601-Girls Town

Film Year:  1959

Genre:  Drama

Director:  Charles F. Haas

Starring:  Mamie Van Doren, what lies in front of Mamie Van Doren, what lies behind Mamie Van Doren (Gigantor?), just all of Mamie Van Doren, also Mel Torme and Paul Anka (and Harold Lloyd Jr. and Charles Chaplin Jr.?)

MST Season:  6

The Movie

Listen to me girls, watch your P's and Q's,

Boy you're gonna have the Girls Town blues!

Hey, Mamie!  It's been a while!  We haven't seen you since you were an Untamed Youth!  Oh you still are an Untamed Youth?  Well that's because you haven't gone to Girls Town!  This film sees the the endowed sex symbol as a 16-year-old (yeah right) named Silver framed for the death of a boy she stood up on the night he was killed.  She is sentenced to Girls Town, a house for troubled girls who need guidance.  But her wild ways has her butting heads with the head nuns and the straight-laced girls at the school.

For a good long while Girls Town isn't a bad movie, just very simple.  It's got a cute story of the bad girl surrounded by morality, even though it's funny that it portrays the supposed rule-followers as the bullies, while Madam Van Doren is the poor girl with an attitude getting picked on, but it's kind of fun in a role reversal sort of way.  The worst this movie has going for it is a subplot involving a sociopathic resident who has a crush on a singer played by blossoming singer Paul Anka, and goes full blown delusional in her devotion to him.  While her suicidal storyline does have give some urgency in the plot of the movie down the road, it can be a bit over the top at times.  And it's final solutions to her delusions?  Become a nun.  That cures psychosis right up!

I kind of want to see the thriller sequel to this movie where this character deals with a sort of Norman Bates style disorder while living at Girls Town.  Now THAT'S a movie!

The movie doesn't get too out of control until its third act, which throws a lot of nonsense into the mix.  In addition to Paul Anka, another hot singer of the time, Mel Torme, has a role in this movie.  Torme plays the villain of the piece, as he is the only witness to the crime, figures out that the sister to Van Doren's character is the actual culprit just as she coincidentally hitches a ride with him, takes her to a drag race for some reason where some other punk gets killed, then they get chased by the police, only to have her get caught making her a witness to his crime, only for him to kidnap her again and plan to highjack her to Tijuana so he doesn't get fingered.  This is one hell of a convoluted plot point and the movie just throws it at the audience.  Luckily Van Doren and the ladies of Girls Town break out to the rescue!

Weirdly enough this movie stars the namesake sons of two silent film legends, Harold Lloyd and Charlie Chaplin, both of which died young in their 40's and both have Girls Town as one of their final credits.  Harold Lloyd Jr. even plays the ill-fated Chip, the masher who falls off a cliff and springs the plot into motion.  Chaplin Jr. plays some dude named Joe.  With both of these legacy children in the film, it has to be intentional casting.  But that legacy is likely lost on the 50's teen audience, who don't give a flying fig about dirty old silent comedy.  Girls Town is just a silly movie to stimulate a teenager's rebellious side while surrounding it with the comforts of 1950's conformism to hopefully keep them in check.  Who knows if it worked, but they got to see Mamie strut her stuff so I doubt anybody complained.

The Episode

I think it's probably worth saying that Girls Town is the I Accuse My Parents of the Mike era.  It's a weird little teen drama that feature some deceptive protagonists who don't really take responsibility for their own actions.  Girls Town isn't quite as bizarrely misguided as I Accuse My Parents, but both feature wildly funny riffing just the same.  Girls Town targets things you'd expect, such as Mamie Van Doren's measurements and the all-girl setting bringing a bunch of chatterbox, cat fight, and girl talk riffs.  But Girls Town is also echoes I Accuse My Parents in the way it treats Paul Anka's stalker, as they endow further delusions of her relationship to Anka upon her, and it's pretty hilarious.  I'm also a sucker for un-nunly riffs on nun characters, of which this riff has plenty, while neither Paul Anka nor Mel Torme get out without a scratch.

And, of course, Mamie's swiveling hips bring Mike fond memories of "Gigaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnntor!"

The season six premiere also brings about the Umbilicus to the series, a sort of tether that Dr. Forrester attaches to Gypsy to better connect the Satellite of Love to Deep 13.  The purpose of it?  Ehhhhh...debatable.  I guess it allows them to send stuff up to the Satellite easier, but the show has never really bothered with explanations for things before so it's hard to see why they'd start now (How does he eat?  How does he breath?).  But the idea of Gypsy being a connection to the Mads is a neat idea, and it does set up a good Three Stooges pie gag!  Other host segments involve Tom Servo scatting like Mel Torme (to the dismay of Mike and Crow), Mike and the Bots envisioning the woman of the future, and Mike puts the Bots on the honor system (and regrets it).

