Multiplex Madness
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe
⭐⭐1/2
Genre: Drama, Romance
Director: Aitch Alberto
Starring: Max Pelayo, Reese Gonzales, Veronica Falcón, Kevin Alejandro, Eva Longoria, Eugenio Derbez
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3
The Nun II
I know I'm in a quiet minority, but I actually think the first Nun film is better than its reception would suggest. It has a humdrum script and a stupid ending, but its actually a pretty tightly crafted little chiller with excellent suspense sequences. If nothing else, The Nun II is an example of how much worse it could have been. This movie sees Taissa Farmiga's Sister Irene track her now possessed former companion from the first film, Frenchie, through Europe to stop the demon nun from stealing holy eyes or something that will make it a super nun or whatever the fuck. Typing that out, I'm almost half-interested to start and just trail off, which is the experience of watching this movie. It's just not much of anything. It feels like a horror sequel made to fill a franchise requirement of "Yeah, I guess we have to keep making these now." Maybe there is half an idea here, but its been too filled out with clutter, trash, and noise to make anything out of it. The plot dealing with Frenchie's possession is a neat starting point, and his bond with a little girl is kinda sweet, as is a little half-hearted romance with Anna Popplewell (who I haven't seen in a movie since Chronicles of Narnia, and seeing her here I was like "What? Really?"). But it loses itself when it becomes a horror movie. There are one or two decent fright scenes, but they're often buffered out with scare tactics that seem like they're from a different movie entirely. Creep factor is often interrupted by the demon nun screeching like a dinosaur and getting a few bloody kills in. That last point is especially odd because while Conjuring Universe movies have had characters die before (rarely, but occasionally), they have never been blood and gore "body count" horror movies. Here it feels like its reconfiguring itself into the stereotype of the horror sequel to keep gas in its tank, but it's just a mask to keep people from seeing that it's running of fumes.
Blood Flower
Sitting in Bars with Cake
Practically anything would be considered lighter counterprograming after Blood Flower. Here's a movie about cancer and cake!
Movies Still Playing At My Theater
Based on the bestselling young adult romance novel about two Mexican boys who bond during a summer together in El Paso and the slow realization over the next year that they may be more than friends, I can't attest to Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe's fidelity to the source material. What I will say is that it very much feels a slave to something, whether the text or something else. The movie's dialogue is very full, with characters taking turns saying hefty script chunks until its the next character's turn to speak. Y'know, something that plays out better on a page spaced out through detail than just said straight in real life. Aristotle and Dante threatens to become stilted line-reads that come close to derail it into full melodrama. Personally, I think that huge fans of the book probably won't care about that. I really liked the book The Outsiders growing up and enjoyed the movie too, but if I revisited it today I imagine I'd see the same things in it that I'm seeing in this ("Stay gold, Ponyboy." and all that). The flaws were probably always there, they just didn't matter to me. There's some deep and heavy stuff in this movie, and it's going to resonate with people, especially those who relate with its story of queer self-realization and the journeys of both denial and certainty. It could be in a more well-rounded package, but it has its place in the world.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3
⭐⭐1/2
Genre: Comedy
Director: Nia Vardalos
Starring: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett, Louis Mandylor, Elena Kampouris, Gina Carides, Joey Fatone, Lainie Kazan, Andrea Martin
I mean, if Clerks can be a trilogy, who's to say My Big Fat Greek Wedding can't be? Let the indie successes milk it just like the big studios.
Full disclosure, I haven't seen the first two Greek Wedding movies (nor the short-lived sitcom spinoff My Big Fat Greek Life, which I assume is the Clerks: The Animated Series of My Big Fat Greek Wedding), so I'm not all caught up on the lore of this franchise. I think I get it. They're Greek and they're at a wedding, right? Oh, there's no wedding in this one? Okay, I'll adjust. Oh wait, the conclusion has a surprise wedding? Okay, recalibrating. What I discovered about the Greek Wedding franchise is that it seems that it's not so much about plot as it is letting its characters be characters, setting them loose to do whatever. It just largely depends on surrounding, where this one sees the family heading to Greece for a reunion after the passing of their head honcho father. What comes next is a series of vignettes that just stem from each character's personality, including a romcom subplot featuring the main character's daughter and some boy named Aristotle (this is the second romance featuring some boy named Aristotle I've seen this week and I'm scared). "She's not into nerds," he claims, brushing of the sexual tension. Dude, you have the hair of a young Zak Efron. Shut the fuck up. It's a goofball time with oddball caricatures, and if you appreciate the Greek Wedding franchise for that aspect, this will be a good time for you. It's not that good a movie, but it is a movie that has a warm glow about it. I didn't really laugh at it, but I did have a pleasant time watching it.
