1303-Beyond Atlantis

Film Year:  1973

Genre:  Adventure, Fantasy

Director:  Eddie Romeo

Starring:  Patrick Wayne, John Ashley, Leigh Christian, Sid Haig, Lenore Stevens, George Nader, Vic Diaz

MST Season:  13

Host:  Emily

The Movie

*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*

From one of the directors of Danger on Tiki Island, this flick from the Philippines has a group of pearl hunters setting sail for a mysterious island for the chance to find some easy white gold.  Once there they encounter a group of natives that can live both on the surface and under the ocean.  Most of these natives are mutated, with the exception of the beautiful and scantily-clad Syriana.  Syriana is also the only one of the tribe who is still able to bear children and has been ordered by her tribe chief and father to mate with one of the outsiders and conceive.

Beyond Atlantis stars the son of legendary actor John Wayne, Patrick Wayne, as the lead, who reportedly negotiated the idea that if he were to star in the film then it would have to be rated PG.  The production then had to scale back its exploitation quite a bit to accommodate this (apparently all the tribe women in this film were supposed to be topless in the early vision for it).  You can tell by watching the film that exploiting the female form is very much on the mind of this movie but it's refraining from going the full nine yards.  Instead it takes a note from the playbook of One Million Years B.C., where part of what made that movie a success was blossoming teenage boys discovering sex through Raquel Welch's animal skin bikini while dads may very feel like sitting through the movie too.  The idea is admittedly timeless, as it has been utilized many times since.  My personal blossoming experience was either Halle Berry in the Flintstones movie or Jennifer O'Dell in the crappy syndicated series The Lost World, pick your poison.

Because it feels like it would be more interesting if it were exploitive, Beyond Atlantis is a bit flaccid.  The bikinis are nice and everything, and we get some nice 360 degree angles of Leigh Christian during her underwater scenes, but its a very inert film.  It feels a bit too casually paced, and if the movie were giving us something...how should I put this...more visual to admire than just a pretty island scenery, then the slow pace may not slog as much.

Or it could potentially fling it in a different direction and make it too sexually deviant.  This is a very rapey flick.  Not only does the premise somewhat hinge on a woman raping outsiders, the movie has a very primate-like look on sex in general.  There is a scene early on in which John Ashley attempts to seduce Lenore Stephens' character, which is just a notch above him grunting at her and dragging her to bed.  It's a film that's obviously written by men for men to watch and nod their heads at.

Not helping the lack of momentum in the plot is the acting, which is stiff and wooden and reading from a script full of jive talk.  The actors look mostly bored, with the most lively performance coming from the late character actor Sid Haig, who is just colorful enough to make the best of this movie in his scenes.  Also clogging up the movie is the majority of underwater scenes, which pad out the movie so much that even Thunderball would be envious of it.  The photography is beautiful, and its often used to show off shapely female bodies, but it rarely helps the narrative.  The film is also underlined by a synth score by Ed Norton (Honeymooners Ed Norton or American History X Ed Norton?).  All I can say is John Carpenter he is not.

Beyond Atlantis isn't quite a bad time but it does get dry and dull.  It's a movie with a batch of ideas on how to make itself appealing that doesn't really form any of them fully.  But there are some kicks to be had if you dig deep enough into its silliness.

The Episode

Well hello, fresh meat!  Are you ready for the grinder?

It's been several years in the making and the day is finally here:  Emily Marsh, Conor McGiffin, and Yvonne Ingrid Freese have made their in-theater debut on Mystery Science Theater 3000 as Emily Connor, Tom Servo, and GPC/GPC2.  We've been seeing them pop up in fan events for the series since 2019, and it wasn't always clear what the intent was for them. But now they are official canon to the series, serving as a second host and group of Bots being experimented alongside Jonah and his Bots.

But there is a bit of an elephant in the room with this debut, and that's the outing of Nate Begle as Emily's Crow T. Robot, who has been with the group through two live tours and several Turkey Days, while also riffing a short with Emily and Conor during Turkey Day 2020 and was also promised to be Emily's Crow in the upcoming series as he, his fedora, and Ed Wynn impression were with us all throughout the Kickstarter.  Nate very quietly left the series after the last tour ended and official statements from the project have been light and vague.  Whatever the reason for Nate's departure, I wish him the best.  It's clear that he is a very funny and talented guy.

