MST3K, RiffTrax, and My Cinema Playground: Cinema Playground Journal 2026: Week 32 (My Cinema Playground)

Multiplex Madness

Ice Cream Man

⭐️1/2

Genre: Horror, Comedy

Director: Eli Roth

Starring: Ari Millen, Charlie Zeltzer, Shiloh O'Reilly, Kiori Mirza Waldman, Sarah Abbott, Benjamin Byron Davis

I took in the Monday Mystery Movie for the first time in a few years because it was advertised as "Horror Edition" and I thought there was a non-zero chance that it would be Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma. I knew the only other likely film it would be was Ice Cream Man, but I took my chances. Oh well, if a gamble always paid off, it wouldn't be a gamble.

In spite of the title, Ice Cream Man has nothing to do with the Clint Howard classic of the same name (which was also turned into RiffTrax fodder), and director Eli Roth comes up with his own story to fit this unconventional horror antagonist. His version has a mysterious ice cream man appear in town whose ice cream creates a sort of Pied Piper effect on the children. Eventually, the kids of the town fall into a trance and start murdering all of the adults in a playful manner. This movie is basically a zombie movie with sugary aesthetics, told from the perspective of thirteen-year-olds who all know if they eat dairy, they become "one of them." I won't lie, there is some entertainment to be had in the movie's relentless "no fucks to give" approach. The movie has base camp appeal in the idea of children gleefully causing death and mayhem in mass and with laughter. It can't maintain it as it stretches its high-concept short film idea into a very thin feature film. Very little happens in this movie outside of someone new popping up every five seconds to set up an elaborate death scene. As playful as the movie is, it gets exhausting because for a movie that is intent of being outside-the-box, it's too one-note. The shock laughs end after five minutes because the movie just keeps repeating the same beats over and over. As far as off-beat outsider cinema goes, I didn't have a bad time, but it can get pretty boring.

One Night Only

⭐️⭐️

Genre: Comedy, Romance

Director: Will Gluck

Starring: Monica Barbaro, Callum Turner, Molly Ringwald, LeVar Burton, Maya Hawke, Julia Fox, Michelle Hurd, Charlie Gillespie

Hey, look. It's that movie that is "The Purge but horny." Some movies are only designed to have a premise that is destined to become a meme, and One Night Only is not only one of those movies but it's so brazenly an attempt at one that the idea that it exists at all is what accidentally became the meme. So, in case you weren't aware of this movie, the concept is that premarital sex has been outlawed except for one night a year. That night has Callum Turner being dumped by his girlfriend and Monica Barbaro seeking a fleeting romantic connection with whichever partner she finds herself with. The pair constantly bump into each other during a series of sexual misadventures that always end in disaster.

To be frank, this law doesn't seem very enforceable. Sex isn't like drugs where you can catch people with weed or paraphernalia. All that's required of it is two people going into a room and taking their pants off. It tries to cover itself with "lore" about some magic tattoo, but somehow the tattoo can tell the difference between actual sex and masturbation, which is borderline nonsense because if brings up a whole host of questions about how it functions. Is it about simultaneous build-up of stimulation in the same vicinity? Or is it some form of male/female penetration sensor? How can it tell when two people aren't just turned on in the same room? How can it tell when gay men or lesbians are having sex? How does it sense oral? How does it sense...ya'know, butt stuff? What about people who like feet? And if the you have achieved married status, can it sense when you are having sex with another married person who isn't your legal partner? Could everyone get legally married and then just hook up, changing the idea of marriage into just a word that makes it legal to have sex with other people who have achieved the same status? This is some Starship Troopers "Citizen" shit. There is so much to cover here. And honestly, even if this tattoo did work the way it claims it does, this law is destined for failure. Human nature, by design, would completely reject it, people would ignore it on mass, and jail space would be so minimal for violators that this law would be repealed within months. I think the movie has convinced itself that it's being a parody of prudish lawmakers taking away liberties regarding sexuality amd birth control, but the movie honestly isn't that smart. The movie isn't interested in having this discussion because we could have a raunchy romcom insteaf. It's just an excuse to set up setpieces of sex jokes and romantic tension.