The Nun II
⭐1/2
Genre: Horror
Director: Michael Chavez
Starring: Taissa Farmiga, Jonas Bloquet, Storm Reid, Anna Popplewell, Katelyn Rose Downey, Bonnie Aarons
I know I'm in a quiet minority, but I actually think the first Nun film is better than its reception would suggest. It has a humdrum script and a stupid ending, but its actually a pretty tightly crafted little chiller with excellent suspense sequences. If nothing else, The Nun II is an example of how much worse it could have been. This movie sees Taissa Farmiga's Sister Irene track her now possessed former companion from the first film, Frenchie, through Europe to stop the demon nun from stealing holy eyes or something that will make it a super nun or whatever the fuck. Typing that out, I'm almost half-interested to start and just trail off, which is the experience of watching this movie. It's just not much of anything. It feels like a horror sequel made to fill a franchise requirement of "Yeah, I guess we have to keep making these now." Maybe there is half an idea here, but its been too filled out with clutter, trash, and noise to make anything out of it. The plot dealing with Frenchie's possession is a neat starting point, and his bond with a little girl is kinda sweet, as is a little half-hearted romance with Anna Popplewell (who I haven't seen in a movie since Chronicles of Narnia, and seeing her here I was like "What? Really?"). But it loses itself when it becomes a horror movie. There are one or two decent fright scenes, but they're often buffered out with scare tactics that seem like they're from a different movie entirely. Creep factor is often interrupted by the demon nun screeching like a dinosaur and getting a few bloody kills in. That last point is especially odd because while Conjuring Universe movies have had characters die before (rarely, but occasionally), they have never been blood and gore "body count" horror movies. Here it feels like its reconfiguring itself into the stereotype of the horror sequel to keep gas in its tank, but it's just a mask to keep people from seeing that it's running of fumes.
Netflix & Chill
Blood Flower
⭐⭐1/2
Streaming On: Shudder
Genre: Horror
Director: Dain Said
Starring: Idan Aedan, Bront Palarae, Remy Ishak, Nadya Nissa, Arnie Shasha
Shudder continues to ramp up its output with this Malaysian supernatural horror, which is heavy on style but also on melodrama. This one sees a supernatural entity break out in an apartment building where a family of supernaturally sensitive people happen to reside, which seems to originate in an exotic flora garden. There is a lot of promise in this movie, as it holds nothing back with its grim tone and horrific events, including herky-jerky ghosts, gory mutilation, and body horror. It's interestingly put together, often seeing creepies doing the crawlies while the characters tend to either not notice or ignore them. The closest I can describe this movie is that it kinda feels like a halfway point between the visually ballet-like haunted house take of the original Ju-On film and the unhappy rotting corpse ghost movie of that Grudge reboot from 2020. The combination of the two is certainly something to behold, I just wish it were in a movie that was juggling less than this movie. It feels like this family group with demon familiarity is how this movie is trying to hook its audience into yet another haunted house movie but it feels they're taking a backseat to the horror sequences. I never get a feel for them as characters so I'm just supposed to sit and accept that they know how to navigate what's going on. There's a correct way to do this; for example, the Warrens from the Conjuring series (any opinion of their real-life counterparts set aside) work as protagonists because they're fully fleshed out as characters and their relationship to the supernatural is the point of the movies. With Blood Flower, we have these characters who relate to the supernatural but they're just victims of it. It's an unnecessary added element that complicates the movie too much, and because it's so underserved, the emotion they try to attach to it feels empty. Despite that, this movie has a lot to recommend about it, especially to horror buffs. Supporting player Arnie Shasha is absolutely fabulous in this movie as tomboy Ah Boy, especially during the climax where she gets to do some pretty hardcore demonic stuff. The movie is a dark ride, just know it's also a bumpy one.
Sitting in Bars with Cake
⭐⭐⭐
Streaming On: Prime
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director: Trish Sie
Starring: Yara Shahidi, Odessa A'zion, Bette Midler
Practically anything would be considered lighter counterprograming after Blood Flower. Here's a movie about cancer and cake!
This dramedy is about a socially awkward woman who is passionate about baking, so her girlfriends come up with the idea that she should give cake out at bars to meet men. And you'd be surprised how hard they set this scheme up. Like, it's such a weirdly elaborate battle plan that they construct to make someone un-single, especially when you can boil it down to "make cake, feed people sweets," because, as the saying goes, "You can catch more flies with honey" ect. After the flamboyant montage, it takes one hell of a left turn, where her best friend finds out she has a tumor in her head.
I feel like I've signed up for a completely different movie.
But the movie is inspired by a true story, where author and screenwriter Audrey Shulman actually concocted this cake/bar idea and saw her best friend battle cancer at the same time, which inspired a blog, book, and this movie. The tonal shift is jarring at first, but there is something that works about it, as it shifts from being a setup for a humdrum romcom and it rewires itself into a celebration of friendship and how the influence of one person can change our lives for the better, even when their only goal is to eat cake and get laid. Yara Shahidi and Odessa A'zion shine in this movie, giving funny and touching performances full of chemistry. They carry the movie to the point where it will make you laugh, cry, and maybe a little hungry.
Movies Still Playing At My Theater
The Equalizer 3 ⭐⭐⭐
Gran Turismo ⭐⭐1/2
Jurassic Park ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Oppenheimer ⭐⭐⭐
Strays ⭐⭐1/2
Talk to Me ⭐⭐⭐⭐
New To Digital
Strays ⭐⭐1/2
New To Physical
Coming Soon!
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