How they worked around Nate's departure was a bit of a question mark.  We had no real way of knowing whether or not his performances in the episodes he had already filmed would be left intact, and I was working under the assumption that they would be because dubbing over a comedy performance is a dangerous game to play.  Besides, even if Nate only had four episodes under his belt, he'd still only have the second shortest stint as the Bot on the series (following Josh Weinstein, who picked up the Crow puppet for Invaders of the Deep and Gamera during the KTMA season).  But this was not to be, and it looks like we have a dubbed performance by Crow's new performer, Kelsey Ann Brady.  Kelsey is a puppeteer who seemed to join the last live tour as an understudy for various performers and jumped in during various tour dates while Nate bowed out as his wife gave birth.  Following the end of the tour, it seems she was hired to take over for him and dub over his performance on previously filmed episodes, making her the first woman to play the role.

And I know what you're thinking, "Crow's a dude!  MST3K has gone woke!"  First of all, it dates back to the KTMA season that his name is an acronym for Cybernetic Remote Operated Woman, so the idea that Crow is female has precedent, and secondly Crow is a robot/puppet and has no sex organs to speak of.  I'm sure if you were to ask him today what gender he identifies with he'd say "Mr. B Natural" while adding that his pronouns are "Lick/Me."  If it means that much to you, go cry to the Quartering to make a whiney YouTube video about it while fishing for SuperChats.  Personally I think there is no real reason why Crow can't be a woman, because he has no defining traits that are distinctly male.  He's just a bit of a spitfire that likes to start trouble, with an artistic side.  It seems to me that Tom Servo is the one that probably should always be played by a male performer, as his sense of self-confidence should always be played with a hint of toxic masculinity.

Okay, enough digression.  The new cast is here, how do they do?  I must say, they are quite excellent.  Emily adds such an fun and distinct flavor to the host role that really livens it up, while Conor does some excellent work with Tom Servo that puts him up there with Kevin Murphy in his energy (though I prefer Baron Vaughn's take on the theme song, myself).  Kelsey is a bit of an odd duck to grade, because there is that sense of a slight detachment to the episode because of how she's worked in.  Certain things feel like they were written specifically for Nate that she's trying her hardest to adapt to, with mixed results.  I want to see more of her Crow outside of talking over a previous performance, though she does show promise.  Her take on Crow is a bit like a mischievous child who always sounds like they have a bad idea they want to try in the back of their head, while vocally she seems to take influence from the vocal work of Nancy Cartwright and Pamela Hayden on The Simpsons as her Crow voice sounds like a mixture between Nelson Muntz and Milhouse Van Houten.  Giving Kelsey her own material would probably help her evolve the character to her advantage.  That said, she seems more confident with Crow than Bill did during his first appearance, so Kelsey certainly can take her distinctive version of Crow and run with it in the future.

I'm not going to lie, I'm very curious to hear the original Nate audio of this episode.  I can easily picture the riffs and host segments playing out with his voice and I'd have much rather have heard all of this in their natural state (I especially want to hear Nate's game show host in the second segment).  That's not a knock against Kelsey, I just think Nate's strengths aren't necessarily her strengths and I think it does Kelsey a disservice to shoehorn her into material that is written for someone else.