But until proven otherwise, I firmly believe that butt stuff is the way to beat the system.

Taking the film's commentary failure out of the equation, one has to judge the movie as a romcom, and it isn't very romantic nor funny. One can see the ideas they're playing with, as a mutual force of romantic attraction overcomes a night of lust between the two leads. It doesn't hit very strongly because, as a sex comedy, it doesn't deliver the goods. The movie teeters between being moderately amusing and awkwardly strange in all of the scenarios it pummels its characters with, ending more than one scene with that nagging thought of "But why would you...ugh, nevermind." It's trying to be wacky and sexy at the same time and both aspects rob each other of their strengths. Each detour gets more forced as the film goes on and the movie accidentally winds up confusing as a result.

It's a shame because Monica Barbaro probably deserves a big spotlight movie, and she's suitably charismatic in this. Callum Turner has had his time to shine in other movies, but Barbaro's career highlight is Top Gun: Maverick and she wasn't even in it that much, and her last starring role was a different mediocre romcom that wound up deleted from the streaming service it was made for and reduced to a tax write-off. Maybe one day she'll find something that works for her. Even if this movie hits it big, it's easily forgettable and would only be a pathway into even more forgettable romcoms. The road to the Hallmark Channel is very dangerous and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

Super Troopers 3: Farva's Wedding

⭐️⭐️1/2

Genre: Comedy

Director: Jay Chandrasekhar

Starring: Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske, Hannah Simone, Nat Faxon, Chace Crawford, Brian Cox

You're going to have to bear with me. I watched the original Super Troopers when it came out and remember nothing about it. Never saw the second one, and the only other Broken Lizard movie I've seen was Club Dread, which I also remember nothing about. Speaking as someone with no real connection to this particular trilogy, sometimes some meaningless irreverence is perfectly adequate as silly entertainment. There is a chance that if I went into this movie with a more sour mood than I did, I would have been more neutral, but I had a good time.

I have very little memory of who any of these characters are, but the premise centers on these goofy Vermont State Troopers that have built a cult following over the past few decades, with two of them about to become brother-in-laws, as the uncouth Farva is about to marry Thorny's sister. Not wanting the nuptuals to take place, Thorny begins to scheme of ruining the wedding. A sitcom premise that results in obvious attempts at belly laughs, Super Troopers 3 is nothing noteworthy, but there is an appeal to it. Not everyone is going to see the this group of bored, borderline incompetent cops and laugh at it. It's pretty lowbrow, and not always in a well-crafted way. But if something can be said for the Broken Lizard style, it's that they do know how to time their jokes well and, while they're not all gutbusters, they know how to deliver them. Sometimes the movie can coast on pushing the line, but potential insensitivity is softened because the actual insensitivity being portrayed is the joke and not any group that's being punched down upon. And mostly the movie is a series of irreverence jumping through plot hoops. Maybe there is a drug conspiracy to be solved. Maybe there is a mystery to how Farva met Thorny's sister (and it's actually obvious from minute one how that happened). Maybe there is a series of events about hardened and set-in-their-ways State Troopers who are used to traditional gasoline-powered transport learning to love an electric vehicle (maybe too literally). There's bachelor party shenanigans. There are meeting-the-parents shenanigans. There is even a bit of action that might be an homage to Dukes of Hazard (one of the cars has a non-Confederate American flag on top of it, so...). It's a lot of scenarios to inject humor in, and I found them more entertaining than not.

It is kinda sad that Jay Chandrasekhar and the Broken Lizard gang have been roped into doing nothing but repeating their one actual success over and over again, but maybe there is a minor winning formula in the Super Troopers legacy. If it stays fun, maybe it's worth keeping alive.

Movies Still Playing At My Theater

I Want Your Sex ⭐️⭐️1/2

The Invite ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Minions & Monsters ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

Moana ⭐️1/2

(Obsession is gone 😭)

The Odyssey ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Spider-Man: Brand New Day ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Toy Story 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

New To Digital

Couture ⭐️⭐️

Evil Dead Burn ⭐️⭐️⭐️