Though in my opinion Girls Town is one of the better premieres of the series, as the riffing is wildly funny and the movie is watchably stupid.  And all the men and bi-curious ladies get a gander at Mamie Van Doren in her prime, so we're all winners here!  It's worth taking a trip to Girls Town!

Classic

The DVD

Girls Town was one of the last episodes to hit home media on Shout Factory's Volume XXXIX set, which as of this writing is the final collection of classic MST episodes.  Video is pretty solid, though the audio in the movie has a slight hiss in dialogue that that was typical of video tapes at the time.  I feel like it's safe to assume that it's not a flaw in the transfer of the episode but a flaw in the copy of the film they viewed.

Bonus features include Anatomy of a Theme, which is an interview with Chuck Love, who helped Joel Hodgson create the MST theme song.  He talks about the creation of both it and the ending "Love Theme," and how it's his most covered composition.  Also here is a trailer for Girls Town.

Make More MST3K Live Streams (MST3K Special)

Five-and-a-half years after the original Kickstarter campaign to Bring Back MST3K and one-and-a-half years after Joel announced Netflix wasn't picking up the series for a thirteenth season, Joel returned to Kickstarter in April of 2021 with a new idea of launching a new app called the Gizmoplex, to debut new episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 on and hopefully self-sustain the series for the foreseeable future.  One of the more amusing things that Joel brought to this Kickstarter that had fans delighted was a series of live streams featuring himself, the revival cast, the tour cast, and a few special guests like J. Elvis Weinstein, Mary Jo Pehl, and Bill Corbett.

The majority of these live streams seemed to play with the seed of concept you could see brewing in the previous year's Riff-A-Long special, where the cast would watch a classic episode of the series together.  Instead of riffing over it like the Riff-A-Long did, these streams were meant to be more like watching MST together with your friends and hanging out.  They would commentate on the episode or the movie amongst each other as well, and the discourse is delightful.

There were six episodes watched during these watch party streams:  Hobgoblins, Untamed Youth, Quest of the Delta Knights, Gamera vs. Guiron, Werewolf, and Zombie Nightmare.  I have absolutely no problem with the episode selection.  I think all of these episodes are rock solid and fun.  Even Untamed Youth, while a first season episode, is one of the highlights of it's season.  And what's great about watching these episodes with the new casts intermingling and we get to see them talk about the series as both fans and people who worked on it.  It's cool to hear everyone throw out their favorite episodes and compare them to their own experiences on the show, such as Baron giving a shoutout to Yongary, claiming he and Jonah were certain that episode was going to be the hit of the season, only to be taken by surprise when Cry Wilderness got all the love (I like Yongary, but I'm going to give the edge to Cry Wilderness).

Probably the undoubted highlight is watching these episodes with Joel.  He even admits up top that he had never seen Hobgoblins or Quest of the Delta Knights before, which means we get to see him watch these episodes for the first time.  I'll tell you what, watching him get that huge belly laugh at a joke you're familiar with a million times over makes it feel like we're watching these episodes for the first time all over again.  One moment I treasure is when they watch the opening credits to Hobgoblins and Joel reads a name in the credits and says "I know him!"  That's the moment that made me fall in love with this format.

In a bit of a missed opportunity, while it's fun to see Joel respond to episodes he's not familiar with, I kind of wish there were more Joel episodes in this line-up.  There are only two, and it feels like there could be some behind the scenes trivia that could be deep dived into.  He and J. Elvis talk a lot over Untamed Youth, about how they had difficulty writing the episode and had to buy alcohol to get through it.  Joel was set to also view Gamera vs. Guiron but had to back out at the last minute (the official reason is that his co-workers asked him to take the day off), so that stream turns less informative and more rowdy, as Jonah, Hampton, Nate, and Conor turn the episode into a party.  But Bill Corbett drops in for the Werewolf stream to talk about the production of that episode, while Mary Jo barely remembers anything about Delta Knights.

On the flip side, Zombie Nightmare has a guest who actually worked on the film itself.  Frank Deitz pops in after the episode to discuss what sounds like a chaotic shoot, including Adam West stories, unfilmed nudity, and forgetting to pick up a guest actor at the airport.  Deitz is full of life and is eager to share these interesting tidbits, and it's fun to hear them!

There are also Q&A sessions.  A lot of basic stuff like "What's your favorite episode?" and so on.  I actually had a question that was answered on stream, though they didn't mention my Twitter account by name.  My question basically stemmed from how little we knew about Emily, Conor, Nate, and Yvonne, because they just kinda popped up in the franchise one day without much introduction and never left, so they've always felt like an enigma to me.  So I asked on Twitter how they met Joel and got into the fold, which apparently is a question that really excited Emily, because she "liked" my tweet within seconds and she brought it up right at the beginning of the Hobgoblins stream, and they all did a great roundtable about auditioning for their roles.  The fact that I helped spawn a Q&A highlight gives me the warm and fuzzies.