Interestingly, the entire episode doesn't take place on the Satellite of Love at all, as Emily is finishing work on Kinga's new "Simulator of Love" in which Kinga traps her new stooge inside with a pair of freshly programed Bots of her own, including her own GPC, which Emily off-handedly upgrades to a GPC2 model in the final segment, which is really just the live tour puppet.  Interestingly enough, Emily's Tom Servo has a head that glows off and on that I don't believe we've seen in Jonah's.  It's kind of a neat effect and I dig it.  Other segments include everyone busting out their best Sid Haig impression at EddieCon (Emily's beard helmet is hilarious), a Pyramid/Password style gameshow featuring killer crabs, Emily reading from East Eddie's SAT Prep (70's Dirtbag Edition), and a wonderful closing rap of "Mother Crabber" (based on a line of vernacular Sig Haig drops in the film), of which the entire cast completely hits a home run with.  There is also a cameo of encouragement by Jonah, who communicates with his fellow space castaway via a viewing screen and they have a nice gab session.  Emily does question how Jonah hasn't outsmarted Kinga and Max yet as they don't seem that bright, though personally I'd say Jonah gave them a good workaround at the end of last season.  But Emily didn't see that.  The Invention Exchange features Emily showing off the Simulator of Love's giant mech hands, while the Mads have a toothpaste for houseplants called "Plantsodyne," which is just an excuse to show off a houseplant prop with chattering teeth (which would likely have made more sense as a lead-in to the next episode's movie, Munchie, which you'll see why once you see the opening credits).

"Can't we just get BEYOND Atlantis?"  (We all knew this quip was coming)

Getting inside the theater, it was early on that I just started to feel in my gut that I was going to really enjoy this riff, as our leading lady does her soft ascent onto the island's beach, only to have Emily and the Bots pretend the natives are environmentalists encouraging her to leave because it's a "protected beach" and her presence is disrupting hatching turtle eggs.  I laughed, and I continued laughing throughout the movie.  The riffing on Beyond Atlantis is easily the best we've seen yet this season.  I had some reservations about this movie considering how stationary it is, but the best aspect of it is that even when it's still there is always something intriguing about it to point out.  The movie is increasingly sexist fueled by the toxic masculinity of the main characters.  All the jive talk sets a fire under Emily and the Bots, who run with the cringe testosterone of the flick in many different directions, as they mock the "romance" scenes and the male bonding between greedy pirates.  One riff I greatly enjoyed in this area is just a reaction from Tom Servo, after one of our leads mentions he's going to use his share to buy some "fighting cocks."  There are also plenty of riffs that seem specifically to target my generation, such as the line "I killed their Smurfette," which made me laugh harder than it had any right to.  I've also now lived long enough to see an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 make references to Dino-Riders, Legends of the Hidden Temple, and Are You Afraid of the Dark?  I think I'm officially an old man.  Is this what it was like for boomers to hear references to Supercar during the original series?

"And you talk to me in English!"

"That's why American tourists are beloved the world over!"

Beyond Atlantis is an absolute blast from start to finish and easily the best episode of the season thus far.  Unfortunately it takes that title with a little bit of an asterisk in knowing that there is an alternate version of this episode that we will likely never see that might have a better flow to it because it's how it was originally filmed (#ReleaseTheBegleCut?) and knowing that we have a few more episodes that are going to be exactly like this.  But accepting the cards where they lie, it definitely leaves the last two episodes in the dust and is an impressive debut for Emily, Conor, Kelsey, and Yvonne.  One might even say it could arguably be the best cast-debut on the show, as it's easily equal to the likes of The Brain That Wouldn't Die, Revenge of the Creature, and Reptilicus.  Whether it's better than all of them is something I'm not prepared to answer at this time, but what I know in this moment is that I laughed a lot and plan on enjoying this episode many times over down the road.  Great job, rookies.  Now I just need the veterans to give me one this good.

Good

The Backer Livestream

Everything is much more straightforward in this livestream, as they throw the pleasantries out the window and just jump right into the episode, only to greet us at the end for a little roundtable with producer Matt McGinnis, creator Joel Hodgson, and the "new guys" Emily Marsh, Conor McGiffin, and Kelsey Ann Brady (Yvonne Ingrid Freese was unable to attend, but she wasn't in much of the episode anyway).  Joel actually bows out early, so this largely becomes a celebration of the noobs, as they discuss the episode, how they got hired, and compare live performance against studio work (which they all seem to agree are both stressful for different reasons).

This is also the first time Kelsey has joined us during these Zoom discussions (at least that I recall).  She's very bubbly, and she is a performer at heart, because she playacts for the camera in reaction and is constantly playing with little props she has around her, which include Funko Pops of Crow and Bart Simpson and little tiny plastic hands (that freak Matt out at one point).  Kelsey's fidgety handplay seems to rub off on Emily, who is constantly playing with her own prop that she has in reach...a recorder.  So if you're watching with earbuds, now would be a good time to turn down the volume, because she will play it.  You have been warned.  Conor is a bit more calmer than his handsy co-stars, though he does play with sunglasses and a pair of scissors at one point.

