Multiplex Madness
Audrey's Children
⭐️⭐️
Genre: Drama
Director: Ami Canaan Mann
Starring: Natalie Dormer, Clancy Brown, Jimmi Simpson, Evelyn Giovine, Brandon Michael Hall
This bio-drama tells the story of Dr. Audrey Evans, who pushed boundaries in advancing chemotherapy studies while also laying the foundation for the Ronald McDonald House Charities. The film stars Natalie Dormer in the title role. I'm not sure how much of a household name she is, but she would probably be recognized by fanbases across the spectrum ranging from The Hunger Games to Game of Thrones. She's also recognizable to MCU fans as one of several adorable British women who make Chris Evans uncomfortable in the first Captain America movie (an impressive list that includes Hayley Atwell and Jenna Coleman). Dormer is someone who probably should have been a leading lady her entire career, because she is striking, witty, and charismatic, which are all tools she puts to good use in Audrey's Children. She's unfortunately stuck in a movie where she is the only one stepping up to give it the heart it deserves. Part of this is by design, because this is one of those movies where a woman is fighting for progress but isn't allowed to because "lol woman." Even though she has a group of characters who try to assist her, Dormer is the only performer here who is in it to win it. When the story largely hinges on the survival of young children, one would like to see stronger initiative taking place.
The thing I struggled with while watching this movie is that its drama would never shift out of neutral, settling for base ideas such as just feeling bad for very sick children and observing casual sexism. It's a movie that has enthusiasm for its subject but no enthusiasm to make it more compelling than its surface elements of a determined woman pushing herself on resentful white guys in power. There is probably a really good movie to be made out of Audrey Evans, and Audrey's Children feels like foundation more than a complete entity. I wouldn't call this a bad movie, just one that lacks stamina. It's a film that understands core elements of drama but is unsure how to use them to embellish its themes outside of just saying them outright. The film is an okay option for people who think inspirational drama has had a lacking presence in multiplexes lately as studios move away from it in favor of IP pusing. It's not a strong argument that more movies like it should be made, though. That's probably too much to put on one movie's shoulders, but, as the film's main character understands, if you're going to vie for attention, one needs to demand attention. Audrey's Children isn't as persistent as its protagonist, which seems like it's undercutting her.
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Action
Director: Shawn Silva
Starring: Billy Zane, Zach Roerig, Cara Jade Myers, Scott Adkins, Trace Adkins
Oh boy. A low-budget movie starring Billy Zane. Chances are that this won't end well for me.
Surprisingly, Day of Reckoning is a flawed, yet more entertaining than you might expect, low budget actioneer. I'm not saying it's likely to impress, but if you've seen as much shlock as I have, you might recognize that the movie isn't exactly heartless. It's a simple story, seeing Zane playing an on-the-edge U.S. Marshall who is holding an outlaw lady in a little house in the middle-of-nowhere, trying to lure her husband and his gang out to fetch her. The movie has the flavor of a modern day take on a classic Roger Corman produced crime potboiler, where the people making it had a set handy and wrote a swift screenplay about people yelling at each other in it with limited money on hand to make it. Appreciation of it will vary, but it is decent for what it is. I usually have zero expectations for movies like this that pop up at my cinema, so when one startles me with some value for my buck, I'll give it credit. But still, it plays best if one were to stumble across it on Tubi, and if someone told you it was actually in theaters you'd look at them like they were crazy.
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Comedy, Horror, Fantasy
Director: Alex Scharfman
Starting: Paul Rudd, Jenna Ortega, Will Poulter, Téa Leoni, Richard E. Grant
A24 has become one of the few actual studios with cinephile groupies for being reliable for three things: 1) really artsy dramas, 2) really bizarre comedies, and 3) really fucked-up horror movies. And, when we're lucky, they do a combination of the bunch. Their latest, ignoring the dud from a few weeks ago that was Opus, is a cross-breed between the latter two, offering up gory chaos in a comedic package. The high-concept premise sees father/daughter duo Paul Rudd and Jenna Ortega accidentally hitting a baby unicorn with their car, causing a rich family headed by Richard E. Grant to attempt to capitalize upon its magical properties, only to see baby's vicious parents seeking their child. It's a fun fantasy/horror/comedy idea, playing around with the idea of how sterile the reputation of unicorns have become, even though, if you look at mythology, they are supposed to be a bunch of self-superior, petty bitches. Death of a Unicorn feels like it should be a knee-slapping riot that is funny, weird, and crazy, but the idea of the movie is stronger than it is in practice. It's not that the movie doesn't apply itself; it's just easy to watch while thinking "Could be funnier," "Could be weirder," or "Could be crazier." It feels like a sterile representation of how wild this movie could be, which is even reflected in its characterization. Despite a talented cast all around, Will Poulter is the only stand-out, playing a narcissistic trust-fund butthead to perfection. Paul Rudd, by comparison, is used surprisingly sparingly, while Jenna Ortega is relegated to being a voice-of-reason straightman. The caricatures that Richard E. Grant and Téa Leoni are given feel like they should be more impressionable than they are, while they both feel underutilized as well. It's a script that feels like it's on to something, but is probably a draft way from really tapping into what it wants to be. That being said, the themes of the movie are interesting, ranging from the stripping of nature to just a genuine commentary on the capitalization of big pharma, finding a way to make the idea of a miracle cure for cancer sound as gross as possible. Death of a Unicorn has its merits, but it only barely glimpses its own potential.