But the highlight stream wasn't even a watch party, but rather a Jackbox Game Night stream.  Jonah, Baron, Hampton, and Rebecca go head-to-head with Emily, Conor, Nate, and Yvonne to see which cast was the superior by playing several rounds of the Jackbox party games.  Let me tell you right now, any criticism that the new cast isn't "funny enough" went down in flames with this stream, because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath.  Best in Show, in my opinion, goes to each team's Crow, which both walk up to the plate and hit a home run.  Nate gives us an outstanding Ed Wynn impersonation, which effectively annoys everyone in the room, but left me begging for more.  Meanwhile Hampton just steals the spotlight at every opportunity, culminating in a brilliant round of Talking Points, where he does an angry German talking about his life-changing Golden Girls fan fiction.  It is truly epic and hilarious.

However my one criticism is that when he says "Thank you" at the end, he doesn't add "For being a friend."

You see like the theme song.......okay, I'll shut up now.

Everything leads up to a second Final Countdown telethon, which culminated the Kickstarter by entertaining the audience to the best of its ability as the final hours counted down.  Unfortunately due to Covid protocols, the telethon isn't as extravagant as the 2015 telethon and had to be held over Zoom, but it still has a few surprises up it's sleeve.  There are pre-recorded bits by entertainment guests, including Dana Gould and Mario and his magic robots.  Celebrity guests include Alex Winter and Michael Sheen, who both give the Kickstarter their well wishes.  Jonah and Emily's crew even go in for Jackbox Round 2, which isn't as extravagant as the first stream and just consists of a few rounds of Quiplash.

Like the previous telethon, the main goal of the Kickstarter was already passed before the telethon began, and the telethon was just reaching for stretch goals.  In this case, Joel challenged us to surpass the $6.36 million that the previous Kickstarter raised, in return for a bonus holiday special episode.  Mission accomplished within the final hour, but the telethon continued as they continued to watch the counter go up until it surpassed $6.5 million and the Kickstarter officially ended, officially confirming MST3K would return for a thirteen-episode thirteenth season, and the Gizmoplex app will become a reality this fall.  I find myself optimistic for the future of the series.  But the real test of the fruits of these labors will be seeing whether or not the Gizmoplex can sustain enough funds for a fourteenth season.  Here's hoping we won't need another Kickstarter to get there, because I'm running out of money!

That being said, once the Gizmoplex gets up and running, it might be fun if the watchalongs become a regular thing.  There are certainly plenty of episodes, and I'm sure a lot of people will tune into them!  It would help sell the Gizmoplex and these streams help endear the audience to the new cast.  But even if these are all we get, these were some of the most fabulous moments of the second Kickstarter.

Make More MST3K Kickstarter Bumpers (MST3K Special)

Here we go again!  Our six million dollars last time apparently wasn't enough, so here they are again begging for more money.

Another Kickstarter came and went.  We actually made more money than last time but wound up with one less episode somehow.  Damn you inflation!  But this time instead of just investing in the episodes, we're also hopefully investing in thr future of Mystery Science Theater 3000 by funding the episodes and also a new app for them to debut on called the Gizmoplex.  What is Gizmoplex?  Well I'm glad you asked, because series creator Joel Hodgson is here to tell you!

Like last time, Joel put together a presentation for potential backers, pitching new episodes while Jonah and the Bots riffed him from theater seats down below.  Due to Covid restrictions, they present their ideas like a Zoom meeting this time, with each character featuring their own screen, interacting.  Joel pitches his idea for the Gizmoplex, an interactive app of MST content, while Jonah and the Bots listen and interject.  These bits are cute, though they're a bit stiffly scripted.  It might be that everyone's part was filmed separately then pasted together, making interaction feel like its lacking natural interplay.  Because of this, it feels like when it goes for humor they go for safe nostalgia laughs, like Crow referencing Earth vs. Soup or his desire to "decide who lives and who dies."  Everyone feels like they're sticking to a strict script, and maybe they need to, because they need to get this idea across as clearly as possible.

There are only two videos this time, with the first devoted to selling the idea of a Gizmoplex app, while the second has a lot to do with the production of the new season.  Joel pitches "remote production," which is an effort make the series through Covid restrictions, which Joel is pitching as making filming easier.  I'm going to trust Joel to figure that out, and we'll see if it works once season 13 debuts.

Probably the big news relevant to the series from this second video is something a lot of MSTies were expecting but never had confirmation of, that the cast of the Cheesy Movie Circus Tour was being worked into the show.  We didn't really know how or when, but Joel had really pushed to endear this cast to us for two years before actually saying they were going to be on the series, with them riffing shorts, hosting Turkey Days, and putting on the Riff-A-Long special.  This cast includes Emily Marsh as new test subject Emily Connor, Conor McGiffin as her Tom Servo, Nate Begle as her Crow, and Yvonne Ingrid Freeze as the new Gypsy model GPC (Joel decided to rename Gypsy upon learning the word "gypsy" is a derogatory slur) as well as the new Mad Mega Synthia.

