unites all of us who ever watched Adam Sandler movies: we all fucking love Happy Gilmore. We all would fucking die for Happy Gilmore. Don't you talk shit about Happy Gilmore, you son of a bitch. ::smashes bottle and holds it offensively:: DO YOU THINK I'M PLAYING?!
And, nearly thirty years after the original, now there is a sequel.
Oh...
And it went straight to Netflix.
Oh...no...
But if you love the original, it's actually not that bad.
Oh...yay...?
If your expectations are low enough, Happy Gilmore 2 could be described as the Rocky Balboa of Happy Gilmore movies. That might be giving it too much credit for its creative ambitions, which are none or less, but it's a fun throwback for old fogies who loved the first one. The film catches up with Happy decades after the first, having raised five children with his wife, Virginia (Julie Bowen, reprising her role). But Happy retires from golf after one of his trademark super-drives accidentally kills Virginia, leaving him a widower taking care of a large family and driving him to alcoholism. Happy's daughter (played by Sandler's real life daughter, Sunny) wants to go to ballet school, but he doesn't have the money, which means he needs to sober up and unretire to pay her way through. Meanwhile, a douchey rich guy (played by Uncut Gems co-director Benny Safdie) seeks to make golf less boring, creating a brand new version of golf based on Happy's unconventional golf-course behavior (and maybe a little bit on Nickelodeon game shows). Happy comes to odds with him, eventually hitting the green with a team of traditional golfers to beat him at his own game.
Yeah, this is pretty much what I expected a Happy Gilmore sequel to be.
I'll be honest, I laughed a lot more than I thought I was going to. I don't think that's because Happy Madison productions have magically aged like fine wine (which they haven't), but I also don't think it's fully because I have the original on a nostalgic pedestal in my head (which I do, but that's beside the point). There are typical lazy Sandler groaners lacing this movie, but I need to give it credit for having jokes that genuinely land and probably would have lolled at in any production and not just one that I grade on a curve. My biggest fear is that it would succumb to staleless, because Sandler made a career out of telling the same jokes over and over again and doing them worse every time. Happy Gilmore 2 isn't entirely free from this, but there is a coziness to this particular version of Sandler's escapades that makes it comfort food. I do think the movie baits heavy on nostalgia, perhaps too much. It often feels like it needs to punctuate itself by inserting clips of the original into it, like a Family Guy cutaway gag. I wish the movie would trust itself more, because the last thing it needs is to literally steal gags from the previous movie, not even bothering to redo them in its own production.
But there is a pulse to this movie that makes it more watchable than it probably should be. I was disappointed in the fridging of Virginia in this movie, but I was surprised that they kept her as a constant presence (like Rosario Dawson in Clerks III) that was always with Happy. And they didn't even replace her with someone younger and sexier as a love interest, like you would expect in a movie like this. The movie makes it clear that she was always Happy's entire world and he doesn't have eyes for any other women (of course, most of the female roles in this movie are played by Sandler's daughters, so that would be weird). That's actually really sweet. The movie has that warm and fuzzy nature to it, even in the gratuitous cameos. Even Margaret Qualley is here, for some reason. And she is hot shit right now and is in a position in her career that she wouldn't do a movie like this unless she legitimately wanted to be here (I'm assuming she has an affinity for the first movie). And she's having fun, too. It's cameos like this that give the movie vibes that it was made for love, even though the movie is basically Netflix pushing nostalgia because "Remember this?" has always drawn huge numbers for them, so it was more likely made for content. The fact that Happy Gilmore 2 has just enough heart to use those vibes to mask the cynicality of the machine that created it makes all the difference.
Movies Still Playing At My Theater
28 Years Later... ⭐️⭐️
Eddington ⭐️⭐️
F1 ⭐️⭐️
Jurassic World: Rebirth ⭐️1/2
Lilo & Stitch ⭐️⭐️
Smurfs ⭐️1/2
Superman ⭐️⭐️⭐️
New To Digital
Dangerous Animals ⭐️⭐️1/2
Lilo & Stitch ⭐️⭐️
Materialists ⭐️⭐️⭐️
New To Physical
Ash ⭐️⭐️1/2
Fight or Flight ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Coming Soon!
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