RT02-Deathsport

Film Year:  1978

Genre:  Science Fiction, Action

Director:  Allan Arkush, Nicholas Niciphor

Starring:  David Carradine, Claudia Jennings, Richard Lynch

MST Season:  The RiffTrax Experiments

Featured Short:  "Personal Hygiene for Boys"

The Short

Let's face it, if you're a teenager and you're male, then you smell like a rotting pile of gym socks (and let's not talk about what you use those socks for in the privacy of your own bedroom).  The same can't be said for women.  Women always smell like flowers and perfume.  It's just you shameful boys.  This short is all about getting rid of that high school stank that you're dragging around, as we watch all these young men get all oily and greasy and then lather up and hit the showers.

This is the all-male alternative to Brian De Palma's opening to Carrie.  I feel like I'm going to be put on some sort of sex offender registry.

Maybe it seems pointless to have a video showing teenagers how to bathe, but then I thought back to when I hit that post-pubescent point where certain things started to chafe smell, and I recall everything going to hell.  Maybe we should have instructions on how to work all of this new plumbing.  The short itself seems kinda vague about it, as some of its advice is just "Use shampoo" and the like.  Gee, thanks.  My parents could have told me that.

Then it randomly becomes an anti-drug PSA and I don't even know what that has to do with washing my naughty bits.  That brief message is "Just...just don't."

The Movie

*I'VE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*

Roger Corman produced Death Race 2000 in 1975, which went on to become a hit for his studio and a cult classic.  For some reason he opted not to do a direct sequel (not for another forty years, anyway) and instead crafted a spiritual successor called Deathsport three years later, also headlined by David Carradine.  Recycling the whole murder sport entertainment aspect of Death Race, Deathsport is a little less direct and more meandering.  Coming off as Planet of the Apes meets The Running Man, Carradine is a hapless grunt kidnapped by one of those mean post-apocalyptic governments to participate in Deathsport, a competition for convicts to survive disintegrating guns attached to motorcycles in exchange for their freedom.  Carradine survives this about halfway through and escapes, then the rest is a manhunt throughout the dessert with a group of companions.

Let me tell you, I know Death Race 2000, and Deathsport is no Death Race 2000.  Death Race is trashy, but it's a frantic Looney Tunes ride from start to finish.  Deathsport just does not have the same manic energy, killing its momentum out of the gate.  For B-movie watchers, I'd hesitate to call it one to avoid.  While it's certainly not its predecessor, there are still some elements to play with and have a few lulz at.

Deathsport has some playfully goofy aesthetic choices, looking almost like Escape 2000 had a baby with Deathstalker.  The props are all crazy looking, from tubelike death rays that turn someone red then make them vanish in a sudden cut to silly transparent plastic swords that look like they came directly from a toy store.  The latter especially tickled me, because when they're unsheathed for the film's swordfight finale, the movie becomes a softcore version of Highlander.  There's also some extensive nudity in the film (edited out of the MST version) for those who enjoyed that aspect of Death Race.  Not nearly as much as that preceding film, and it's mostly just Claudia Jennings stripping down and putting on her bikini again, but the exploitation is properly exploited.

Another spiritual successor was planned after Deathsport, called Deathworld.  After Deathsport bombed at the box office and Carradine practically disowned the film, Deathworld was cancelled and this weird little franchise laid dormant until Paul W.S. Anderson reworked it into his remake of Death Race, which is actually just a grunge version of Super Mario Kart starring Jason Statham.  It's such a weird little franchise to overview, though.  And Deathsport is this odd little diversion in it that marks its low point.  But being a low point in a Roger Corman produced franchise is an exceptional level of bad.

The Episode

Deathsport was initially announced for the proposed Season 14 from the failed fundraiser a few years back.  Sadly, that project never materialized.  Deathsport is a pretty good selection for the show and I'm happy to see that we found our way back to it.

Now comes the hard part.  I really didn't care for this one.