Upon learning this crew will be adopted into the series, Joel then throws a pitch at us that the episodes will be alternating between the Jonah/Baron/Hampton/Rebecca crew and the Emily/Conor/Nate/Yvonne crew.  The idea coming across to me in this is that there are multiple experiments going on in Kinga Forrester's new "Gizmoplex" and each host has their own set of robots (I'm curious if Jonah's were ever meant to be the original Bots or were always just copies that Kinga created, and she created another group of duplicates for Emily).  It's an interesting concept and I'm eager to see it in action.

Joel also drops the bombshell on us that if they make the full $5.5 million they want for a full season, he would come back to host two episodes.  Well that's all well and good, but without Kevin/Josh and Trace as his Servo and Crow, is it really the Joel return we wanted?  Especially if we're playing with this multiple bot concept.  Plus if we're getting Joel back, that just has the fan in me begging for Mike to come back too.

But that's looking a gift horse in the mouth.  Of course I'd like to see Joel back, and those who aren't participating in the show have their reasons.  The new season sounds fun, though the plan is a bit convoluted.  Do these videos successfully sell the idea to me?  Honestly, I was in the bag no matter what so I'm not really sure.  If one didn't like the Netflix seasons, more MST is a hard sell, unless the person investing really likes Emily's crew a whole lot better than Jonah's.  I think the stilted comedy of the videos doesn't really sell the humor of the show.  I did however like the running gag where Crow becomes obsessed with the idea of eating Jonah and the closing of the second video where Crow pitches his World War Space script and everyone logs out except Emily's Crow, who is enraptured.

But whatever my opinion may be, people wanted more MST3K and the people spoke.  MST3K is officially coming back for a new season and we have these videos to partially thank for that.

1201-Mac and Me

Film Year:  1988

Genre:  Science Fiction, Fantasy, Comedy

Director:  Stewart Raffill

Starring:  Mac and him

MST Season:  12

The Movie

Witness the thrilling origin of that clip that Paul Rudd would always play every time he guested on Conan O'Brian.  Even when he was promoting Ant-Man.  ANT-MAN!  Imagine looking for footage of the latest Marvel movie and you get that shot of that kid in a wheelchair rolling downhill.

Mac and Me is a cheesy late-80's attempt to cash in off the popularity of Steven Spielberg's beloved family film E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial.  Like E.T., Mac and Me follows a group of kids in the suburbs who befriend a lost little alien who is trying to find his family.

Now imagine everything that E.T. did right was replaced by a bunch of creative choices that elicit the response of "Oh Jesus Christ, why did you do that?!"

Mac and Me was an instant crap classic when it came out, bringing about a slew of negative reviews and many critics calling it one of, if not THE, worst movies of the year.  The movie was even nominated for Worst Picture at the Razzie Awards, but lost to the craptacular Tom Cruise vehicle Cocktail (which incidentally was riffed by Rifftrax).  So Mac and Me has a bit of a reputation, yet I hadn't seen it until it aired on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Yeah, it's pretty bad...I guess.

Mac and Me is more of a dumb movie than a painful one.  There are a ton of strange and bizarre hoops it jumps through to tell its derivative story.  I kind of admire that it jumps through as many as it does, with a sort of abstract, almost animated way of presenting the aliens, where they are living cartoon characters.  Mac and Me might even have been a better movie if they were animated characters, instead of people in really shitty suits.  Or maybe it would have just gone full-on Space Jam.  I don't know, but it's a kooky flick.

It's probably remembered most for its very aggressive product placement.  Most notably with McDonalds and Coca-Cola.  McDonalds is the setting for a fairly lengthy musical scene in the film (a good portion of it apparently is cut out of the MST version, mind you), while Coke is almost used as a prop.  The kids in the film almost always keep one handy, just in case the alien Mac is feeling down or hurt.  Then they bust out a Coca-Cola Classic and Mac is up and at 'em!

Drink Coke!  It'll cure what ails ya'!

It's a strange movie.  I didn't hate it, but I also didn't think much of it while watching it.  I think I see why it has such huge cult appeal, but I've seen too many movies like it or worse to think there is anything special about it.  I know it can't touch what I consider Mac and Me director Stewart Raffill's masterpiece, 1994's Tammy and the T-Rex, starring Paul Walker, Denise Richards, and a giant animatronic T-Rex puppet.  But maybe I was expecting too much for it to be genius on that level.

The Episode

Rejoice, MSTies!  Netflix has renewed Mystery Science Theater 3000 for another season...but on their own terms.  Our episode count in the previous season reflected a healthy Kickstarter campaign that overshot its goal and created bonus episodes to spare.  The problem is that Netflix is all about the "bingewatch experience," and you can't watch fourteen episodes of an hour and a half program in a single day (well, technically it's twenty-two hours long, so it's possible, but who's going to?).  Netflix will renew the show, but they want people to watch the entire season in a single day for...reasons, I guess.  So they just order six episodes and force a storyline to "encourage bingewatching."