The Q&A has more questions specifically for Kelsey than Emily and Conor, which is natural because she's largely an enigma to us.  I found her discussion on how she came up with her Crow voice and how it's different from those who came before her interesting.  They do spend a lot of time discussing the episode at hand (which is more than we got last week), as they talk about filming the instant classic "Mother Crabber" host segment and have a back and forth about their favorite riffs.  Matt also gives Kelsey shit about her Seinfeld impression, and Emily relates an embarrassing moment from the live tour where she had a brain fart and didn't recognize the word "whom" on her riff script while onstage.  Speaking of farts, we also get a little too personal about how well they know each other from their time on the road.

And the answer is no, they never mention the word that begins with "N" and ends with "-ate."  The do seem to be tiptoeing around it, especially when they talk about getting cast on the series and Kelsey doesn't talk very specifically about how she got upgraded to a full castmember while Emily and Conor are both fairly thorough, though she does relate she wasn't the original pick for the job.

It's a fun livestream accompanying a wildly enjoyable episode.  It was definitely a step-up from the all-business, very rehearsed discussion they had for Robot Wars.  And it's revealed that once the finalized versions of Santo, Robot Wars, and Beyond Atlantis stream next week, we'll have some new livestreams to accompany them.

Great.  Give me more shit to type out, why don't ya?

The Premiere Livestream

If you were worried about this livestream having less talk about farts, worry no longer because there is plenty to go around.  Also mixed with the smell of pee and feet too!  It's easily what Matt calls the "Worst Craigslist ad ever" or what Kelsey calls "The BEST!"

This stream largely has the same participants as the backer stream.  The only inclusion we have here that we didn't get for the previous one is Yvonne Freese was able to attend this time.  Otherwise, it's Matt McGinnis, Emily Marsh, Conor McGiffin, and Kelsey Ann Brady are back to talk about how much their bus stinks and how much Emily doesn't want to watch Making Contact again.  Joel also pops in briefly and leaves early on after telling everyone how great they are.  That's two streams with this cast in a row that he bails on.  What did Kelsey do to you, Joel?

Taking in all of that, my big fear for this stream is that it would feel exactly the same as the backer stream.  Luckily maybe forty percent of all the material here feels like it was covered in that one, so it felt mostly fresh to me.  Matt deserves a lot of credit here for picking a batch of questions that weren't asked in the last stream, which covers a lot of new bases like the origin of Emily's surname in the series (which we all guessed came from Terminator, though she said she favored Norris after everyone's favorite Chuck) and the differences between puppeteering Servo and Crow.  I liked the puppeteering questions quite a bit, because Conor goes into detail about not being a trained puppeteer and learning all these different moves he could do with the Servo puppet, while Kelsey talks about how top-heavy Crow is but claims he is a less frustrating puppet than several she worked with when she worked for Disney.  Emily and Yvonne also talk about writing the episode and how they thought the writer's room was exceptional for this episode as well as the odd things about the movie they found funny (Emily is obsessed with the Atlantean eyes).

Well-trodden ground has us covering the audition process for this group again, which we had already covered previously and Kelsey is notably silent for, as she wasn't the original choice for Crow (and no, Nate isn't brought up during this stream either, and I wouldn't expect them to at this point, honestly).  But we do get to hear from Yvonne about what she went through, which includes a funny story about someone trying to steal the seat she was sleeping in at the airport.  They also again talk about the origins of the Mother Crabber rap.

Probably the key thing to this livestream is that it's very funny.  Everyone is in great spirits during it and they're all playing around, likely because they talked about this episode a week ago and are just trying to keep things fun.  And when the sunglasses come out, you know they mean business.  This is a another fun night with the best episode yet this season, and this one deserves it because it sells us on this cast hard and it stands tall with a lot of the most sturdy episodes of the series.  And now that these three episodes are out there for everyone to see, the countdown is on to Munchie, which we all get to suffer through together.