⭐️⭐️1/2
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director: Peter Cattaneo
Starring: Steve Coogan, Jonathan Pryce
Steve Coogan plays a disillusioned English teacher in 1976 Argentina, failing to bring order to a room full of rowdy students in a country that is being ruled by a dictatorship. By happenstance, he rescues a penguin on a beach while trying to impress a woman, but he gains a little companion that slowly brings passion back into his life. It's probably best not to compare, but it's hard to not think about last year's My Penguin Friend while watching The Penguin Lessions, as they're both cutesy sentimental movies based on true stories about broken men who somehow gain a penguin as a pet. My Penguin Friend fell flat for me in a number of ways, and The Penguin Lessons is a flawed film as well, albeit it has a slightly more filled out screenplay that isn't entirely filled with melodramatic nonsense. The tone of The Penguin Lessons is a bit more off-beat, sometimes with a fumble, especially during it's set-up when it's struggling to capture the attention of the viewer. Things pick up when the penguin, Juan Salvador, is introduced and the film's themes come into play. The film becomes an ode to the therapeutic nature of pets, but it is also on a collision course with a counter-theme of era-appropriate human rights issues. The tonal mixture is jarring, but the movie remains cute, albeit to the backdrop of attrocity. The Penguin Lessons might be a slave to when and where this story actually takes place, and I'm curious about the dramatic liberties it takes, because I assume there are many. But if you're looking for the better slice of penguin schmaltz, The Penguin Lessons is pretty okay.
⭐️⭐️
Genre: Action
Director: David Ayer
Starring: Jason Statham, Michael Peña, David Harbour
David Ayer reteams with his Beekeeper star Jason Statham, probably hoping lightning would strike twice after last year's surprise hit. This time we also have Statham's Expendables co-star, Sylvester Stallone, in tow, helping draft a screenplay based on a novel called Levon's Trade. Stallone and Ayer now try to pass off the British martial arts expert as a redneck construction worker, who goes decides to use his ex-military skills to rescue the daughter of Michael Peña from a sex trafficking ring. Also, David Harbour is in this movie for five minutes of doing absolutely nothing, because why not have David Harbour in your movie? For those who are big fans of The Beekeeper, and there are apparently more than you'd expect, the question is whether on not A Working Man is a worthwhile diversion until Beekeeper 2 arrives (and yes, they're making one). Those who want to see Statham wisecrack in his distinctive accent and kick people's teeth in will get Jason Statham doing his thing. A Working Man is also less ludacris fun than The Beekeeper, choosing instead to lean into stoic action hero leading man melodrama. This is undoubtedly the contribution Stallone made to the screenplay, because while The Beekeeper felt like a silly Schwarzenegger movie, A Working Man feels like a mid Satallone movie. Stallone is not an untalented writer, because, as everyone knows, his first sold script resulted in an Oscar winner. Stallone's Achilles Heel has always been when he works with tropes, because he'll always lean into heavy dramatics to try and give them weight, but it most always results in absurd theatrics. A Working Man is very tropey, and it's also very melodramatic, with occasional hit-and-miss one-liners to try and lighten the mood (even from the damsel that Statham is trying to save). If one is big into action movies and is used to all of this, A Working Man is an easy recommendation. For those who have seen enough of that, you should probably skip it.
⭐️⭐️
Genre: Horror
Director: Jaume Collet-Serra
Starring: Danielle Deadwyler, Okwui Okpokwasili, Peyton Jackson, Estella Kahiha, Russell Hornsby
Blumhouse's latest high-concept horror cheapie sees a grieving family haunted by a lady who just sits in their yard, waiting for seemingly nothing. Instead of doing what any smart person would do and just spray her with the hose, they just let her stay there until she finally makes her move. Anticipation is an important tool in any horror movie's playbook. It's one that The Woman in the Yard bases its entire premise on but doesn't seem certain on how to use. We know the woman is there, we're all waiting for her to do something, we all know that once she does something, it's probably not going to be good. While we're waiting for her to do bad, there needs to be built tension. Her presence mostly seems just irritating.
👏 This. 👏 Is. 👏 Why. 👏 You. 👏 Spray. 👏 Her. 👏 With. 👏 The. 👏 HOSE. 👏
The movie's primary goal is more metaphorical, though. It wants everything to snap in place at the end as a representation of an emotional state instead of story. Without going into heavy details, it's The Babadook, except it sucks. That might be underselling it, because both The Woman in the Yard and The Babadook have very distinct representations of inner darkness and turmoil, the former being self-abusive and the latter being abusive to others, they're both based on similar ideas of people who have taken a dark turn at a low point in their adult life and manifested a monster through it, somehow. The key difference between the two films is that The Babadook manages to turn its metaphor into a full story with a reasonable open conclusion, while The Woman in the Yard has based several setpieces around it and seems aware of what kind of point it's making, but never figuring out what the whole is supposed to be or how to represent its open conclusion properly. I liked some of the things it was trying to do with it, but it definitely needed to go about it in a less dull and plodding way.
Movies Still Playing At My Theater
The Alto Knights ⭐️⭐️
Ash ⭐️⭐️1/2
Black Bag ⭐️⭐️1/2
The Day the Earth Blew Up ⭐️⭐️1/2
Last Breath ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Mickey 17 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Mufasa: The Lion King ⭐️⭐️1/2
Novocaine ⭐️⭐️1/2
Paddington in Peru ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Snow White ⭐️⭐️
New To Digital
Bring Them Down ⭐️⭐️⭐️
New To Physical
The Brutalist ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Coming Soon!