I have...thoughts.

I do wonder if I should hold my tongue about this until my eventual season overview, but I think Netflix's "bingewatch experience" ruins the "television experience."  If an entire season of something was meant to be watched in a single day, it wouldn't be split into episodes.  Bingewatching can be a fun practice if I'm already familiar with a show and am doing it just for some me time, but when it's a brand new show, I don't see the merit.  Weekly episode viewing prompts discussion from the consumer and keeps a product in focus for a longer duration.  Pressuring viewers to watch an entire season in a single day can burn out interest and cause people to shift focus almost immediately.  This instant gratification demand that Netflix has created is why I try not to support the company if I can help it.  Netflix just...sucks.

That being said, new MST!  Yay!  I have to watch it all on release day or it will get cancelled, too.   Yay?  Oh shit, it's out on Thanksgiving and I have family commitments.  I have to watch it when I can and hope that's good enou.......oh.  Cancelled already, huh?  I guess I have nobody to blame but myself.

But here we are with the bingewatch season of MST.  The six-part marathon that wants us to watch all the episodes in a row.  How are they convincing us to binge though?  MST isn't exactly a binge show.  Episodes run too long, and it's hard to wrap arcs around watching a bad movie.  What scenario have they cooked up?  Why, it's a little thing called "The Gauntlet!"  Kinga is feeling particularly evil and decided that putting Jonah through one bad movie isn't enough.  Putting him through six in a row is better!  And hyping up the new season of MST we had cast and crew members daring us to run the Gauntlet with Jonah and the Bots!

First up, the E.T. knockoff with a McDonalds sponsorship, Mac and Me!

"It's just like that scene from Mac and Me where Mac came back to life!" - Crow T. Robot while watching Pod People

It's interesting to me that we've reached a point in MST3K where then-current pop culture references from previous episodes are now riffing fodder on it.  That particular quote above from Pod People was a comparison made by Crow making fun of a derivative scene, but he decided to say it's derivative of another derivative film (Mac and Me) when it should be derivative of the main source (E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial).  Though while Mac and Me does feature a resurrection, it's not Mac that gets brought back to life, so that kind of ruins THAT gag.

Mac and Me lends itself well to the riffing format.  While the film is comedic, it's so absurdly embellished that is helps fuel comedy at its expense as well.  The slapstick is over-the-top and the budget is so low that the film goes to absurd measures to try and pull it off.  All of this revs up Jonah and the Bots, who latch onto the film' wackiness and throw some wacky jabs at it to play up its stupidity.  They also get a kick out of the film's absurd product placement deals, which even sees characters using Coca-Cola to help heal the alien life forms.

"Dammit nurse, this is a Pepsi!  It doesn't have the unique healing properties of a Coke Classic!"

Outside of the theater, there is not much playing up this "Gauntlet" concept other than the intro and the outro, so the episode mostly stands on its own.  However, interestingly they do a format change.  They dump the little Moon 13 breaks from the previous season, which were pointless so who cares.  However the big news is that they drop a host segment from the structure of the show.  Before I grab my pitchfork, I think it's important to look at what this does for the way the episode presented.  The classic format of MST split the theater into four segments, which helped everything play out in half hour chunks in a two hour time slot.  With MST on streaming, the previous format is a bit needlessly archaic, and by splitting the theater segments into three instead of four, it creates a three-act structure.  This might actually be the superior framing for the streaming era of the show, in my opinion.  What I do know for certain is that the format of the previous season didn't work.

Though to be fully transparent, I have a gut feeling the reason the segment was dropped was because Netflix thought it would "binge better."  Maybe it was the right call for the wrong reason.

But while we lost a host segment, we still have a good amount here.  Jonah and the Bots communicate with Moon 13 through a series of whistles, like the aliens in the movie, while they parody the McDonalds product placement and dance number later in the movie.  The Invention Exchange features the Mads new drug, while Jonah and the Bots create a spam and Pez hybrid called Spez.

And as for the payoff to last year's cliffhanger where Jonah was devoured by Reptilicus Metalicus, Jonah tries to tell his tale but nobody cares.  I love it!

Interestingly the opening to this episode is one of the few (only?) times Cambot appears onscreen, as Servo and Crow reformat him for more mobile cinematography.  And a Cambot in motion does look pretty good, let me tell you.  In fact, I like the brighter and softer production design in general this season.