The movie holds up its side of the bargain.  There are so many weird and interesting things in this movie to make comedy out of.  I kept getting irritated that it wasn't really taking advantage of them.  A lot of the jokes in this episode feel like a verbal equivalent of a pratfall, just taking a bunt on an easy joke instead of crafting something exceptional about it.  For example, David Carradine unsheathes his sword for the first time, revealing that it's a chunky hunk of transparent plastic, but instead of commenting upon that, Servo decides to make the observation that the unsheathing sound is like a slidewhistle.

Yeah.  I guess.  That seems like the least of what's going on in that scene, but whatever.

Then there is the constant napalm that is haunting this production.  Literally every motorbike seems to explode for little to no reason in this movie.  It's very much like action gags they'd do on The Simpsons.  Upon one just driving into a tunnel, only to just burst into a ball of flame.  Mike's response to this is "Tunnels!  They explode!"

Sigh.

Look, I get it.  There's not really much you can add to a scene like that, and sometimes less is more when you're building comedy on top of something, but I just feel like this is a variation on a type of gag that RiffTrax does a lot and this is a situation that called for something with more of a punch and less of something that is the equivalent of "Well, THAT just happened."  It's that type of comedy that really settles in over the course of the entire movie.  And, to be frank, I felt like this was a pretty sparse riff.  It felt like there were openings that were easy lay-ups that they didn't go for, and some of the openings they did take just felt like placeholder lines.  There is this vibe of being uninspired that haunts this episode.

Deathsport is at its most amusing when Deathsport is actually happening.  The little death game is the height of the movie's action and it also breathes some life into the commentary.  My favorite quips of the episode were condensed into this segment, with my all-star being Crow stating "Somewhere, MrBeast is wondering how he can trick poor people into doing this."  I also quite liked the prompt upon seeing many bike explosions, claiming "If Michael Bay directed Rad."  This is good stuff, but it only takes up maybe five minutes of the episode.

The short isn't much better.  I'm happy to see shorts return into the episode's presentation, but the selection lets down.  It's goofy but I don't really feel it's all that interesting a piece to be commenting upon.  Hygiene shorts have been done before on the show, usually with more memorable results.  Personal Hygiene for Boys covers a lot of the same ground and I'm not convinced it was worth going back to the well.  Some of the funnier moments are just the short trying (and failing) to amuse its teen audience, with the most memorable moment being the melodramatic shock faces over the repeated narration of "BODY ODOR!"  But the biggest laugh that's actually a riff happens when the narrator says that you should change your clothing daily if you can, which results in Mike flinching and shouting back "IF YOU CAN?!?!?"  But also this short can feel just as limp as the feature, with paltry observations such as pondering if one of the featured teens looks like Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts.  That line is one of those jokes that was obviously written by a Millennial writer and I'm not convinced the performers even know what it means.

The host segments didn't inspire much in me either.  Servo's little song about wearing a loincloth is pretty fun.  Apparently, the new SOL had some escape pods, like the previous models.  If you're trapped in space, always check those Hamdinger boxes.  Mike accidentally launches them without passengers because of course he did, but at least Servo and Crow didn't drag race this crop.  Also, Australian Rules Deathsport is a bit goes absolutely nowhere.  On the Mads side, Bobo gets hit by lawn darts and Observer starts spewing message board style Roger Corman defenses.  Also, Observer makes an Emoji Movie joke.

Pre-covid comedy called.  It wants its punching bag back.

I'm teetering on the edge of my bottom rating for this one.  The fact of the matter is that I usually reserve that for episodes that I do not enjoy watching and would likely not pop in for casual viewing.  Deathsport arguably doesn't meet that criteria on the basis that the experience wasn't disagreeable, it was just empty.  The movie is a great selection, but the episode they created out of it just doesn't approach the episode they could have made out of it.  That's not me bemoaning the Season 14 episode we lost because we easily could have gotten a great riff out of this movie with the RiffTrax crew.  This just felt through-the-motions and half-hearted.

Fuck it.  I feel bitter about this one, and I've never felt bitter at this show.  Maybe I'll feel differently on a future watch, but for now this is the most disappointed I've been with this show in a while.  My verdict is going to reflect that.

⭐️

Not Recommended