During promotion of this season, Jonah talked about how Joel initially wanted Mac and Me to be the big closer of the season to end the Gauntlet on a high note.  Jonah convinced him to make it the premiere instead insisting that Mac and Me was too infamous of a bad movie and "People would have watched it first anyway."  I see both sides of the argument, though it feels to me like the worst movies of the Gauntlet come out right out of the gate and Mac and Me would have been better used as a punchier finale, as opposed to Ator, The Fighting Eagle, which is relatively tame for a bad movie (or they could have used Atlantic Rim for the finale, which is arguably the worst movie of the season).  But regardless of where Mac and Me fell during the season, it's definitely one of the more enjoyable and hilarious episodes of the Gauntlet.  Maybe even the best.  The Gauntlet never really produced a great episode in my opinion, but Mac and Me does come pretty close.

Good

PRETTY NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!

The DVD and Blu-Ray

Shout Factory brought Mac and Me to Earth on the DVD and Blu-Ray box sets of Season 12:  The Gauntlet.  Audio and video were both pristine, and, while there were no special features on the disc, it shared a disc with the following episode, Atlantic Rim.  Those who contributed to a pledge drive fundraiser got a special collection with a bonus disc, deemed the Pledge Drive Edition.  My copy happens to be that particular set.

617-The Sword and the Dragon

Film Year:  1956

Genre:  Fantasy, Adventure

Director:  Aleksandr Ptushko

Starring:  Boris Andreyev, Shukur Burkhanov, Andrei Abrikosov, Natalya Medvediva, Yelena Myshkova

MST Season:  6

The Movie

Originally released in Russia under the title Ilya Muromets, the name of its protagonist, The Sword and the Dragon is a heavily edited version imported to the US by Roger Corman.  I'm sure that doesn't do wonders for its coherency, but the gist of the film does come through.  This particular film is a generational fantasy saga about Ilya Muromets, who inherits a legendary sword and a trusty steed, and quests to become a great warrior of his country and defend it from invading forces.

If these Russo-Finnish films seem similar, it's mostly because they're mostly made with largely the same crew.  The Sword and the Dragon is from the makers of The Day the Earth Froze and The Magic Voyage of Sinbad, and it certainly feels it.  I kind of like The Sword and the Dragon the best of these three movies, because I think the attempt at a warrior's life story is pretty interesting and, as always, these fantasy films bring some unique, playful, and cool, if somewhat wacky, visuals.

That being said, like all of these Russian epics, The Sword and the Dragon goes full speed ahead and leaves the viewers a bit in the wind.  It trusts the audience to keep up, which will probably be easier for those familiar with its folklore.  The Sword and the Dragon is just a whirlwind of fantasy adventure and swashbuckling action, and for some people, that's what the doctor ordered.

The Episode

As per normal with the Russo-Finnish films, the movie is doing all the heavy lifting.  The riffers are just there to enhance it.  And with the crazy, bombastic fantasy on display, The Sword and the Dragon is just as deliciously flavorful as the previous films.  Mike and the Bots latch onto the larger-than-life characters and wacky displays of spectacle and go to town with their embellishment of each, which makes the episode constantly fun and engaging.  These films never disappoint.

The host segments are a bit more uneven, but mostly okay.  I have a suspicion that the movie was running short for them, because a few segments run exceptionally long.  Oddly enough, those are the bits I really enjoyed.  I really like the "A Joke By Ingmar Bergman" sketch, which is a slow, long walk for its gag, but is mostly just a lengthy parody film fans will recognize and enjoy.  The other lengthy sketch is "SupercalifragilisticexpialiWACKY," which is a parody of a parody basically.  It's a riff on a zingy political satire performance like this that would get on stage and take rapid potshots at the government.  What I like about this segment is that it makes fun of how lame performances are, but it has a roundabout way of being funny because of how unfunny it is.

Other segments include a short re-enactment of the film and a visit from Ilya Muromets, who is now the owner of a pancake house for some reason.  On the Mads end, Dr. Forrester and Frank meet their new neighbors, who happen to be ladies (played by Bridget Jones and Mary Jo Pehl), but Dr. F and Frank don't know how to talk to girls.  This segment seems to be a giant dig on comic book nerds and sci-fi fans not being able to attract women, which can be a bit mean spirited.  However the segment does go an extra mile in stating that it's actually the introverted personalities of the Mads that is making the situation awkward, and not their hobbies in general.

While it seems like I have more to say about the host segments than the riffing, that's mostly because the pleasurable riffing experience is more or less just "It just works."  The flashy spectacle and fun ribbing is always a good combination, and it always has been. Fans of The Day the Earth Froze, The Magic Voyage of Sinbad, and even the eighth season's Jack Frost will want to seek out The Sword and the Dragon, because it is every bit as funny.

Classic

The DVD

Shout Factory brought us to the magic land of The Sword and the Dragon as a part of their Volume XXIV collection.  The video transfer occasionally had a slight flicker on the top of the screen, not too bothersome, while audio was solid.  The sole bonus features where a pair of shorts, Snow Thrills and A Date With Your Family.  Of the two, A Date With Your Family is the better one but it's an odd inclusion.  A Date With Your Family had already been released on DVD on Shorts Volume 1, and the episode it was featured with, Invasion USA, was released two volumes later.  There was really not much clamoring for the short to be a bonus feature.  Snow Thrills, on the other hand, was the short featured with It Conquered the World, which has never seen release and Snow Thrills was never on a shorts compilation, so it's inclusion is more welcome.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XXXIII DVD Retrospective

Release Date:  July 28, 2015

Buy it here!

Episodes featured:

Daddy-O

Earth vs. the Spider

Teen-Age Crime Wave

Agent for H.A.R.M.

Thirty-three volumes into Mystery Science Theater 3000, and we still are getting some absolute bangers.  You would think they'd run out of great episodes at some point, but we have some great ones for the MSTies this time.  A couple of my all-time favorites grace this volume, with Teen-Age Crime Wave and Agent for H.A.R.M.  The Joel episodes are quite exceptional as well, with the very solid Daddy-O and Earth vs. the Spider.  My favorite of the set is easily Teen-Age Crime Wave, which is a riot.  The "loser" of the set?  My least favorite is Daddy-O on the basis of the weak short.  But there are no losers as far as MST Volume XXXIII is concerned.

One noteworthy thing about the episodes in this set is that it features the two episodes where the movie runs short and they fill up time by stopping and restarting the credits at various times due to a running gag, with the button being broken in Daddy-O and Frank getting maced over and over again in Teen-Age Crime Wave.  Bravo by putting both of these in one package!

Average Rating (out of 4):  3.5

Audio and video is exceptional across the board.  This box set's bonus features are mostly film related, so good news for people like me who like learning more about the movies.  There are making of features for both Daddy-O and Earth vs. the Spider, while Teen-Age Crime Wave and Agent for H.A.R.M. have interviews with their respective stars, Tommy Cook and the late Peter Mark Richman.  The highlight is a documentary on the career of Teen-Age Crime Wave producer Samuel Katzman called Film It Again, Sam.  Impressive stuff there!  Also included are Mystery Science Theater Hour wraps for Daddy-O and Earth vs. the Spider as well as theatrical trailers for Earth vs. the Spider and Teen-Age Crime Wave.

There is no changing it up for the cover art, which is Shout Factory's stock design featuring the theater seats at the bottom, the MST logo in the upper left corner, and the roman numerals XXXIII in the center in green.  As always, the real star of the show are the Steve Vance covers for the individual cases on the inside.  Daddy-O features Crow as our singing hero at the top, while Tom Servo cruises around below the logo in a convertible and a blonde wig.  Earth vs. the Spider features to two bots as the teenage heroes of the film, running in terror from the giant spider looming above them atop a building.  Teen-Age Crime Wave features Servo and Crow as outlaws Mike and Terry, pointing their revolvers at anyone who dares look at them.  Agent for H.A.R.M. features Servo as the desirable spy Adam Chance, while he holds his sexy bikini-clad co-star, played by Crow.  Disc art is traditional movie title logos against a starry backdrop.

The menus continue the weird mini-puppet aesthetic from the previous set, still using the same basic idea that the CG menus did...just with puppets.  Daddy-O has Crow and Servo having breakfast with the feisty female lead.  Earth vs. the Spider sees a giant spider entering the Satellite of Love bridge and spraying Crow and Servo with webs.  Teen-Age Crime wave has Mike and Terry busting in on Crow and Servo, pointing guns on them.  Agent for H.A.R.M. plays with the episode's host segment arc, and features Mike in a prison uniform as visions of accusations from the cast fly around him.

BUH DUH BAH DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

If one wants a healthy and reliable sampling of both the Joel and Mike eras of the series, Volume XXXIII is a must own.  The one slight down side is that the Mike episodes easily outweigh the Joel episodes, however with episodes this funny it doesn't really matter.  If you're a MSTies, this is one set that needs to be on your shelf.

522-Teen-Age Crime Wave

Film Year:  1955

Genre:  Drama, Crime

Director:  Fred F. Sears

Starring:  Tommy Cook, Molly McCart, Sue England, Frank Griffin, James Bell, Kay Reihl

MST Season:  5

The Movie

A classic example of Hollywood's juvenile-delinquency-put-on-film genre of the 1950's, Teen-Age Crime Wave is a halfway fetishizing of the lawless lifestyle and a tsk-tsk'ing of a couple of kids who "need some good parenting."  The film tells the story of Mike and Terry, a pair of underage criminals who get busted in a getaway.  Also there is nice girl Jane, who is in the wrong place at the wrong time, but gets taken to court as an accessory and she and Terry get convicted of robbery.  Mike, who made his escape, busts the two dames out, and he and Terry take the reluctant Jane with them so she won't alert the cops.  The trio take refuge in a remote countryside farmhouse, taking an older couple hostage while Mike and Terry figure out what to do next.  But time is running out on them quickly.

There is something of an allegory in play with Teen-Age Crime Wave in that the primary story of the film is about parental figures trying to reach troubled teenagers and convince them to turn their life around.  It's a thankless task, as Mike and Terry are one dimensional characters who do have sob stories in their narrative, but seemingly are in this lifestyle because they choose to be there and they like it.  They are counteracted by characters like Jane and Ben, the older couple's visiting son, who are together individuals seemingly because they have stable homes.  But the mirror of lifestyle doesn't always work, because Mike and Terry are "in it for the kicks," so to speak.  It comes off at more than one point that they're doing this not out of necessity, but because it's fun.  That is, until we get to a conclusion where things aren't fun anymore, and boy, they should have listened to those old people!

The movie is a bit too bare bones to fully flesh itself out, and it constantly squanders the complicated relationships that it could put on display.  Mike and Terry would be engaging if Mike weren't a generic tough guy wannabe and Terry weren't a generic sidekick moll.  Being an innocent caught in the middle, Jane should find some place in this narrative but she never does.  Instead she screams and whines about not wanting to be here.  I mean, I'm sure that's true, but why is she here in this story?  The tragedy of a good person being taken down by the bad deeds of others is a decent arc, but it doesn't really go anywhere and it comes of as a shallow propaganda of "don't do bad things because they hurt good people."  That's a nice sentiment, but it's wasted.

Teen-Age Crime Wave is a moderate little crime drama that doesn't last too long, and it's reasonable to not expect too much from low-budget, superficial productions like this.  At the same time, one can easily see how many things could be added to it to make it a better movie.

The Episode

"This movie is forty minutes of heart-driving living room action!"

The beauty of riffing Teen-Age Crime Wave is that in many ways the film is one of the most scenery chewing one-set plays the show could ask for.  The film mostly follows one-note personality characters, and they spend a lot of time in one area just getting pissy at each other.  There is a lot of personality to project with the comedy, and project they do.  They ride these traits hard, and take the conflict between each and make it funnier.  It works.  Teen-Age Crime Wave is a riot from start to finish, with it's stereotypical bad kid whack-jobs invading a quiet Christian family's home, leading to many a funny scenario as they execute their stupid plan of just pointing a revolver at people for a few days while they grunt at them.  This episode is wildly fun.

"I'm afraid you're going down, Kitten.  Hard."

The host segments tend to be a little lower key, with a space deli, a Mentos commercial parody, and a tribute to "The Doughy Guy."  Cute, but not memorable.  However, this episode is noteworthy for being the last gasp of the Invention Exchange on the series, which was completely phased out until the reboot on Netflix in 2017.  The last two episodes didn't really feature one, but this episode reintroduces the concept as Dr. Forrester introduces Satan's Jockstrap Mace Mousse, and Mike invents a jetpack to try and escape.  Perhaps Dr. F just found that Mike wasn't taking the tradition seriously and ended his inventing days right here.

Really this is mostly an excuse to set up a gag we had last seen in Daddy-O, where the movie is running short so the episode pads out time with a comedy setup where the closing credits start and stop over and over again.  This time Frank keeps hitting the button, only for the feed to start back up and have Dr. F sneak up on poor Frank and spray Satan's Jockstrap in his eyes.  If Frank's screams of agony make you laugh (and why wouldn't they?), this is a series highlight.

I find Teen-Age Crime Wave to be something of a sleeper hit episode.  Very few people talk about it, but whenever I discuss it with someone there always seem to be positive feelings.  I personally think it's a laugh riot, and one of the funniest episodes of, not only the season, but the whole series.  I always hope one day that it might get its due for just how funny it really is.

Classic

TURN IT OFF!  TURN IT OOOOAAAAAAAARGH!

The DVD

Shout Factory surfed the Teen-Age Crime Wave in their Volume XXXIII collection, with solid video and audio.  Bonus features included a documentary on producer Samuel Katzman called Film It Again, Sam:  The Katzman Chronicles.  Narrated by Tom Weaver among other film historian interviews, this doc covers Katzman's diverse career, from working on classics like Earth vs. the Flying Saucers, disasters like The Giant Claw, making cheap B-pictures starring Bela Lugosi (The Corpse Vanishes include), serials starring Batman and Superman, his tenure with Elvis Pressley's filmography, and even small-scale teen dramas like Teen-Age Crime Wave.  What a career!

Following that up is an interview with star Tommy Cook, called From Jungle Boy to Teenage Jungle.  Cook covers his career of a child actor leading up to filming Teen-Age Crime Wave, which concludes with a fairly lengthy account of filming our featured movie, including preparing for his moment that closes the picture.  The interview doesn't really go past that point, even though Cook had a career well into the 70's, including television cartoon voice work and also co-starring in the Rifftrax'd feature Missile to the Moon.

Also included is a trailer to the film.